Here I was again, new place, new people, no money no security, and wondering when in the world would this nightmare I called my life would end. Peace River, Alberta is a beautiful place nestled in a Valley. I could not deny its beauty, but of course I was to see its hidden ugliness as well. Simply because, my world was shrouded in untreated mental illness and complicated issues, it was natural to me to seek out others like me. I remember we had to cross the road to get to the car and I was wearing these worn down wooden clogs that were very slippery on the road. The inevitable happened, I spr ..read more

Tammy: Mom and I did have a relationship, but it formed over her pill use. She would give me pills to get high. I was 18 and that was the first time I tried to commit suicide. I used her pills.She found me slumped down, in front of my bedroom. I didn’t make it to my room before the pills took over. I was taken to the hospital and had my stomach pumped. They asked me were I got the pills, I told them from the street, and they said ok and sent me home. They didn’t even ask me if I tried to commit suicide, I was so upset, because this just confirmed for me that my life was worthless! Why, did I a ..read more

During my life I had struggled with depression but nothing could prepare me for what I was about to go through. I do not think I was aware how much the effects of the trauma that occurred during my younger years had on me. I thought that I had dealt with all the issues. I did not realize that abuse has far reaching impacts that can be so deep, they do not surface until later in life. Perhaps it was my minds way of protecting itself against pain I was not ready to deal with. A pivotal moment for me was when my boss had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and had only a few months to live. This ..read more

Tyra: I had left off with divine intervention. That segment played on my mind for days on how to put it into words to make it understandable for everyone. Having a visit from a spirit is kind of unbelievable but knowing things prior to them happening is even more unbelievable. This is a topic close to my heart, as who would not know what will happen in the future. The only problem with knowing what will happen you usually do not know the time or the date that it will occur. You just have to trust that it will happen at the right time and the right place. I recall my old boyfriend telling me “y ..read more

May contain content that is triggering for some, self first. Tyra: Looking back through the years it is difficult for my sister and I to remember a Christmas that wasn’t plagued with addiction and abuse. This is true for the Christmas that we will talk about today. People always say that Christmas is for the children and not really for the adults in life, I think that is because the children bring the magic back into the adults life for just one time of year. Children have the excitement of santa coming to see them and all want to stay up late waiting for him to show up. children wonder if the ..read more

one of my favorite songs, has much meaning for me. Tammy: SKID ROW: A look at the brutality, and unmerciful reality of children trying to survive on the street. So there I was, dark was fast falling, had no idea what time it was, but I knew it was way past time when I should have been back at the institution checking in. I was on a subway bus with Tina, and had no idea what I was doing, or were I was going to go. I have never been on the streets before. Tina comforted me and told me not to worry she would help me. Tina was 14 years old, and I was about 14 and a half. She knew more of the world ..read more

Tammy: After leaving the last foster home, I would ever be in, we were sent back home. This was a cycle that was repeated often through out the years. I really lost count how many foster homes and receiving homes I was in over the years. For awhile things were not too bad. I was growing up fast and even made a friend, although she was much older than me. I even had a boyfriend, although he was too old for me too, but mom seemed to like him. I sure knew she liked his brother, as one time she got really drunk and tried to have sex with my boy friends brother on the couch. I was so humiliated, my ..read more

Tyra: When we moved back in with our mom we were living on Whyte Ave and just a block to my school. It was summer time and we played outside in the garage all the time, it was our fort. When life was getting too much us kids would go out there and basically hide. Mom was not very active in our lives we were a paycheck to her and that was all. She could say she loved us and I do think she did but in a very perverted way. Sleeping has become a major problem. Mom would sleep all day, would not get up to look after the young children, not saying I was old. She would just stay in her room and read ..read more

Tyra: After all my excitement of not having to go home my mind shifted to “where are we going?”. School was out and the social worker was there to pick me up, but I was the only one in the car. Where are the others? The social worker stated that I would be with them soon when we get to the office downtown. I just did not know what to expect with all this again. The physical abuse was too much for me to bare. It was affecting everything that I did. As Tammy did say, if we cried we would just get more, so instead of crying I laughed it off until I was alone in my bed. Then I cried myself to slee ..read more

Tammy: Reunion: For the first time in my life I was getting my way!! I was going to be with my sisters! I was so happy. My current foster family was sad too see me go, but they had no idea what was going on with my foster sister. My sister Tyra had already been in this foster home for a while, so it was not as uncomfortable as going some were new and alone. We only had a foster mother who was probably in her sixties, so I felt hey this wont be so bad… I was wrong, when would I ever learn. she always gave us cereal for breakfast, but the milk always tasted sour to me!! I would ask my sisters if ..read more