Today was a rough day. Overwhelming and heavy. Furnishing an apartment, albeit small, is not an easy feat. Well, with a limited budget, it’s not. Buying the majority second hand is exhausting. Emailing back and forth on the condition of the piece in question. Figuring out the transportation options, ensuring that the total budget, that included, is kept. Finding suitable solutions for what one might want to get vs what is feasible…. Then, the pieces arrive and it doesn’t feel right. The table is too big or the shape doesn’t work. You push on and list it for sale yourself, starting the whol ..read more

It’s a new dawn It’s a new day It’s a new life for me… and I’m feeling good. Mama and son – a new beginningIndeed it is, and indeed I do. I look back at the photos from a mere year ago when my life started anew. It’s a lot of responsibility, immense joy, very little sleep, a mind in constant chatter on preparing for a stable and fun-filled future for my little one. And here we are, about to move into a new home, our very own. What a blessing! Every day is such a gift. Life is light. It is not devoid of trial but the beam of sunshine that is my boy is beyond the value of any ot ..read more

Without my son’s biological father or a significant other to be a co-parent to my little boy, there are moments of discouragement when I think of the long term repercussions. As my son gets older, there will be questions on that absence. Questions that I’m still working out how to answer. The bond with grandpa is unprecedented Playing with Uncle J What is lacking for me as a single parent may pose as obstructions on our path but I am hell bent on becoming a master at parkour for life. The obstacles will be there but I can work at my flexibility, stamina and strength to clear obstacles in o ..read more

Someone recently mocked my social media posts of my life as a new mother, insinuating I’m disingenuous. It has thrown me for a loop and made me step back for a time. Not because anything that was said was factually correct however. I’m far from perfect but integrity is in my backbone and I will never attempt to portray a reality that is not genuine to my life experience. To some it may seem that I, like so many on social media, attempt to depict a perfect existence with no flaws or raw illustration of life as is. It is not so. But the fact remains: Every moment of every day is precious to ..read more

As a new mother, I am getting more involved in organizations that work to further the causes I am passionate about. This evolves constantly as I become more well read and find experience in subjects related to motherhood. New mama beamingOne of those organizations is Haro, Sweden’s leading women’s organization with a focus on children’s needs and parents’ freedom of choice, with a critical perspective on Swedish family policy. Haro aims to put the child in focus, advocating for Swedish family policies to respect the individual needs and demands of each family. Hear hear to that! For the ..read more

The pains of longing will never be forgotten. And I hope that the turmoil I’ve gone through can at some point in life give peace to another. Peace knowing that it can turn. Peace knowing that there is hope. Peace feeling the warmth of empathy from someone who understands. Completely. Peace in the companionship of shared grief. Peace in the shared light that now permeates my soul. Two souls connectedPeople often say that women are all mothers, that motherhood is the nurturing of another. I agree to a degree. I’ve always been the nurturing type, one who’s gravitated towards children and car ..read more

Neither of the two girls manning the childcare at the gym took any notice as I sought their attention with Julian in my arms. I proceeded to lift out a baby walker and put him in it. I left him with a smile, busy exploring all the toys in front of him. I hurried to the elliptical machine and did a couple of minutes of high intensity workout as I feared I wouldn’t have much time. There he is, in the middle of the room, enjoying a moment’s fun before he realizes his mama is gone. After five minutes, I ran over to the window of the childcare room to check on Julian and he seemed ok. He was al ..read more

I just checked on Julian who is sleeping. I do this several times a night until I lie down next to him to sleep. I hear him breathing. I stroke his back. I kiss his cheek and let it linger there. I feel as though I’ve won the jackpot and it’s Christmas morning all rolled into one. The joyful chills shoot through my body like jolts of electricity that I am his mother. I get to nurture him with every sense. What an incredible opportunity! That opportunity comes with a heavy dose of responsibility. We take on managing that responsibility differently, both on an individual level as well as how ..read more

Today was a rough day. Overwhelming and heavy. Furnishing an apartment, albeit small, is not an easy feat. Well, with a limited budget, it’s not. Buying the majority second hand is exhausting. Emailing back and forth on the condition of the piece in question. Figuring out the transportation options, ensuring that the total budget, that included, is kept. Finding suitable solutions for what one might want to get vs what is feasible…. Then, the pieces arrive and it doesn’t feel right. The table is too big or the shape doesn’t work. You push on and list it for sale yourself, starting the whol ..read more