Myselfthink.com, one of Toronto’s Top 30 Blogs - https://blog.feedspot.com/toronto_blogs/# Very Dangerous. “Relax.” I heard it clear as a bell - a firm whisper that cut through the dead quiet of the night. He said it only once, but he said it so clearly. In his sleep, my husband spoke the one word that has been torturing me for months.  “Um. What?” I whispered back, my head slightly off the pillow. No response. The room remained still while my mind ramped up another notch. My feet shifted under the light summer blanket in subtle annoyance. I know what I heard. He said…relax.  Minute ..read more

Myselfthink.com, one of Toronto’s Top 30 Blogs - https://blog.feedspot.com/toronto_blogs/# It’s the last day of spring break and I’m sitting in a library alone. Read that sentence again - but slowly. Kinda sad. Just me and my computer - sitting in the library. This is new for me.  Spring break as a kid used to mean bustling airports or long road trips squabbling with my older, more cunning siblings. Maybe the occasional water park, or overcrowded ski hill. A combination of wrinkly pink tan lines or wrinkled maps, yes maps, spread across car seats like picnic blankets, waiting to serve up ..read more

(Sorry about 2022. I’m back now!) Myselfthink.com, one of Toronto’s Top 30 Blogs - https://blog.feedspot.com/toronto_blogs/# The gals hard at work. The basement floor was always cold. Pieces of old carpet separated my bony bottom from the concrete floor as I sat playing. I played for hours, all alone with my Barbie play house on the frigid floor. It was magical. My Barbie house was made of cereal boxes. Barbie was living in a custom built home brought to you by Kellogg's - specifically Shreddies and Corn Flakes. Shreddies because my brother loved them. Corn Flakes for the rest of us. Occasion ..read more

Myselfthink.com, one of Toronto’s Top 30 Blogs - https://blog.feedspot.com/toronto_blogs/# One of the many joys of aging:) I got a bit of a spiritual spanking this past year on my birthday - six months ago now, September 2021. I woke up at 6:00 am, a bundle of nerves in anticipation of the first day of school. A new year, new classes to teach, opportunity lurking, and the promise of an end to the pandemic around the corner. I felt hopeful. There’s an energy in the cool autumn air that often inspires change; a new pair of jeans, the launch of a long awaited business, a fresh haircut that may o ..read more

Myselfthink.com, one of Toronto’s Top 30 Blogs - https://blog.feedspot.com/toronto_blogs/# Not me but you get the seventies vibe (minus the American flag) The street looks mostly the same; a neighborhood from the seventies with wide driveways, big lawns, houses with stained aluminum siding, and tall street lights good for evening ball hockey games as much as late night suburban traffic. I don’t know if they still do, but kids around here used to build forts out of sheets and kitchen chairs then run alongside train tracks with shoe laces carelessly untied. Half naked bodies in all shapes and s ..read more

Myselfthink.com, one of Toronto’s Top 30 Blogs - https://blog.feedspot.com/toronto_blogs/# August 7th, 1999 - Horseshoe Resort I felt his hand gently land on my ankle at the foot of the bed and squeeze. I lay sleeping under the light sheet in the hot summer, waiting for this moment.   “Time to get up. I have to leave in 30 minutes.” “Okay” I said. I wiggled my fingers and toes and slowly came to life. The dog stretched beside me on the half empty king size bed before we exchanged a sad glance, knowing what was coming. I watched my husband slip out of the room in his towel, his fresh ..read more

Myselfthink.com, one of Toronto’s Top 30 Blogs - https://blog.feedspot.com/toronto_blogs/# I don’t know exactly how to describe the colour. It’s a complex mix of dirty mustard at the base with spots of golden yellow on top. Each area is dome-like in shape and under the light, and even in the shadows, the bumps glisten from fresh ooze and the application of useless ointment. These are the pustules that cover my neck, face, hands and beyond. Yes ...beyond. They stare out at the world like tiny ice cream scoops of brownish pus dripping with poisonous lemony syrup. I want to scream ‘look away’ at ..read more

Myselfthink.com, one of Toronto’s Top 30 Blogs - https://blog.feedspot.com/toronto_blogs/# I decided to enter my neighbors house uninvited. They weren’t very secretive about the state of their general household security and I knew for a fact, the back door was always unlocked. For that matter, the front door was usually open as well. My mom was a nurse and frequently on the night shift. She slept during the day while my dad was out selling houses. It was the 80’s - injury and the whereabouts of children was usually a consideration after-the-fact. Mischief and floppy band aids were to be expec ..read more

Myselfthink.com, one of Toronto’s Top 50 Blogs - https://blog.feedspot.com/toronto_blogs/# In my house, a bottle of Prosecco and two coats of bright red nail polish can disappear before Brad Pitt is even a whisper on the red carpet. That has been my Oscar ritual for many years - painting my toenails and sipping bubbles while Hollywood’s greatest celebrities and artists meander down the carpet, like pretty lambs to the media slaughter. Adoring fans and unstable looky-loo’s scream from the stands while I gawk from home, my limbs tingling with excitement and alcohol at the spectacle of it all. I ..read more

Myselfthink.com, one of Toronto’s Top 50 Blogs - https://blog.feedspot.com/toronto_blogs/# My new friend. The sweat collects across my upper lip as I zone in on the fine print of the instructions for my new alarm clock. The booklet is about the size of a large business card, with print so small, each time I read it I see something different. ‘Press the arrow’ upon second glance looks a lot like ‘Punch the alarm’. I’m tempted to do the latter. Struggling to read the fine print combined with the added heat from the afternoon sun pouring in through the window is now causing stress sweat to dampe ..read more