“The question isn’t whether or not we’ve experienced trauma. The question is, ‘What is my trauma, and how does it affect my life now?'” This is one of those life-defining quotes you stumble upon every once in a great while, and it comes from Ryan Soave – trauma therapist, breathworker, and Director of Program Development at All Points North Lodge. When we take on dysfunctional habits in ourselves or our clients, it’s easy to fight for symptom reduction and behavior modification. After all, those outcomes will keep them sober, clean, regulated, and out of legal trouble. The issue, though, is th ..read more

Do you love lists, check boxes, and schedules? Sure, it keeps us on track with the detailed stuff in our lives. But does it mean that we have giant ozone sized holes where the important things are concerned? Lists keep us organized and they are attractive because it is a logical and analytical way of tackling the job at hand. They are nice, neat, and efficient because they are linear. You can track progress and it feels oh so satisfying when we check each item off. But what if that’s distracting you from the big stuff? The kind of stuff that involves emotions and is messy, disorganized, and ne ..read more

As we survey the present COVID-19 landscape, one thing is clear; the most vulnerable are once again being disproportionately affected. So many of us work and serve people who struggle to cope under the best of times, and during this time of social isolation they may spiral downward. In addition to this, the news feeds us a cycle of fear and uncertainty and we are bombarded by the emotional energy of everyone around us. If you’re having trouble maintaining your own balance let alone helping your clients, I don’t blame you! But I’m here to share an important message for you, regardless of whethe ..read more

…to all the amazing counselors, therapists, mentors and guides out there. In the short span of 6 months that I’ve been writing these posts, I’ve heard from many of you all over the country. Some of you come from correctional facilities, others from faith-based organizations, and still others from community centers. In addition, you work with a wide variety of age groups and issues, but there is one thing in common, and that’s your deep desire to help those you work with lead a productive and fulfilling life. All your attention and focus is on those you serve. Today I would like to put the focu ..read more

Do you have clients who are struggling? Are they feeling lost and confused and cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel? These deep emotions of hopelessness or helplessness create damaging cycles of disappointment, blame and anger. How can we help them to stop digging their hole and lift their head to see the light? The key is to help them realize they are paddling upstream. Ask them to imagine for a moment that they are on a swift river. The current is moving at a brisk pace and they are in a boat paddling as hard as they can – except that the boat is pointed upstream. Instead of going w ..read more

At the dawn of the New Year, we wish each other much happiness and success. It’s no surprise why there’s much to love about success. To most of us, success is synonymous with happiness and living our full potential. Clients love it because it means they are making progress. Counselors, coaches, and therapists love it because it demonstrates they are making a positive difference. And it creates great feel good stories for the rest of us. The truth, however, is that we rarely learn during successful times. Our greatest learning opportunities come from our perceived failures. I’d like to tell you ..read more

In general there are no shortages of triggering events that effect people dealing with addiction and self-sabotaging behavior. However, the holiday season is particularly fraught with them. As addiction counselors we have our work cut out for us: help steer someone down a narrow and difficult path. However, have you considered that our continual attention to our client’s addiction, success, and at times failures may feed their addiction cycle? Consider this for a moment. When we talk to our clients, there is a huge focus on the negative impact of addiction, not only to themselves, but also the ..read more

Last month I talked about the 3 step system to help you move yourself up the emotional ladder. Step one starts with acknowledging how you feel right now. Step two, which can be the hardest, is to accept yourself as you are. When I was deep in my depression and feeling a lot of self-disgust, I had to believe that I was worthy of a better life, even though I had no external evidence for it. This is the juice you need to fire your engine and get out of your behavior cycles. And finally, step three is reaching for the next higher feeling. After reading my article last month, a reader asked how do ..read more

I was driving home after attending a networking meeting when for no particular reason I had the urge to shift lanes. The right lane meant slower traffic, which I generally avoided. On this day I followed the impulse. No sooner than I did, I saw the speed trap; a cop parked behind some bushes. This time I heeded that still, small voice. Too many times I ignored it. Sounds familiar? When we are in the throes of addiction we disconnect ourselves from that inner voice that always guides us back home to self-love. According to master teacher Abraham Hicks, by training yourself to move up your Emoti ..read more

Many of us are familiar with the principle of the Law of Attraction – that which you focus on is what you’ll create in your life. Some of us may even practice a version of it to create our desired life. However, how many of us have given thought to the idea that cycles of addiction (drugs, food, sex, or even undesirable thoughts and impulses) are evidence of the Law of Attraction powerfully at work? The basis of the principle, as explained by Abraham in the book Law of Attraction by Jerry and Ester Hicks, states that when we give our attention to something and anticipate it with strong emotion ..read more