When post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in veterans goes untreated, it doesn’t just go away or fix itself. It becomes a chronic, far-reaching part of people’s lives, families, and communities. The chances of PTSD lingering and wreaking silent havoc are high, and often people don’t even realize they’re dealing with a chronic, progressive disease that can be effectively treated. Everyone hurts, but no one knows what to do about it. Chronic PTSD occurs when symptoms last for three or more months after someone experiences trauma. However, I’ve seen PTSD symptoms last for years. The number of ve ..read more

Extensive research shows that veterans’ PTSD and domestic violence often go hand-in-hand to terrorize families already desperately trying to survive. Whether they’re perpetrators or victims, war veterans with PTSD experience significantly more violence in their homes than civilians who don’t have PTSD. For many veterans’ wives, the numbers reflect the truth we may have been living for years: In 43 percent of veteran couples in one study, men reported abusive behavior toward their partners. In another study, 55 percent of military couples dealing with PTSD reported some kind of physical alterc ..read more

When it comes to my veteran husband’s PTSD, there’s one symptom that haunts him more than the others. It follows him into his dreams and pounces without warning. Some nights it’s all he can talk about. What hurts him the most is his survivors’ guilt. “Two [of his friends] were lost in Iraq, and the other two were killed in Afghanistan. When that last one went down, it just undid him.” Susan Selke, mother of a veteran with survivors‘ guilt Survivors’ guilt is like someone using their own empathy as a weapon against themselves. Timothy J. Legg, a geriatric and psychiatric mental health nurse pr ..read more

Even though 48 to 55 percent of people with PTSD also have depression, little is known about why the two disorders are so closely related and how they change over time. If you’re married to a veteran with PTSD and depression, this is the last thing you want to hear. You want answers. You want to know how these co-occurring conditions are connected, what all this means for you as a veteran’s spouse, and what you can do to cope and support your partner. The Relationship Between PTSD and Depression The relationship between PTSD and depression is complex and little understood, but there are a few ..read more

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Like alcoholism, I think of PTSD as a family disease. Already, I’ve seen it take root in my young family as PTSD continues to haunt my veteran husband. Unfortunately, though, few studies have focused on veterans’ spouses, and even fewer have explored the ways parents’ PTSD affects their children. This is an issue that needs and deserves more attention because trauma can also be intergenerational, a sickness that gradually infects the whole family. Parents’ PTSD Symptoms and Their Children When parents have PTSD, their symptoms don’t play out in a vacuum. They affect everyone around them, and c ..read more

Being married to a veteran with PTSD isn’t always a smooth ride. My own marriage has been scarred by depression, secondary trauma, and alcoholism, but I’ll be honest with you: these problems weren’t always my husband’s fault. I dragged plenty of my own humanness into this relationship. That being said, I love being a veteran’s spouse. This is why. 1. My Husband Is a Badass My husband is a badass, and most people don’t even know it. When confrontation starts smoldering, he gets quiet and withdraws if he has the chance. People who don’t know him mistake this for fear, which is only partially tru ..read more

Even though 48 to 55 percent of people with PTSD also have depression, little is known about why the two disorders are so closely related and how they change over time. If you’re married to a veteran with PTSD and depression, this is the last thing you want to hear. You want answers. You want to know how these co-occurring conditions are connected, what all this means for you as a veteran’s spouse, and what you can do to cope and support your partner. The Relationship Between PTSD and Depression The relationship between PTSD and depression is complex and little understood, but there are a few ..read more

I’m married to a veteran, and I’m pissed. I’m stuffed with so much anger that I don’t know what to do with it. Until recently, I didn’t even know it was there. I’m pissed because my husband was damaged long before I met him, and it didn’t have to be that way. He was so young, and he got lied to. Now it’s too late, and nothing can be done about it because it’s all a big secret. I’m pissed because I’ve been lied to, and no one seems to notice how much it hurts. No one notices how much I’ve changed, how much I can’t trust them anymore, how much my face has hardened. I’m not the same woman I used ..read more

His eyes turned black like fear. I didn’t want to get too close. Every once in a while, he seemed startled to see me beside him, as if he weren’t sure who I was or what I meant to do to him. That night, he cried. He raged. He watched his friends die in his head all over again. I tried to bring him back, but I couldn’t. All I could do was wait for the episode to run its course. If you’re married to a combat vet, there’s a good chance you can relate. Flashbacks in veterans are a common problem that soldiers and their spouses must learn how to deal with. 14.6 percent of ex-POWs in one study repor ..read more