Today, I felt a lot like giving up. I don’t feel I’m where I “should” be in life and today it just got too heavy to carry. For those that know me intimately, you know that I struggle every day going to work. I don’t enjoy what I do and I don’t feel fulfilled by it. I look for any excuse to call in some days and I feel terrible about that. I’ve looked for ways to create joy in job, but I haven’t been successful. I don’t know how I missed it but today I realized that it truly was time to give up. I don’t mean throw in the towel on life. It’s time to give up trying to control the outcome of where ..read more

I’m usually a worrier. I’m the stressed out person. I take on way too much and then later feel overwhelmed. My anxiety sets in and now I’m doing breathing exercises to try to keep my head from spinning and feel like I have control. Hate is a strong word but I’m going to use it here. I hate this feeling! It consumes me and it drives me crazy that I can’t seem to stop it. And then I hear my advice to others playback in my head. I often find myself telling others that it’s okay to just be. Existing is all we’re capable of sometimes, and that’s okay. We don’t always have the energy, stamina or men ..read more

We made a list! Check out the Top 75 Faith Blogs list! If you’re needing inspiration, devotionals, or just to get the feeling of walking into Mardel while you’re quarantined, check out the other blogs on this list. You won’t be disappointed ..read more

Amidst all of this icky virus, are still some wonderful things to celebrate. My daughters are celebrating their 4th and 5th birthdays and I’m turning 30 (today actually). I’ve been a little bummed because these are events we want to share with our friends and family but are unfortunately unable to do so as we’re prioritizing everyone’s health. We do plan to celebrate once this is all over, but honestly, who knows when that will be. Because of the uncertainty, and probably this milestone change of turning 30, I’m realizing more and more how precious time is. I just had my soon to be 5 year old ..read more

Have you ever had an uncontrollable urge to do something vastly different than your norm? It almost feels like a need and you can’t shake it. You go to bed, toss and turn, and then wake to feel the same way. Or maybe you go about your day pushing the desire down, but find that everything seems to encourage this new “feeling.” You’re restless and I’m right there with you. It’s been a long journey to self-discovery. The more I learn about what doesn’t bring me joy, it seems the further I am from finding my true self. I’ll be totally honest with you. There have been times I’ve wanted to give up ..read more

After our usual morning greetings, I ask my daughters, “What do you want to wear today?” Most days the answer is the same. I can’t fault my girls. They’re simply copying what they see wear, which is a dress at least 6 out of 7 days. This isn’t always practical. I then have to persuade, and sometimes coerce, them into wearing pants. It’s really hard for them to understand doing anything outside their comfort zone. For a brief moment, they fail to trust me. I imagine this is how we appear before Christ. We ask for something “simple” and are met with a differing decision, and for a moment our tru ..read more

I know, I know. You’re looking at the name of the blog and thinking the worst. Before I better understood what a hippie was, I thought the same. Especially as a black woman, this just isn’t a word we use to describe ourselves very often. So the first time someone referred to me as hippie, I took it really hard. I couldn’t understand how they looked at me and saw that. That was 7 years ago, and since then I’ve really come to understand just how right they were. Allow me to help you see the connection. Hippie – a person of unconventional appearance, typically having long hair, associated with a ..read more

“You’re a pink Starburst. Don’t ever let anyone treat you any different.” T.H. (A personal friend) I often describe myself as a unicorn in a field full of horses. I’ve always struggled to find my “fit.” I’ve looked for different careers thinking that was the answer. I’ve been a part of different churches, thinking surely that was the problem. In the end, I was my own roadblock. I expected to look, think, and act like ever other Christian while still trying to be relevant enough to get invited to the “cool kid’s” table. It took me almost 30 years, 3 kids, and 1 divorce later, to realize that t ..read more