I’m a husband and a father of four. I think, journal, and pray about the man I want to be for my family. Sometimes, I am able to carry out my desires. Other times, I don’t recognize myself. I want my wife and kids to get the best I have to offer, but at times, they get my most selfish side. Sometimes, I have more patience for total strangers. I want my family to think of me as patient, but it’s hard to lead that way. I try to remove all distractions that would make me impatient, but those efforts fall short. I have found that being a husband and a father is a lonely effort. Nobody wants to hea ..read more

My kids are into Pokemon and occasionally, I have partaken in a battle or two. I don’t know much about how to Battle Pokemon, but I love spending time with my kids in their world. My kids enjoy collecting cards but playing the game is where the fun is had. Recently, we decided to film a Pokemon battle after my boys built me my own battle deck. They destroyed me! Check out the video ..read more

Doubt sets in quickly. After a long run of success, a single setback causes me to doubt if I will ever feel the way I did again. That doubtfulness always leads to feelings of anxiety. It’s crazy how easy it is to deceive myself. These moments remind me of Jeremiah 17. 9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? 10 “I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.” Jeremiah 17:9-10 I must remind myself that I do not answer to my heart, as it is not rationa ..read more

I’m not a runner and have always struggled to run even a 1/4 mile. But this year I decided I didn’t want to play into the belief that running wasn’t for me any longer. On January 1st of this year, I decided to start running, even if that meant spending more time walking. I was surprised at how much I improved day over day. After achieving 100 miles by my 43rd birthday on January 16th, I knew I could push harder and hit 200 miles by the end of the month. In this video, I break down some of the things I had to overcome and how I sustainably plan to run 1,500 miles this year. Things that helped ..read more

My brain is not trustworthy. Left uncontrolled, it will wonder, and I will find myself way off course. The general belief used to be that our brain was fixed. We have what we have, and that is it. The brain doesn’t grow past a certain age and doesn’t change until we grow old, and it starts to deteriorate. These days we know better. The brain is very much able to adjust. We can change our minds, and by doing so, our brain changes. Lately, I have been fascinated by this fact. I have read many books on the subject to better understand how I can change my thinking. Whether it be to eliminate shame ..read more

As I sit and reflect on what I accomplished in 2022, it’s hard to gather my thoughts. While I had some big achievements, I also stopped several things. Here are a few that stick out. I became a Private Pilot – On June 3rd, 2022, I passed the check ride and became a pilot. I quit drinking – On Oct 18th, 2022, I decided to stop drinking. I will write more about this, but I believe alcohol is my generation’s cigarette. I quit energy drinks – On Nov 11th, 2022, I stopped drinking Celsius Energy drinks, a daily practice for me. While a healthier energy drink than a Red Bull, that much caffeine in ..read more

The things keeping us alive are likely what we need to die to the most. I’ve been thinking about this concept a lot in regard to what my life is built on. For the last few years, I’ve enjoyed an evening drink. It became almost a daily habit, whether a glass of wine or a few fingers of whisky. The drink was part of how I wound down the day. It had become a habit, and on October 18th, I decided I was over it. I have also become really sedentary. It didn’t happen on purpose. My job keeps me behind the computer, and I haven’t been able to pivot to a more active work lifestyle. A standing desk has ..read more

Charity begins at home. So does uncharity. C.S. Lewis I read this statement from C.S. Lewis many years ago, likely before starting a family. Now having kids that are approaching their teen years, the quote rings differently. My children will learn to treat people as taught by example at home. It starts at home with how I treat them. Charity, however, does not mean pointless giving. Giving must have meaning, and giving must also be expressed outside of the home. Charity is a form of sacrifice. Whether we give with our finances or our time, those resources could have been used on ourselves. I d ..read more

I spent 30 hours alone in a small cabin out in the wilderness with no technology. Everything was left behind for some time to think. I planned to do some hiking as well but forgot my snow boots. It ended up better that way because it gave me time to think. This time alone away from people and technology allowed me to slow down and clear my mind. It took some time for that to happen as I roamed around the small cabin looking for things to read. I started journaling and have continued to do so. I started reading new books, something else I wanted to make more time for. The biggest takeaways from ..read more

Shame derives it’s powers from being unspeakable. That’s why it loves perfectionists. It’s easy to keep us quiet. Brene Brown This quote rings true in my life in many ways. Shame has perpetuated the majority of negative actions in my life. Without going into the details of my sin, shame has kept me returning to it time after time when I want nothing more than freedom from it. Shame gets its power from being unspeakable. You make a mistake, get upset with yourself, your self-talk becomes negative, and the cycle repeats. You feel alone. Over time, a need to control something develops, which lik ..read more