One of the problems with D-Day (Discovery Day) is the anguishing question of “Why didn’t I see this coming?” In asking yourself this question, you start a journey of painful self-examination. I make a point of stressing the avoidance of ‘why’ questions like this one. Obsessing on ‘why’ questions agitates more pain. Despite the pain, […] The post How did you not see it coming? appeared first on Survive Your Partner's Affair BLOG ..read more

When I first jumped into the area of helping couples recover from affairs, my initial taste of internet sources was shocking. I researched what was available and didn’t like what I saw. What little I found I classified as “All men are pigs sites”. In those early days, cheaters were classified as pigs and the […] The post How you handle the Affair matters appeared first on Survive Your Partner's Affair BLOG ..read more

In a recent comment, a reader asked about dealing with a ‘secret affair’. She defined it as when one spouse has an affair, yet ends it in order to not rock the world of her family, only to find she is now suffering in a roommate marriage. In many ways, her comment was a call […] The post A Secret Affair and Roommate Marriage appeared first on Survive Your Partner's Affair BLOG ..read more

Throughout the past few months, I’ve embarked on a journey of embracing hard truths. These are the undeniable facts that I once resisted, but now understand the importance of accepting.   Acknowledging these hard truths mentally is only the first step. It is crucial to also accept them emotionally, as simply refusing to do so […] The post The Power of Hard Truths appeared first on Survive Your Partner's Affair BLOG ..read more

Have you ever wondered if you made a mistake by not attending your high school reunion? The nostalgic photos from my 40th reunion sparked this very question within me. The familiar faces and memories resurfaced, leaving me curious about what could have been.   Luckily, at a recent conference, Dr. Merrill Norton shed light on […] The post The Embrace of Never Dying Old Flames appeared first on Survive Your Partner's Affair BLOG ..read more

A reader wrote to me, “After my husband’s affair, I’ve been plagued by doubt. Can I trust him around other women? Will he be faithful this time?” It’s a question many of us ask ourselves after infidelity strikes our relationship.   But here’s the hard truth: there’s no magic crystal ball that can predict the […] The post Trying to Trust Again appeared first on Survive Your Partner's Affair BLOG ..read more

It saddened me to read the news reports about a prominent New York City pastor stepping down due to infidelity. Anytime someone misuses their position of trust it weakens future trust-based relationships. Although your pastor may not have had an affair, the actions of this one raise some doubts. Those doubts have you wondering if […] The post Apologies are not enough appeared first on Survive Your Partner's Affair BLOG ..read more

One of the more unsavory types of affair threats is from encroaching family members. Affairs with cohorts or neighbors is bad enough. When the affair involves a family member it takes you to a special level of suffering. I bring this up near the Holidays since those times bring family members together. When family members […] The post The Threat of Family Affairs appeared first on Survive Your Partner's Affair BLOG ..read more

Recovering from an affair requires tremendous strength, resilience, and a deep commitment to healing and rebuilding trust. In the midst of this process, it’s important for you to take the time to explore the underlying reasons that led to the affair. Understanding the root problem behind the affair can pave the way for long-lasting recovery […] The post Understanding the Root Problem Behind an Affair appeared first on Survive Your Partner's Affair BLOG ..read more

Are you struggling to like your spouse after their affair? Trust is often the main concern expressed by couples, but it’s also important to learn ways of liking your spouse again. In this post, we will explore this topic and provide helpful tips to remove roadblocks to liking and rekindle affection.   One major roadblock […] The post Overcoming Resentment appeared first on Survive Your Partner's Affair BLOG ..read more