Mayim Bialik causes The American Society of Anesthesiologists to Quit and Rebrand
GomerBlog » Anesthesiology | Anesthesiology Satire Articles
by Doktor Schnabel
2y ago
Mayim Bialik may be the straw that broke the camel’s back once and for all for Anesthesiologists throughout the world. On Friday night’s Jeopardy during the meet and greet portion, Bialik referred to one of the contestants who is an anesthesiologist as “just an anesthesiologist”, and not a surgeon.  Contestant, Dr. Yian Chen, was telling a story about how he became a doctor which involved trying to master the “claw” machine as a child when Bialik responded, “That’s pretty awesome, but you didn’t become a surgeon, just an anesthesiologist.“ Dr. Megan Mcgrath, head of The American Society ..read more
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New “Code 7/19” Intubation Protocol Keeps Day Nurse Around to Finish Sstorm He Started
GomerBlog » Anesthesiology | Anesthesiology Satire Articles
by Gomerblog Team
2y ago
The time is 1859 and pagers throughout the ICU begin to chirp. It’s time: Tube O’clock. This simple and easy protocol was designed to ensure each patient is tubed NO SOONER than five minutes before death or one hour after end of Nursing shift. All pending intubations will now take place at 0700 & 1900: – 1900: Intern to approach nurse beginning shift report and state, “We are intubating patient right now”. Should nurse have questions, redirect to resident. – 1903: Resident to answer on 8th call from nurse. Redirect nurse to Fellow should nurse have questions. – 1904: Fellow to answer nurs ..read more
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Anesthesia Attending Listens to Residents’ Plan Before Telling Them What to Do
GomerBlog » Anesthesiology | Anesthesiology Satire Articles
by Gomerblog Team
2y ago
Jose Prada M.D., a Pediatric Anesthesiologist at Miami Children’s has a reputation of being very laid back. But according to Dr. Prada, the key to acquiring the reputation of being laid back is to ask your residents and CRNA’s what to do before telling them what to do. “You see, so many attendings make the mistake of just telling their residents how to induce a patient or how to manage post op pain. I always take the approach of asking them their plan 1st. After they tell me it, I then tell them how to induce and manage post-operative pain.” Dr. Prada’s style in interacting with his adult lea ..read more
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Anesthesiologist, Tired of Intubating in Era of COVID, Decides to Perform CABG Under Spinal
GomerBlog » Anesthesiology | Anesthesiology Satire Articles
by Gomerblog Team
2y ago
New York, NY – The era of COVID-19 has pushed the envelope in hospitals across the world, challenging care delivery models and allowing one ventilator to ventilate 600 patients at once. At one New York medical center, intense clinical demands and provider fatigue have inspired one anesthesiologist to push the boundaries of clinical medicine. Dr. Mac “McGrath” Millerstein, a cardiothoracic anesthesiologist, has intubated countless patients with COVID over the last several weeks. “I’ve intubated four, or maybe it’s been sixty – I’m bad at counting. That’s why we have circulating nurses in the O ..read more
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Regional Anesthesiologist Master of the Cock Block
GomerBlog » Anesthesiology | Anesthesiology Satire Articles
by Gomerblog Team
2y ago
San Diego, California – Ronald Flackey, MD is not like just any Anesthesiologist.  In addition to the 4 years of medical school and 4 years of residency it takes to practice Anesthesiology, Dr. Flackey spent extra training in a regional anesthesia fellowship.  As a result, Dr. Flackey is a master at different regional blocks.  Interscalene blocks, infraclavicular blocks and TAP blocks are all a routine part of his day.  You name the block and Dr. Flackey can do it. But there is one block that Dr. Flackey excels at; the cock block. “Its amazing” says Dr. Harbery one of his ..read more
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Try to Blame Anesthesia Now, Buddy
GomerBlog » Anesthesiology | Anesthesiology Satire Articles
by Hey Anesthesia!
2y ago
In a stunning turn of events, all it took was one global respiratory pandemic to recognize that anesthesia might not be to blame. “Man, before it was so easy to yell at anesthesia for the table, the instruments, the patients. Heck, it was anesthesia’s fault when the dealer waxed my Porsche backwards. But even -I- can’t blame anesthesia for this one,” said renowned orthopedic surgeon Dustin Jones, DO In fact, he suggested that anesthesia may have an answer to the COVID-19 outbreak. “Just maybe, if anesthesia does anesthesia, the COVID patients can go back to Crossfit and needing me to fix thei ..read more
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Physician on FIRE not allowed in OR, deemed too much of a fire risk
GomerBlog » Anesthesiology | Anesthesiology Satire Articles
by Lord Lockwell
2y ago
St. Peter, MN – Physician on FIRE, an anesthesiologist and financial blogger, recently hit the magical goal of Financial Independence and Retire Early (FIRE) in his mid 40s. Once he achieved ‘FIRE status’ JACHO and hospital administration determined he was too much of a fire risk to be in the operating room. “I’m sorry if you are over a fire risk score of 4 you can’t be in the OR,” charge nurse Jackie told reporters. Last week during the pre-surgical time out the anesthesiologist or “Physician on FIRE” stated the fire risk score was “on FIRE!” He then lifted a 20mL syringe of propofol in a ho ..read more
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COVID-19: Anesthesia Amazed They Haven’t Been Blamed for Any of This
GomerBlog » Anesthesiology | Anesthesiology Satire Articles
by Dr. 99
2y ago
SCHAUMBURG, IL – Pandemic coronavirus, COVID-19. Hundreds of thousands infected. Sports suspended. Nations on lockdown. Social distancing. Markets crashing. And it’s only just begun. Yet somehow amidst all of this, Anesthesia is amazed they haven’t been blamed for any of this. “It was only a year ago that if you misplaced your keys, tripped on the sidewalk, or got food poisoning we were the first to blame,” said yet-to-be-blamed anesthesiologist Dr. Andrew Hopkins. “Remember when we were blamed for the collapse of both the Falcons and I-85 in Atlanta? It won us the Nobel Prize for Blame. But ..read more
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Local Hospital To Pilot Drive-Thru Intubation Clinic In Response to COVID-19 Spread
GomerBlog » Anesthesiology | Anesthesiology Satire Articles
by Erik Schunn RN, EMT-P, OMG
2y ago
GREENEVILLE, TN – St. Indignant’s Health Care System has announced a new partnership with the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services to pilot an innovative drive-thru intubation clinic in the parking lot of their main campus. This new service is in accordance with new Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) guidelines for outpatient management of high-acuity patients in areas with limited available ICU resources. The new CDC guidelines also outline fashionable fabric and pattern recommendations for front line providers tasked with cobbling together their own personal person ..read more
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Everyone in the Hospital Knew Anesthesia’s Real Name All Along
GomerBlog » Anesthesiology | Anesthesiology Satire Articles
by Gomerblog Team
2y ago
With the COVID-19 outbreak, health systems worldwide are coming up with plans to maximize their resources in the face of this pandemic. With COVID-19 suspected of being droplet spread and the possibility of patients requiring long term mechanical ventilation, strategies for rapid airway securement are paramount. Many of the protocols call for the “most experienced person” to intubate the patient’s trachea. Traditionally, intubation was a hot topic between many specialties, all claiming to be very proficient in the skill. Apparently, a consensus has finally been reached. ED attending Dr. Brock ..read more
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