Before the pandemic, a corporate client inquired about my business etiquette seminar. During our conversation she told me that she hadn’t hired someone because, “She looked old, as she had gray hair.” I did not color my hair during the last 16 months. It was wonderful not having to go to the hairdresser every couple of weeks. My dyed brown hair has almost all been replaced with a combination of my natural gray, silver, white, and black hair.     The photo on the left – taken five years ago – is my corporate head shot, and on the right is a recent photo. Photographer Joey D ..read more

I had the following conversation with my son after he had his car serviced: “Mom, they did a great job on my car,” he told me. I asked, “Why do you say that?” His reply: “As I was leaving, we talked about new cars and the mechanic told me to have a safe trip home.”    I thought to myself that my son knows very little about the inner workings of cars, yet because the mechanic was nice and friendly to him, he believed that the man had done a good job on his vehicle. He is not alone in how he judges the quality of someone’s work. A colleague recently decided to go with one software vend ..read more

Yet another study shows women are interrupted more than men.   A recent article in The New York Times, For Women in Economics, the Hostility Is Out in the Open, discusses a study reported last month that found when female economists presented their research findings, they were interrupted by audience members asking questions. The women received 12 percent more questions than men, and they were more likely to get questions that were patronizing or hostile. Other examples of women being interrupted more than men include: --A few years ago an article in the Harvard Business Review,  ..read more

Why are female doctors introduced by first name while men are called 'Doctor'? This provocative headline was on a Washington Post article a few years ago that featured two women physicians at the Mayo Clinic who had noticed that their male colleagues were usually introduced at conferences as “Doctor So-and-so.” But the two women and other female doctors were often introduced by their first names, when the person introducing them was a man. Last year, I heard the pilot of my flight introduce himself using his title of captain, but then introduce his co-pilot by her first name only. And most rec ..read more

My name is spelled correctly in my signature block; why do so many people misspell it in the salutation?  Only my good friends call me Bobby – my coworker should have used “Robert” or “Bob” in the salutation. I hate reading an email that starts with “Good morning” when it is 9 o’clock at night. The writer has just highlighted that I am 12 hours behind in answering my emails.  Unfortunately, the salutation – whether in an email or a letter – provides endless ways to upset your reader, as indicated by the comments above, from participants in my seminars. And if you offend someone in th ..read more

If customers include a closing in their emails, it indicates to me that they are friendly, and so I will do their work first.  A woman in one of my writing classes made the above comment when we were discussing how to end an email. Others joined in and added that they liked seeing closings in emails they received. I agree.   Emails that simply end without some kind of closing can seem too abrupt. And in today’s coronavirus world, it is especially important to seem approachable. During my recent Zoom classes, numerous questions surface about which closing is appropriate ..read more

My coworker hates her job. She keeps complaining to me. I have tried to talk to her about what she could do, but she is not listening. She is worried about finding a new position during the coronavirus pandemic.   My husband keeps threatening to quit his job. He only comments negatively about his job and the people who work with him. I wish he would just do something. My friend was having difficulty with her schedule, but she didn’t go to her boss to discuss alternatives. She just quit. When I had a problem, my boss adjusted my schedule. My friend’s might have been adjusted, too, i ..read more

    My coworkers post such vile things on their Facebook pages. I want to tell them that they’re all idiots. I want to work out; I don’t want to argue with my trainer about the election. If she doesn’t stop talking about her candidate, I will go elsewhere. I don’t want to discuss politics at work. Yet, my colleagues say nasty things about the candidates and often end up yelling at each other. What do I do?   The recent outbreaks of uncivil behavior in the political arena have impacted our everyday experiences, as the comments above testify. But it's time for people to fight b ..read more

The world is falling apart, so why bother looking? I was just laid off. I’m too shocked to do anything. Why look for a new job? There is nothing but the virus out there. If you have avoided looking for work during the coronavirus pandemic, you are not alone. As the comments above -- culled from my coaching sessions -- illustrate, many people have not started their job search, or are approaching it in a half-hearted way. I understand. The pandemic has really shaken the business world as millions of jobs have been lost. It is a difficult time to look for work, and it’s easy to think, “W ..read more

With almost the entire business world operating under the restrictions of a coronavirus pandemic, many of us are becoming all too familiar with meetings conducted online instead of in a conference room or office.   But, as a woman I coached via Zoom recently observed, “Since your colleagues aren’t in the room with you, it’s easy to forget that they are still observing you!” Her comment highlights a key pitfall about online meetings – not paying attention to how others see you during a videoconference.  This is especially true if you are not accustomed to presenting yourself ..read more