Welcome to Grand Advice, where we answer questions from real grandparents. Today’s answer comes from Cynthia G. Kane, Founder, of It's Their Turn: Wisdom for Grandparents. Our daughter and her husband have very strict rules. We can’t take our 2-year-old grandson for a walk in the stroller without a parent accompanying us, can’t take him to see the ducks in the neighborhood pond even if holding him, can’t let him practice climbing on the stairs even if we are carefully standing behind him. The frustrating thing is that these are all things they do with him, but don’t allow us to do. It’s becom ..read more

Doreen was babysitting her four-year-old granddaughter on a beautiful summer day. They were working in the garden when Judy’s son-in-law, Ryan arrived to pick up his daughter. He was horrified to see his child crouched in the dirt in her bare feet, stabbing at the earth with a spade. He couldn’t help losing his temper: had Judy not realize the child could have hacked off a toe? Or picked up a parasitic disease from being barefoot in the soil? He was still upset with her a week later, when the family gathered for a birthday party. It’s a tale as old as time: trouble with the in-laws. Perhaps ..read more

Cindy’s grandchildren live in another country and visit just once a year. The two weeks they spend together are the highlight of her year. Yet when they are gone, the shift to her old routine seems abrupt and painful. Denise has cared for her grandson three days a week since he was a month old. Now he’s starting kindergarten, and suddenly her days are long and empty. Janice and Carl’s daughter and her family lived just four blocks away until a new job took them across the country. The hole they’ve left in behind seems unfillable. Though their situations are all different, these grandparents a ..read more

Today’s post is for parents, though it’s a valuable read for grandparents, too! We regularly get messages and emails from parents beginning, “How do I tell my parents that… …it upsets me when they refer to my baby as their baby?” …the kids are scared of them when they are so gruff?” …we want to be the one to experience our baby’s firsts?” …we don’t want them to buy so many toys for our child?” …their comments about our child’s eating habits have to stop?” These are just a few of the many issues parents have asked for help with. While we try to answer the messages when we can, it’s not always ..read more

By Richard Eisenberg, guest blogger One of the best things a new grandparent can do for your grandchild is to invest for their future. Not only will this be a lovely gift now, but it may also be a huge help down the road if your grown child could use assistance paying for your grandchild’s college tuition. College financing expert Mark Kantrowitz noted on the “Friends Talk Money” podcast I co-host that there’s a huge advantage to investing for the eventual college bills of your grandchild while they’re very young. If you start saving for your grandchild’s future at birth, he said, about a thi ..read more

Candace and her ex-husband have been divorced since their youngest child finished high school. They’ve managed to maintain a civil relationship—mostly by avoiding situations where they have to be together. But now that they share a grandchild, there are regular occasions where they must interact. Candace admits the hardest part is knowing that her ex’s new partner is also a grandmother to her grandchild. “I know I’m being petty and unreasonable, but I can’t shake this jealousy that she gets to share my grandchild’s affection.” Candace isn’t alone: most people in similar situations feel varyin ..read more

Spring is the perfect time to read and learn about nature. Books are a simple way to help grandparents share the wonders of this glorious season with your grandchildren. We’ve read dozens of books to find the ones we think are the most fun to read, both for adults and kids. We aim for books that will appeal to ages 2-5, though many of these will also engage both younger and older children. There are several non-fiction titles included. While we sometimes thing of non-fiction as being boring, it’s highly appealing to young children who are just learning about the world. The following picture ..read more

Candace was seven months pregnant with her second child when her husband announced that he’d fallen in love with a coworker and wanted a divorce. Suddenly, instead of preparing for the shift from one child to two, she was facing life as a single mom. “I truly don’t think I could have done it without my parents to help me,” she said. “They were there for me emotionally, financially, and physically.” Candace was lucky to have parents she could rely on. If your child were in the same position, could they count on you? Here are some suggestions to make sure they can.   What to say if your ad ..read more

Welcome to Grand Advice, where we answer questions from real grandparents. Today’s answer comes from Cynthia G. Kane, Founder, of It's Their Turn: Wisdom for Grandparents. I watch my grandkids, ages 1 & 3, full time for my daughter & son in law. They pay me a very small amount. My daughter doesn’t want to put them in daycare because it’s costly, plus they can’t attend daycare because they are unvaccinated. I love my grandbabies dearly, but I am a disabled person with mobility issues. The truth is I don’t want to be responsible for being a childcare provider. I’ve expressed myself to m ..read more

What is a step-grandparent? Technically, it’s a grandparent related by marriage but not by blood. You can become a step-grandparent in many ways. You might marry late in life to someone who has grandchildren, or raise step-children who go on to have kids. Or you might have a child who marries someone with children. In all these cases, you are considered a step-grandparent. With the exception of raising step-children who go on to have children, becoming a step-grandparent usually means that you are a relative newcomer in a child’s life. Family dynamics are complicated, and when a child is invo ..read more