One theme that comes up repeatedly as I work with Pain-2-Power clients is how to understand those who caused them emotional pain.  Not infrequently, those are the people who were closest to my clients in earlier chapters of their life stories—their parents, for instance, or older siblings, or close friends.  For so many people, their true talents were not nurtured by parents, or their peace of mind was invaded by addiction in a parent, or their self-esteem was not protected when under assault by a sibling who was a bully (or worse). Frequently, my clients and I arrive at this conclusion:  The ..read more

Pain-2-Power is the way I have come to think of the journey each of us can take in life:  We can leverage the painful pages and chapters of our life stories into sources of power, so long as we wisely choose how to respond, in any situation. Faced with divorce, for instance, a person can either refuse to look at any negative patterns of emotion and behavior he brought to the relationship, or he can resolve to look at them clearly and, thereby, endeavor not repeat them.   Faced with financial decisions that resulted in losses, a person can either pretend she was unlucky, or she can search (for ..read more

The notion of the “last straw that broke the camel’s back” seems to date to a theological debate between the English philosopher Thomas Hobbes and the Christian theologian John Bramhall. It has survived through the centuries as a metaphor for the notion that a small additional burden or trauma can cause a sudden and complete collapse. When people talk about why they finally gave up—on a marriage or a business or a friendship—they often identify one last negative event or stress that seemingly made it impossible to continue moving forward. It is as though their reserves of love or courage or t ..read more

Can We Really Increase One Another’s Self-Esteem? One of the most beautiful ways we can build self-esteem is by recognizing the good we do for others.  This is something we often take for granted, but it is a miraculous outgrowth of human empathy.  We feel better about ourselves when we reduce suffering and increase contentment in people around us. Knowing this, many people volunteer to help those in need.  Many make themselves especially available to friends and loved ones for advice or support. Many select careers focused on easing people’s pain or educating them or even directly rescuing th ..read more

Years ago I wrote a series of six psychological thrillers featuring a very flawed forensic psychiatrist named Frank Clevenger. Clevenger was in deep emotional turmoil, but that was precisely the energy he drew upon to resonate with the suffering of others and render extraordinary and life changing insights—not just as he investigated crimes, but as he explored the underlying pain of many of the characters who populated the novels. I have thought about Frank Clevenger a good deal, lately, as I have faced very painful events in my own life—untrue accusations that have then been trumpeted by the ..read more

Researchers in Germany have confirmed and added new data to an amazing finding that has implications for learning.  It also points out how astoundingly powerful some natural remedies can be for memory, mood, anxiety, sleep, attention and energy. Scents are Powerful Brain Modulators Here’s the basic idea:  The brain responds to odors in very powerful ways.  Just the smell of lavender  or frankincense for example, is known to decrease anxiety.  They aren’t the only scents with that effect, and lavender oil and frankincense can also be ingested (e.g. in capsule form). But what about memory? Well ..read more

The Ablow Center offers a unique and powerful combination of life coaching and spiritual counseling.  At the same time, I have devised unique protocols of natural supplements to increase mood, reduce anxiety, increase focus and improve sleep. Prior to founding The Ablow Center I wrote several books that talked about the power of psychotherapy, sometimes combined with medications, to treat psychological suffering. They included How to Cope with Depression (co-written with the Chairman of Psychiatry at Johns Hopkins), Anatomy of a Psychiatric Illness (written for the American Psychiatric Associa ..read more

(BUT YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME) After nearly three decades helping people become powerful, I can tell you that you’re no different from the thousands of people I’ve helped to express themselves more fully and more successfully.  Your life story—including every paragraph of it—has prepared you for the next page to be the most significant one of all. What’s the key:  Recognizing that it can happen, feeling as though you deserve for it to happen and identifying the specific way in which you most want it to happen.   Pure Self-Expression Your destiny is about manifesting your purest possible form of ..read more

Beginning in 2015, I began publishing a list of ways to improve your life. Last year, as 2019 debuted, I published, “19 ways to improve your life.” The year before that, I published “18 ways to improve your life.” You get the idea. The tradition continues this year, with the addition of No. 20. And, just like last year, I’ve added bits and pieces to some of the 19 earlier items. New Year’s resolutions often lose their power so quickly and completely that they have become cliché. But there are real, easily achieved ways to positively impact your life beginning this first week of January. Here’s ..read more

A Gift from The Ablow Center this Holiday Season All human beings have to survive pages or chapters of their life stories that bring sadness, challenges to self-esteem or even questions about how to go on.  No one gets through life without such events or phases, sometimes prolonged ones.  How can these darker threads of life get woven into the fabric of our existences and still yield vibrant patterns? Writing on this topic at Christmas (or Hanukkah, for that matter) might seem odd.  After all, everyone is supposed to be celebrating the holidays and feeling joy, not dwelling on past or present ..read more