Âûtism awareness, acceptance Month is upon us again. Every April we see posts, blogs etc raising awareness, acceptance. Yet still many need understanding. My approach this year is meant to be satirical, aimed at highlighting just how many autistics and their families are repeatedly let down. It’s easy to jest but in reality. Why are so many let down? Why are so many not heard, not listened to? Not believed!! Nothing contained within this is to be copied in any part, large or small without the express written consent of the author. All scenarios mentioned did happen/ are happening within my lo ..read more

Many will of personally experienced the words said by those with no experience of Autism, additional Needs or Neurodiversity. “They don’t look autistic!” “What’s their special skill?” “So like rain man!” “They can’t be autistic, they can…… smile/talk/laugh/……” insert words here I’ve even heard that autistics have certain facial or build characteristics- akin to Minecraft. It’s a good job most with experience of Autism have very thick skin. In these situations I see it as a chance to educate the uneducated, the ignorant and the plain rude. My reaction will be determined by yours! “So ..read more

Something I learnt several years ago. “It’s ok to do something for myself” Looking after yourself when you have children can be hard, finding time for yourself when you have additional needs and children with additional needs- can be nigh impossible!! Getting the right balance between myself, my needs, children’s needs, and Family is always an uphill struggle. We use daily, weekly and monthly visual planners. I need to plan in advance in order to ensure I make time for me to avoid burnout. Yes there are times I get it wrong, but don’t think I’m not trying or haven’t noticed. Just because ..read more

After a different, harder than normal Christmas, mine go back to school Tuesday. This Christmas has been much more noticeable on my sons struggles, than his eldest diagnosed sister. From exploding cooker doors to unwiped bottoms in pungent pants. Definitely noting so many struggles for my son. Things we’ve not noticed before, his short term working memory definitely struggles more with more than 1 instruction at a time, yet he’s above average academically, likely fast visual processing. His listening difficulties definitely appearing more like APD- Auditory Processing Disorder. I’ve spoke ..read more

I do what I do to support vulnerable families who don’t always know their rights, or may have their own needs. I know from experience the stress families with additional needs children are under. The wait for: Services. Assessments. Meetings. Appointments. Paperwork. Reports. Waiting lists. Hoping you meet a stupid criteria to avert a crisis, no one gets how hard it is to actually ask for help. Then, if you don’t feel listened too, you start to believe that it’ll never get better. Or you start to doubt yourself. Never doubt yourself! Took me 9 years to be heard! Yes, 9 years!!! It took movin ..read more

This is so true. Most autistics hate the functionality labels. Just because someone looks FINE, doesn’t mean they are. One of the most common FINE examples is school. “But they’re fine in school!- must be you’re parenting- there’s nothing wrong- there’s nothing we can do- we’re going to punish his struggles- we’re going to put them in isolation- we’re going to force her into school, she’s fine then!” Any child / young person melting down or shutting down after school is not “typical”. Holding it in / together for 6 hours is torture. It’s a shadow of who you are, too afraid to be yourself i ..read more

No matter how many families I support, by far the biggest common factor is schools not understanding masking; more worryingly it’s those that don’t even want to know/ learn. “The finer a child is in school, and the worse the meltdowns after school are, the more they’re masking.” Common Misconceptions “But they’re fine in school…..there’s nothing wrong…..schools not the problem, it’s home!” “It’s not our problem…” “It’s an attachment issue!” “You just need to be firmer!” If they were struggling, they’d tell us! “No-ones that good an actor!” Only girls mask! All these and more, are phrases ..read more

So many times I hear from parents and professionals that a child is “fine” in school! Being “fine” is often an autistic child blending, masking and copying peers in an exhausting attempt to “fit in”. We are not “fine!” Parents know their children. Just because they appear to cope in school and then explode is usually due to unmet needs in school, it’s NOT a parenting issue. Unmet needs could be sensory, not understanding the teacher, the work, trying not to be distracted, trying to focus, being afraid to be different or stand out. We are not fine! I went through this for over 10 years to get ..read more