This iconic fragrance – Elon’s Musk Eau de Parfum – is the grand-new, brand-new, tech-bro fragrance brought to you by the House of Dior. Finely crafted and tuned to the last detail like a custom-made crypto coin, Elon’s Musk Eau de Parfum strikes an artful balance where each Bitcoin expresses itself with the sensuality and freshness of a DogeCoin. Pretty cool, huh? That means something, right? Elon’s Musk brings in the most beautiful hints of white supremacy from around the world in its composition. The floral and fruity notes of what he thinks Mars might smell like, blended with the rare duo ..read more

My parents’ divorce is the best thing that ever happened to me, and it could be the best thing that ever happened to you, too. No, I’m not projecting. I’m not lashing out or overcompensating, either. Don’t even start with me, because I don’t want pity — that’s one thing I hate about two-parent-havers. They ASSUME. Across twelve years of compulsory education, never did my school faculty learn to stop addressing their letters to a Mr. and a Mrs., nor did they stop threatening to call my mom when I was in trouble. (She doesn’t call me, man, what makes you think she’ll put out for my bald principa ..read more

The post Prophet Scouting Report: Jesus H. Christ appeared first on Robot Butt ..read more

EDITORS NOTE: They have sent a cease and desist. We owe them somewhere in the ballpark of $300,000. The pictures I used technically count as using Idris Elba’s likeness.  The post He’s Fast, He’s Red, And He’s Pissed As Hell! Knuckles, A Limited Series From The Universe of Sonic The Hedgehog, Comes To Paramount Plus On April 26th appeared first on Robot Butt ..read more

I’m being so serious. I think if the right people see it we can get Paramount Plus to either sponsor the post, or think they already did. So everyone behave. Don’t comment or do anything weird or you’ll screw this up for me. I’m trying to support my red dude and get absolutely paid. Share this around with tweets that are like “dang, Robot Butt sold out” or “nice try paramount plus but I’m not watching your dumb show just because you paid a niche internet humor site.”  There are ads for this show EVERYWHERE. We can easily sneak one in. I’m thinking in like a week, I’ll send an email to the ..read more

The post We NEVER Said It Was Safe To Look At The Eclipse Without Glasses And If We Did It Was Legally Parody Or Satire Or Something appeared first on Robot Butt ..read more

The post We’ve Been Asked By Numerous Scientific Outlets To Take Down Our Eclipse PSA But We Aren’t Doing It! appeared first on Robot Butt ..read more

The post SCIENCE FACT: You DO NOT Need Glasses To Look At Tomorrow’s Eclipse! appeared first on Robot Butt ..read more

I’m being so serious. I think if the right people see this we can get paramount plus to either sponsor a post, or think they already did. So everyone behave. Don’t comment or do anything weird or you’ll screw this up for me. I’m trying to support my red dude and get absolutely paid. Share this around with tweets that are like “dang, Robot Butt sold out” or “nice try paramount plus but im not watching your dumb show just because you paid a niche internet humor site.”  I’m thinking in like a week I’ll send an email to their help line and ask when we should be be expecting payment. There’s n ..read more

3 Regular Bibles This Cool Godzilla Dinner For Two At Chilis. I’ll Join You. It’ll Be Nice. If We Split The Bill We Can Go Twice Call Of Duty. Any Of Them. I’m Pretty Sure They Are All $60. This Thing Tickets To Ska Fest This Website. Make Me An Offer. A Gift For Someone You’ll Likely Forget This Year. Here’s A Short Calendar Of Important Dates You’ll Probably Forget: My birthdayAny Of These Funny Coffee Mugs Blu-Ray Copy Of Real Steel The post 10 Things You Can Buy For The Price Of The Trump Bible appeared first on Robot Butt ..read more