And she's off. Ten hours away. Officially a Tar Heel. The hole in our home and our lives is palpable. And measurable. "How many plates?" The boy asked tonight, after we coaxed him to set the table. "Just five," I said. He left her spot empty, like a missing man formation.  We know she's just embarked on a great adventure: College. What an amazing rite of passage we have. We’re excited for her. Truly. But it is hard for us. For 18 years we woke her and fed her and loved her as best we could. Which wasn’t always enough. Now, we’ve set her free.  Some worry whether their kid is ready fo ..read more

The PVC pipe rolled away, the tarp flattened, and a few hundred gallons of water began flowing toward the boy and I, our hands drenched, freezing, desperately trying to hold back the flood. “Fuck!” I cursed out loud. Failure. The big, dumb project had failed. Have you ever had an idea that got stuck in your craw and you just had to get it out? That’s exactly how I found myself trying to build a backyard ice rink. I’d thought about it for years, and would often Google cost for kits that are sold to do such a thing, like E-Z Ice. But those kits are expensive with mixed reviews. And we do not hav ..read more

When you’ve written a blog for as long as I have, there are several crowning moments. Like the time I passed a guy in a stairwell and he looked at me and yelled, “RUDDYBITS!” Or when I was in the local grocery store, and a mom who was friends with my sister came up and told me she enjoyed my blog. That was shortly after I’d written about my child barfing in that same store, so it caused mixed emotions. Undoubtably, the top “accomplishments” that stand out for me over the past 9 (holy crap) years are getting to write for the Washington Postand that ski trip to Gore almost 5 years ago that a mag ..read more

The dad stood atop the tallest ski hill in the east, 4386 feet above sea level, looking out at the surrounding mountains and down a steep slope of white. It’s one of those views that make you say, holy crap, I’m on a mountain. Then he turned to his kids and lowered his goggles. “Alright, we’re gonna take our time, it for eachother, and stick together,” he said. “We got this.” And off they went. I turned to my kids and could see the concern in their eyes. “What he said,” I muttered with a less cool lowing of my goggles. It was our only trip to the top of Whiteface Mountain. Accomplished thanks ..read more

There’s a theory out there that claims the side of the head a man parts his hair on says all you need to know about his personality, his potential in life, and his success. I heard about this “hair part theory” recently on a podcast, which is the new reading. It used to be that some schmo would have to write something down so others could begin sentences with, “I read recently that” blankety-blank. And then all the rest of us would automatically give it credence because the schmo wrote it down. Now, all anyone needs to do is say it out loud and everyone who hears them gets to begin sentences ..read more

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be a cocktail meatball, I think I know. Let me start again. My kids and I have a little game I call, “What are the chances of that happening?” It’s not so much a game as a question I always ask after something random and highly unlikely happens. It’s a game because it has a set answer. No matter the actual odds, we always say, “100 Percent.” It’s a dad thing. Last weekend, however, something happened that was so unlikely that… One more try. I’ll just say what happened. Here goes. On Saturday morning, I was driving my daughter to get the bus ..read more

I have no evidence about the existence of an afterlife, but I can confirm that Hell is hot. Really hot. And sweaty. And there’s lots of grumpy, arguing people. All of whom I’m related to, apparently. This past week, my family and I completed our annual pilgrimage to Hilton Head. The day after we got there, the air conditioning in our minivan went kaput. It just so happened that this southern vacation destination that we’ve visited annually the past few years was also experiencing a warmer than usual stretch. The typical high temperature this time of year is about 90 degrees. Each day beat th ..read more

Down he fell again, this time landing on his back. I could practically feel the rock-hard ice reverberate through his little body. Pads or not, that one had to hurt. He hesitated, worrying me that he was actually injured this time. Then he rolled over, scrambled to his feet, regained his balance, and skated on — certain to crash land again in the moments ahead. It was a cool November morning during his first hockey practice when I realized my son didn’t know how to skate. We’d gone skating before as a family over the years, a few times at the outdoor rink downtown and once or twice on a pon ..read more

“License and credit card please?” asked the uninterested woman behind the rental car counter outside JFK International Airport. This was it. I was going to cover the final 250 miles of my quest in a rental. Four hours of driving rather than waiting two days for another flight? Fine by me. I love driving. In another life, I was probably a trucker. So, no problem. Most importantly, I was going home. After four days away and serious doubts about getting back due to winter weather disrupting travel across the country, I finally had a plan that would get me to my wife and kids. I opened my wal ..read more

I was done, having had no luck all day. I’d changed flies, tried different techniques, added weight to sink the midge lower in the water, taken weight off to let another float along the top. I’d matched the hatch and turned to my trusty never fail. I’d thrown everything in the bag at them over several hours. And nothing. The kicker: it was a crystal-clear day on my favorite river, and I could see fish all around me. But they weren’t taking what I was serving. Situations like this remind me of my favorite W.C. Fields quote: “If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's ..read more