Why You Can’t Call My Children Mixed Photo by Eric O. IBEKWEM on Unsplash Why You Can’t Call My Children Mixed.  “Were you making a cake?” my grandmother asked me after she heard me refer to my children as “mixed.” She gazed at me with a grin on her face, her head cocked to the side, and one hand on her hip. I knew that look. I had seen it all my life. She had just finished teaching me another life lesson. And she had done it in less than 5 words. She was just waiting for me to catch up. My grandmother, a retired community college professor, was a world-class teacher. Her best lessons wer ..read more

Photo by Maksym Kaharlytskyi on Unsplash QUITTERS Never Win. Why do we teach our kids this? I know I’ve said something similar to my kids probably a dozen or more times in their short lives. And while it is important we teach our kids to persevere through adversity somehow our society got to the point that quitting is always bad and should be avoided at all costs.  What about quitting something that doesn’t create joy for you? What about quitting a bad relationship? What about quitting something you just aren’t good at and have little to no hope of ever being good at? I’m not suggesting t ..read more

The last time I saw Diya was 4 years ago on the campus of the community college we both attended.  Diya walked into the coffee shop where I was updating my resume and searching for a job in my field. From where I was sitting at a back table at the coffee shop I could see everyone that walked in easily, but they couldn’t see me without looking around.  She walked directly to the counter to place her order. Her back still towards the table I was sitting at.  We Go Way Back! She and I had had only one class together. I think she dropped it in the first week. When I would stil ..read more

Photo by August de Richelieu from Pexels By now most families with school-age children are participating in distance learning. Based on my social media timelines it appears plenty of parents are struggling with it too. Here are a few things that I’ve tried and have worked well in my home to support my kids’ learning (and my sanity). While some of these tips are probably better suited for kids who are at least in the 4th grade (or above) many families will still find something to help with their distance learners. *Some of the links included in this post are affiliate links. This ..read more

“Why you looking at me like you want to hit me?” I asked as she walked towards me. “Because I was!!!” she replied with a smirk on her face.  “You mean you want to.” I replied as she set her bag on the bartop next to me. She tossed back, “I would if I wanted to” then socked me in the shoulder with her tiny fist. I laughed as I reflexively rubbed my shoulder where she had hit me.  Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com I was sitting in a cafe writing when the mother of my children walked in. Besides not expecting to see her here she was also walking towards me with this intense l ..read more

The Anti-Racist Etiquette Guide: 7 Tips on How You Can be a Better Ally Photo by AllGo – An App For Plus Size People on Unsplash I wrote this guide because white people, friends of mine, who are anti-racist are still making cringy mistakes when trying to engage in conversations about race or racism, or for that matter just have conversations with Black people. This guide is for white people to use as a resource, but to be perfectly honest this guide is really for me and all the other Black people tired of feeling embarrassed for or embarrassed by our well-meaning white pals and coworkers who ..read more

Photo by One zone Studio on Unsplash I first met Camilla at my boy Morgan’s Super Bowl party.  I was standing on the patio with Morgan while he was putting ribs in the smoker. Camilla stepped out onto the patio to grab a soda and Capri Sun (for her son) from the cooler. Morgan introduced us, loud-whispering, “She fine as hell AND single!” once she went back inside. Morgan gave me the same smile all my married guy friends give me to encourage me to do what they can’t do. Probably hoping I’ll share details with them later. My married lady friends also introduce me to their single friends. I ..read more

San Francisco Supervisor Shamann Walton introduced the CAREN Act (Caution Against Racially Exploitative Non-Emergencies) last week. The act is a proposed county ordinance that would make discriminatory calls to the police illegal. On the surface, this appears like a common-sense law to respond to the increasingly publicized attempted “lynchings by cops.” Calls to the police made by white Americans to punish, harm, or attempt to kill Black people using police as the weapon.  Amy “Karen/CAREN” Cooper Unless you’ve been living under a rock you know about white dogwalker Amy Cooper calling t ..read more