For 13 years, the blog of Attachment Parenting International (API) – originally called API Speaks, later renamed APtly Said – has been encouraging and supporting and giving voice to parents around the globe who have embraced API’s vision for a changed society…one where peace and compassion triumphs, not only for our children but for our wider culture. As API cofounder Lysa Parker put it: “You can’t change generations of behaviors in one generation, but you can begin the change. …” And that’s what API’s family of publications – the APtly Said blog, The Attached Family magazine, Journal of Attac ..read more

The child’s ability to understand and embrace family values is an important goal of child development. The child’s capacity to do this starts with emotional safety in the home. There is no exact, step-by-step way of creating emotional safety in the home. We all are in a process of learning and discovery. With this realization, we grow as parents alongside our children as they grow in their development. So what are we to guard against? Shame is among the most painful strong emotions humans can feel. Unlike guilt, which arises out of empathy, shame is borne about of a feeling of unworthiness or ..read more

Happy October! This month, we celebrate Attachment Parenting Month among other important observances such as ACEs awareness. For many people, October brings with it a change in seasons. Transitions can be rejuvenating. You may have noticed that API’s homepage has a new look with new verbiage and direction. Note the new logo and organizational name at the top of the homepage. API has been a very effective organization within the parent education and support field for more than 25 years. We have raised awareness internationally to the importance of nurturing parent-child attachment to healthy ch ..read more

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has issued a new policy, Preventing childhood toxic stress: Partnering with families and communities to promote relational health. We applaud this bold recognition of the value of nurturing parenting, given AAP’s influence on its global network of pediatricians: Source: AAP Safe, stable, and nurturing relationships can act as a powerful, protective buffer against the biological harms of toxic stress on children. These relationships are also key to building resilience—being able to bounce back from adverse childhood experiences. When children feel connec ..read more

“Imagine that the world had created a new ‘dream product’ to feed and immunize everyone born on Earth. Imagine also that it was available everywhere, required no storage or delivery, and helped mothers plan their families and reduce the risk of cancer. Then imagine that the world refused to use it.” ~ the late Frank Oski, MD, American pediatrician That “dream product” this renowned child nutrition expert was referring to before his 1996 death from prostate cancer already exists—in breastmilk. Breastmilk delivers lifelong health benefits to infants that far outweigh substitutes, doubling as bot ..read more

The New York Times recently published an article entitled “I Love You. Leave Me Alone.” This headline has since been softened to “Why I Need to Hide From My Kids.” Regardless, the article points to a problem of the pandemic – parents spending more time within physical (and emotional) proximity of their kids, without fully understanding their children’s developmentally appropriate needs for emotional care especially during stressful times, and without an established framework to ensure their own personal balance. Balance can be an evasive state of mind, especially in families, especially when o ..read more

The fall of Afghanistan to the Taliban is so incredibly sad. In only a week, this extremist political faction has taken country of a country after 20 years of U.S. occupation and dashed the hope for a future based in democracy. Related: Talking to our children about world tragedies When last in rule, the Taliban was extremely hostile to anyone with views outside of their narrow law and especially oppressive toward women and children. We have watched as this disaster unfolded in Afghanistan. To our horror, we saw throngs of people – including families with young children – crowding the tarmac o ..read more

Source: News release by the Society for Research in Child Development Teens’ ability to empathize – to understand others’ perspectives and emotions, and to care for their wellbeing – is an important contributor to their relationships, including with friends. Prior research shows that teens who have more secure family relationships report higher levels of empathy for others, but little research examines whether teens with more secure family relationships actually show greater empathy when observed in real-life interactions with peers, or whether their empathic capacities show different patterns ..read more

As we reflect on this year’s theme for World Breastfeeding Week, August 1-7 – “Protect Breastfeeding: A shared responsibility” – it is imperative that we understand that protecting breastfeeding requires us to normalize nurturing. Nurturing parenting is invariably linked to breastfeeding. While not all mothers are able to breastfeed, we recognize that breastfeeding – and breastfeeding behaviors while giving a bottle – is one of nature’s best teachers of new parents in how to sensitively and consistently respond to their baby as well as learn to develop the reciprocity of a healthy relationship ..read more

Spanking and other forms of physical punishment toward children are now banned in 62 nations around the globe. Yet, this increasingly disproved child-raising practice remains legal in all 50 U.S. states with 19 states allowing physical punishment in schools. American children are far from an isolated group – 63% of children ages 2-4 worldwide are regularly subjected to physical punishment by parents or other caregivers. Related: “I was spanked, and I’m fine!” A new study by an international group of scientists located in Canada, the United Kingdom, and the United States underscores what much r ..read more