This coming Wednesday will mark four weeks since my hysterectomy. It has been a long journey coming – this hysterectomy and with all the ailments that I had experienced over the last 20 years, including low grade cervical cancer, I could not have been happier seeing my uterus ripped out and put in the bin. That said, I am grateful that these organs allowed me to birth my two sons. They are the joys and absolute headaches of my life. I would (like most mothers I am sure) take a bullet for them and they always know that sanctuary of any sort will always be home for them. But a hysterectomy at 37 ..read more

It's been a bad day.  Not a travesty, but a day of anxiety, overload of emotions, countless puffs from many a ciggies and all in all just a bleh.  Where the fuck has 2020 gone? How did we get from free world to lockdown and oppressions and wearing masks???? I  burnt my 2020 planner, close with my 2020 diary, because why the fuck, hey? Let's just write this year off as a mistake on a humanity scale and start fresh in 2021.  Funnily enough, I bought a $4 2021 diary. So there may be hope. My beloved is struggling. Which  means that I am struggling, Seeing him in pain, n ..read more

  “Run. Run and don’t look back.” These were the words of a very accomplishment psychiatrist which I attended for a session at the request of my Mother. My parents had been going to counselling sessions there and she had asked if either of their daughters was willing to come for a session so that she may explore a child’s perspective of the dynamics of our family. My sister declined. She avoids conflict wherever possible and hold all her cards remarkably close to her heart. I have only seen her lose her shit perhaps a couple of times whereas I on the other hand, bare my heart and soul on ..read more

This post will most likely be banned on any social media accounts I share to. Censorship has been coming in hard and clear – even more so in the past few months. While I have been indulging myself in all seasons of Gossip Girl, Tiger King and Real Housewives of Anywhere, I have also been digging deep with the help of some like minded souls into Science Censorship, Liberty stealing and heart wrenching conformance that has been occurring around the globe. In many ways, 2020 for my little family has been positive. Deleting the last few days of a polar blast over the southern states of Australia b ..read more

It is just before 6am as I sit here on my back porch watching the sun slowly rise for another day. What day is it? #isolyf has got me all confused to the day, date and month. With so many of us wishing and wanting “more time”, I have found myself getting bored of being bored and the motivation bug seems to come in slower and less frequently. How the world has changed in the unprecedented times, hey? It seems that here in #straya, we have quickly adapted to the powers that be and in the matter of weeks have become accustomed to the lack of interaction and movement. Does that concern you? How q ..read more

It's quite ironic that I decided a few weeks ago to ease myself into the fad of meal planning. I was so sick of thinking of ideas of meals of what to make and Steve was no help as when i asked him,"what you want for dinner?" his answer was always" whatever you want". Grrrrrrrrrrr - uncommitted. So one afternoon with a cup of some alcoholic description, i went into my think tank which is my brain, and wrote down my repertoire of meals that i know how to make.  Now this will look different for every household. After scribbling away for some minutes, I realised that i actually can make quite a va ..read more

I had to delete Facebook off my phone. The last couple of weeks was a rabbit warren hole of doom and gloom, everybody sharing their thoughts on #COVID_19, constantly Googling "coronavirus australia" and watching the minute by minute up on all the news sites, from everywhere.  What the fuck did we all talk about before Coronavirus?  Life?  Bullshit? And now, in these unprecedented times, it seems that our world has shrunk physically as well as emotionally. I had to stop feeding the beast because the because was consuming every aspect of my daily life.  I'm on day two without Facebook. To be hon ..read more

One of the things (and there are only a few) that I miss living in the busy suburbs of Melbourne, is fresh cut flower. I used to at the very least, fortnightly, drive to my favourite small florist and get my little hands on a mixed variety of colourful vase holding delights. The desert makes it hard for a novice green thumb like I to grow my own. The farm plot that we own has a high salinity content in the soil which means a bit of work is needed in making up the correct soil with the correct goodness and ph. levels to sustain a colourful flower bed. I do admit however, that since our move to ..read more

I was awoken early this morning by my gorgeous adopted Lara. She was barking to go for a little wee. It must have been about 3am and i stumbled out of bed, walked into the wardrobe doors, caught my foot on the edge of the bed frame and smashed into the bedroom door. Damage is a sore foot, bruised shoulder and an ego a little shattered that i no longer have extra magical orientation skills in the pitch dark.  So wobbling and hobbling to the coffee machine this morning - the standard ritual with a dose of anti depressant, i walked my feel sorry for myself little bod and commenced the daily ritua ..read more

I made a resolution this year to make no new years resolution. So far, so good. Planning and excel spreadsheets and lists – straight out the window. In times when those things should have helped, they didn’t – so out with the “be in control of every single thing, even the future that you cannot control, god damn it” and in with the “ what will be, will be, who the fuck cares anyway, just let it all go – mantra” Well someone forget to tell my closer to 40 than 30 year old body that there was a change in the status quo. The brain switch changed to ce la vie, and the body has turned into an absol ..read more