What is more important for you, as a parent?
Responsive Parenting
by Jessica Milburn
5d ago
“I’d better never catch my child lying” Or “I hope my child is never too scared to tell me anything.” “A parents job is to push their child to succeed.” Or “I hope my child knows I love them, regardless of their accomplishments and success.” “My child knows if they ever try to sneak out ..read more
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“Hey your child pushed my child!”
Responsive Parenting
by Jessica Milburn
1w ago
Scary moment when another parent confronts you because your child hurt their child. We’re going to make the assumption that the aggression has ended, if your child is still hurting another child, go stop that before you talk to the parent and child.  I would say something like “She pushed your daughter? Oh I’m so ..read more
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Movie Night Sibling Conflict
Responsive Parenting
by Jessica Milburn
1w ago
My 11 yr old came up with the idea to create a “movie night” setup in the living room which included bringing the Fort couch up and some other pillows. Well, part of the Fort Couch is kept in my 4 yr old’s room. She saw this setup and was immediately distraught because she claims ..read more
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How do I get my child to do things without threatening to take away his things?
Responsive Parenting
by Jessica Milburn
1w ago
We use cooperation and collaboration, not consequences, when we need our child to do something they don’t want to do. Children who are punished in order to get them to obey tend to start giving the same threats with others “if you don’t give me that truck, I’m not inviting you to my birthday party ..read more
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A Collection of Articles About Sleep and Responsiveness
Responsive Parenting
by Jessica Milburn
2w ago
..read more
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The Adopted Child’s Burden
Responsive Parenting
by Jessica Milburn
2w ago
Adopting a child is an emotional experience for everyone involved, down to the nurses and social workers. EVERYONE wants this to be the best choice for the baby. EVERYONE wants to see the baby thrive. Most babies are not sent home with such a big role. All the adults want confirmation that they all “did ..read more
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“I’m Calling 911” A Story of Childhood Trauma
Responsive Parenting
by Jessica Milburn
2w ago
Children do have a right to a safe place to live. But I did not have that. Not only did I not have a safe place to live, I often had no place to live. If my Mom and I argued, I was expected to leave the house for an undetermined amount of time because ..read more
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“Mine, mine, mine!!”
Responsive Parenting
by Jessica Milburn
2y ago
When a toddler starts saying this, it can often feel like they are being selfish. But actually, toddlers, by nature are egocentric. Egocentric can look like selfish but selfish is being aware of others needs and choosing to meet your own, without regard for others. Egocentric (in regards to toddlers) is more about being unaware of others needs, not maliciously oblivious. There are stages of brain development that need to occur before a child becomes less egocentric. These changes happen naturally and cannot be sped up. The “mine” stage is actually something very different from a display of ego ..read more
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Processing Remorse, Rupture and Repair
Responsive Parenting
by Jessica Milburn
3y ago
This morning my boys (4&8) were sitting on the couch, watching TV but also picking at each other. The little one kept saying “come at me bro!” To which Mr.8 would jab him with the wooden vacuum. Mr.4 said “no, when I say come at me bro, I want you to tickle me.” I said “D, come at me bro means ‘fight me.” You can see this escalating as I did. Since Mr.8 was brandishing a toy that could be used as a weapon, I say “C, put down the vacuum, someone is going to get hurt.” He seemingly ignores me. I say again “C, put down the vacuum, that’s not a toy for wrestling.” Apparently I got distracted a ..read more
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What is more important for you, as a parent?
Responsive Parenting
by Jessica Milburn
3y ago
“I’d better never catch my child lying” Or “I hope my child is never too scared to tell me anything.” “A parents job is to push their child to succeed.” Or “I hope my child knows I love them, regardless of their accomplishments and success.” “My child knows if they ever try to sneak out of the house, they’ll be grounded for life.” Or “I hope if my child ever needs my help, they aren’t so scared of getting in trouble that they don’t call me.” Let’s think about this for a minute…. Your child sneaks out of the house one night. You catch them…. You are furious…. You ground them for a long time, ex ..read more
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