Our next door neighbour has passed away. Ann was late eighties, and had been unwell for some time. Her passing was peaceful, her family at her bedside. I popped round next day and offered our condolences, which was much appreciated. Her husband was weepy, but said how much he loved her. Then he said this; "I'm ninety and I've got this far without ever seeing anyone die, and now I have, and it would have to be her wouldn't it?" On returning I mentioned what he'd said and the children's ears pricked up. Naturally they wanted all the details. I had precious little extra information, bu ..read more

Foster parents get asked;  How do I get into fostering? What sort of person volunteers? I can only speak on behalf of me and the many fostering folk I've met in my time. We meet at training sessions, support meetings, supervision events, coffee mornings, social things, anniversary do's. Christmas dinners. Sometimes, when chatting you find yourself asking other carers; "What did you do before fostering?" It's not a question I like to ask or be asked, because there's so much more to people than their jobs. But it occurs to me that potential carers might find my story helps them pick up the ..read more

Fostering brings all sorts of things into one's life. I sometimes wonder what people who don't foster actually do with themselves. It's not only the little jobs that multiply, it's the brain-work of trying to understand the significance of the little things in the life of your foster child. The child I'm thinking about this time is our youngest placement, who has a thing about "Frozen". Why would a child from a down-and-out mundane chaotic family be entranced - captivated in fact - by a tale about royalty and magic? So; "Frozen" is a Disney cartoon film. A fairy story about two sister princess ..read more

A reader who signs as "L" writes; "Hi SFC, I hope you're doing ok. We're struggling a bit with the transition to having a new member of the family - who is a delight. I won't go into detail so I can respect privacy, but I'd love to hear your words of wisdom about whether you've ever "bitten off more than you can chew". The child is wonderfully behaved at home but often sent home from childcare, and has a diagnosis list a mile long that I'm sure we can support with - just worried about the balancing act with the otherkids (and sleep!). signed L" Hello L.  Thanks for getting in touch ..read more

The latest figures about fostering are saddening. In the last 3 years 3,000 carers have left fostering. Big business is moving in; residential care homes for older children in care are springing up; one new one every day. I don't know enough about these homes to deserve to have a view, but the newspapers seem allied together in their take on them; namely that they're not good for the young people, but good for investors. Then there's been discussion alongside these allegations that some normal family foster homes are no less chaotic than the homes the children have been removed from. One artic ..read more

 There are things to moan about in fostering but I try not to. From time to time fostering is taxing, but you knuckle down and sort it. There's always a Blue Sky social worker behind you. On the whole fostering is grand. Probably the one thing in fostering I'd change is "Contact". I'd make Contact more elexible than the "once a week" dictat that almost always is a bit of a spanner in the works. Not so much for me, but more importantly, the child. Children in care are, more often than not; mucked up by Contact, especially in the first weeks. Having to be taken to meet up with their 'signif ..read more

 Food, as I often say, is SO important to most foster children. This truth was one of the first things I learned when I began fostering. The importance of food begins with finding out what's the favourite food of a new child who's on their way to you. If you are able, you cook that meal on day one. Blue Sky always try to get this information to the carer because they too know what a bridge-builder it can be. I always keep a bag of dry pasta and a jar of Dolmio on standby, because from time to time I've been asked to take in a child for a night or two, and one time this happened after the ..read more

 In fostering you can sometimes forget that you're in fostering. And that's a splendid state of affairs. Because it means one thing and one thing only; It means that your ship is steady despite there being an unusual load on one side of the boat. But if you can absorb the special stuff that fostering brings to your home, and notice that you're going along on the straight and narrow, you're doing something right. "Becks" was eight when she came to us. Her given first name was Rebecca, which she hated. Her dad had chosen it because before he met Beck's mum he'd had a fling with a woman call ..read more

 We've had Alicia with us now for the best part of 2 months. She's a charming person. She identifies as female and her preferences are good enough for me. She's given to occassional wobblies. such as a couple of nights ago. She'd been off school that day. Her ailment was nothing straighforward such as a sore throat or a tummy ache.  Foster parents often, I'd go as far as to say almost always, have particular challenges when it comes to trying to pursuade someone else's child to get up and go to school, especially if they're new. When the child is your own child it's easier. Still dif ..read more

 In the UK there are basically two ways to get into fostering. I have a quirky little quirk that'll amuse you in a moment… One way to get involved is to contact your local authority social services department directly. There's such a crying need for more foster parents that it's likely you'll see their advertsements for people to come forward.  If you follow that route the local authority will help guide you through the process of getting approved. They advise and support you through the various checks and requirements you need to become a foster parent.  If and when you get app ..read more