I’ve always struggled with the embarrassment of being really passionate about something, learning everything I can, then never picking it up or using that information again. So much that it often made me self-conscious about sharing hobbies and interests on the blog for fear of seeming inconsistent or flighty. Had I known from an earlier age that what I was experiencing was a classic ADHD symptom, I don’t think I would have felt measurably less self-conscious. However, I could’ve had a framework to understand those periods and reduce internal shame. Combined with this struggle is the all-in/al ..read more

We talk a lot about the care and maintenance of romantic relationships. There’s helpful content trying to help explain the perspective of each other and communication strategies. Yet for most of us, the longest relationship in our lives are platonic friends. Relationships that see so many different versions of each other as we grow and transform. Relationships, of any sort, are hard and require ongoing maintenance (Check-ins, the occasional gift doesn’t hurt, etc.). Friendships are of the utmost importance to me, but they also have so many varying seasons across the landscape of your lives, at ..read more

In a world that requires publishing a steady stream of content, often that adds nothing, I’ve found five articles that I consistently read or send to friends. These aren’t fluff pieces but also aren’t weighty – they’re filled with simple, realistic advice that you can actually quickly apply to your life. I hope you find these as helpful as I do. Signed, Your article-referring friend Alissa How to Become an Excellent Gift Giver I love, love, love being a good gift giver. But I continually am curious about what makes a good gift to other people. This article is one I refer to a lot and have send ..read more

I borrow books almost exclusively from the library or friends’ libraries. As a result, most of these aren’t new releases. Most of these are from 2021-2023, which means you can probably get a great deal on many of them at a local bookstore or an independent bookseller. (I know I link to bigger stores in this post – truly if there was another way to aggregate books for local stores I would but unfortunately I need to think of my reader’s convenience.) Please feel free to take these suggestions and support your local bookstore or library! Thriller Beach Reads Just because we’re at the beach doesn ..read more

2023 (so far) has been the year of reading for me. What I feared was a rising hyper obsession (see ADHD) has quelled into one of the most relaxing, consistent, and decompressing hobbies I have now. Plus it’s so fun to realize that reading has expanded to a world more than well, just reading. Now there are podcasts about reading, apps, and communities (hello book club!) that take it from a solo activity to really feeling a sense of belonging. One note before we jump in – these aren’t the newest book releases. They range from 2018-2023. I utilize my library and am patiently on the waitlist for m ..read more

One of the biggest learnings of 2023 in my ADHD journey has been learning why processing small changes is just so hard for me. (Which is a real bummer because life is continually changing.) Organization changes. Grocery story re-organization. Eleanor and I’s walking path change. All of these happened, in varying scale, and tripped me. (The walking path was quite literal trip.) In a continual effort to see what “clues” point to my ADHD adult diagnosis, I decided to ask the question I didn’t think about asking. Why is change so hard for me? Obviously, there’s the classic line “change is hard.” H ..read more

There’s been a few sparks in the last year of dating. The butterfly moments where you smile knowingly to yourself and music lyrics hit just a little different. At my peak Capricorn/corporate self, I created a flow chart ranking the men based on various strengths and attraction levels. I kept it updated. Weekly. Without a doubt, I was determined to post-it-note my name and number to every potential coffee shop romance encounter I had. No man was safe, Alissa was on the prowl to make connections, and learn what she likes (and dislikes) (in both men and alcohol). As the temperature dropped, so di ..read more

I have become notably commitment-phobic in my 30s. I’ve shirked the traditional milestones of home ownership, marriage, etc. But the one commitment I have found myself reviewing yearly? Choosing my Clare V Moyen messenger bag. So after finding reaching for my Moyen messenger bag daily since 2021, I think it’s time I tell you why I love this commitment so much. I’ve absolutely fallen into the “this is a classic” trap before. I’ve probably said on this blog that I’ll have an item for years and gotten rid of it after months. So, in an effort to actually tell you what I consider a classic, I’ve te ..read more

Fun Goals Let’s start out fun! Goals don’t have to always be hard (I tell myself and repeat regularly). Learn More About Red Wine (and figure out what decanting actually is) I love red wine. If it’s not cabernet it’s not for me. Consequently, I want to learn more about what is I love about it other than being able to say, “give me the red and full-bodied” In March I visited my wine-expert friends and did another wine tasting trip (this has become an annual thing since 2021) in Napa and Carmel. I like learning about how wine is made, the way top notes come through and the way tannins… well, how ..read more

I remember my then-fiancé and I talking about dining solo. Throughout his marriage, he ate alone in restaurants. In contrast, I was team never-eat-alone, take it to-go, and eat it in the car. He was team eat-alone. While not a huge insight into our relationship, you can see how opposite we were. It’s funny, out of all the banal conversations you have with someone, the ones that stand out. That conversation stayed with me. Coming out of the other side of the break-up, I began solo dining. I dipped my toe into solo dining on business trips. Slowly. Traveling weekly afforded an on/off strategy. Y ..read more