It happened again. Another grocery store encounter - the fourth one I’ve had. This time, I was headed to check out with last-minute goodies for Christmas noshing. Instead of turning right to stand in line, I turned left for a box of Cheez-Its. Extra toasty. My son’s favorite. Mine, too, as evidenced by the orange crumbs on my mouth as I write this. Next to the array of cheesy flavors was a big rolling cart stacked with boxes. A man unpacked them, putting bags of potato chips on the shelves. Strong looking guy. Bright eyes. A vendor. I had never seen him before. We were both trapped next to hi ..read more

It was the least Christmassy Christmas I had known. The only decorations were a three-foot tree a friend dropped off and cards that lined my parents’ mantel. I had gone there nearly three weeks earlier when I got the call. “It’s Dad,” Mom said, sounding like she would break. “He’s in the hospital with pneumonia.” It was a sure death sentence for an 82-year-old with pulmonary fibrosis. I flew out immediately. And though Dad eventually, miraculously, recovered, the damage to his lungs was substantial. We brought him home to live out his final weeks, a homecoming that was its own miracle, anothe ..read more

Before the rush of Thanksgiving week (or during, or after), take a few minutes to really know thanks-giving in a new way. In this podcast, the wonderful Allison Byxbe asked me all the right questions to unpack this powerful practice I have studied and done for years. I am here to tell you that real thanks-giving makes good times better and brutal times bearable. Studies back me up on this. Give a listen to really get in the mood for Thanksgiving and to live more fully beyond. And share this with friends and family so they'll get the benefits, too. The podcast starts with an intro and then this ..read more

This is the most deeply meaningful and creative gift I’ve ever heard of. We call it 60 for 60 and here’s how it works - in case you want to do something similar for someone you love. On the day I turned 60 a few weeks ago, Hubs gave me this cheeky journal so I wouldn't forget a single thing. Every day for 60 days, I record the little gift he gives me, and write the clue he created that leads me to the real gift - a special way of connecting with someone, which was exactly what I wanted for my 60th birthday. Intentional connection. Hubs made it 60 ways for my 60th year. I have no idea how he ..read more

I’ll never say no to travel, but I’m not into last-minute, surprise trips. And, it turns out, that’s a good thing. A surprise means missing out on the fun of anticipating carefree days and scouring menus and reviews, planning where we might eat, where the best beach is, and finding insider tips on hotels and things to do. It's like the best kind of anticipatory treasure hunt. As I recently packed for a family vacation, the mundane and hard - the things I wanted to escape for a while - began to slip away. When my carry-on was closed and the alarm set for an early morning departure, it was li ..read more

This wasn’t just any wedding. It was a wedding made of miracles. Long before this joyful celebration, the mother of the groom, had to first survive a brutal attack in Africa and then, with third-degree burns, walk for months to get to safety. With the boy who would become the groom, her other children, and a newborn in tow. And no money. It was a wedding that required creativity and incredible resourcefulness for the same mother to earn enough money to bring her children to the U.S. as refugees, to land here in North Carolina, and then to learn a new language and culture they knew nothing abo ..read more

There is so much suffering on this spinning blue ball. Brutality. Betrayal. Infidelity. War. Illness that strips ability. Death and the wave of destruction it sometimes leaves. An assault on the mind or body or spirit. The pain of bearing witness to a child who veers off course in her own unfortunate way. What’s the point of this suffering, especially when it happens to one of the good ones? Why doesn’t it happen to the shooter planning carnage? I grapple with this question, especially at times when some of those I love face life’s most trying circumstances. I wish I had an answer to the w ..read more

I think about him when I’m out walking and I wave and smile to strangers driving past. Most don’t wave back which used to bother me a bit. But Johnny Barnes changed that. For more than 30 years, he spent most weekday mornings in the middle of Bermuda’s busiest roundabout, Crow Lane Circle. His arms waved in perpetual motion to passing commuters, school kids, and tourists on vacation. He blew kisses and shouted rapid-fire I love you’s to every person. For six hours a day, rain or shine, with only Christmas or sick days off, he was there. I met Johnny nearly thirty years ago when I was a trav ..read more

He was an extraordinarily sweet kid. Only six years old, but already he’d had a lifetime of hard. The stuff no child should experience. John was the beloved nephew of my old friend. She and her husband spent as much time with him as they could, trying to give him the stability and love his troubled mom and absent father couldn’t. They’d have taken him in if his mother would have allowed it. But she wouldn’t. She couldn’t get out of her own way. Or her boy’s. One Christmas, the aunt and uncle put their heads together and when the big day arrived, they handed John their one gift to him. No doub ..read more

Fascinating stuff here as we slide toward our annual day of thanks. Researchers have found that people who practice daily gratitude live longer, are healthier, happier, they have better relationships, and they’re more productive in the workplace. They have deeper faith, do more good in the world, and are less stressed. So why aren’t we doing more of this thanks-giving? It’s all about our brains, which work against us in this way. They are hard wired from way back to be slick like Teflon for positive events and sticky like Velcro for negative. In caveman days, this helped us survive, but in mo ..read more