11 years later
Ainsobriety
by Ainsobriety
1w ago
Today marks 11 years for me. I can still remember the depressed, anxious and very brittle woman I was back then. I looked very good from the outside – professional job , married, boy/girl, beautiful home, stylish and fit. Inside I hated myself and wished often I would just not wake up. I was tired ..read more
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Allowing happiness
Ainsobriety
by Ainsobriety
9M ago
In her book “Daring Greatly,” Brown indicates that foreboding joy is one way you subconsciously try to protect yourself from vulnerability. Foreboding joy says: If I don’t feel extremely happy, I won’t feel extremely disappointed. My life is good. My new job is going well, the people are truly wonderful and I feel valued and respected for my experience. the work is already interesting, the travel has been nice and I have been to two hockey games in private suites! Money is also nice…lol My kids are both living with me and inching towards independence slowly. Neither have a clear plan for their ..read more
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A new start
Ainsobriety
by Ainsobriety
11M ago
Today was my first day at my new job! In December I planned to take some time, not sub so much and really think about what I wanted to do next. I was tired and realized I hadn’t really done this. Ha. The universe laughed. Right after I decided this I had a couple people contact me from my old job, asking if they could pass my name on. I thought about it, but decided, why not. Well, a lovely woman contacted me from a local First Nations group. They were looking for a technical manager to provide industry expertise….and wanted a local person. I had 28 years of local industry experience, with emp ..read more
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Ten years
Ainsobriety
by Ainsobriety
1y ago
Today marks 10 years since I quit drinking. A lot has happened over those years. Some happy, much difficult and traumatic. I managed it all without alcohol. I realized in year 1 that I had been biding my life away, looking into the wine glass and wondering where my life had gone. I was so depressed and disappointed and tired. I thought it was me… Turns out, this is alcohol. It sucks you in and then eventually down to where life is small and bleak I have a lovely life. And I have infinite possibilities. Thank you to anyone who continues to follow my journey. I hope my candour encourages you to ..read more
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Finding Stillness
Ainsobriety
by Ainsobriety
1y ago
Yesterday I taught my first yoga class since March 2020 when Covid shut everything down. It was lovely. My yoga class is called Finding Stillness. It is yin yoga and yoga nidra. During the class yesterday I had a real awakening. I need to be still. I have been subbing a lot of jr and sr high. I am enjoying it. I really like the kids. That said, I realize I have not given myself space to pause and consider what I want the next chapter to be. When I was laid off at the end of July I was busy – I had a trip, I had paperwork and it was summer. Then school started and I started subbing. I started t ..read more
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27 years and a Taxi ride home
Ainsobriety
by Ainsobriety
1y ago
I was laid off/packaged off/made redundant? 2 weeks ago. It was a shock. I knew the company was doing lay offs. Suncor had announced a 15% reduction in staff positions…but as a 27 year syncrude employee I guess I had always felt somewhat safe here in the north and at the plant, even as Syncrude became Suncor. So. I went to work, got to my office, was invited to a meeting (not unusual) and was read the one line….we are restructuring and you are no longer part of our future. No returning to my office – someone would pack my things and send them to me. A review of exit paperwork and then the long ..read more
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Nine years
Ainsobriety
by Ainsobriety
2y ago
Yesterday was nine years since I quit drinking. This is one decision I never revisit. There is absolutely nothing in my life that could be Improved with booze Nine years of continuous sobriety, living life with open eyes and a full heart. Nine years full of moments of deep beauty and some deep pain. I am thankful for both. This blog gives me a glimpse back into those years. I am grateful for everyone who encouraged me to continue writing, and for those who write themselves. Together we change the world. I hope(plan) to be here for 10 next year, with little Milo laying beside me. Stillness and ..read more
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It has been Too long
Ainsobriety
by Ainsobriety
2y ago
I can’t believe I haven’t written since may. My life really isn’t that exciting, lol. Milo made it through his surgery and is still recovering. His liver didn’t “kick in” as we had hoped, and he is still on a special diet and kind of delicate. I fine with that. I cook his food and it’s all easy. He is a bright fluff ball and the kids and I dote on him. All 6 lbs of him! My daughter is getting through grade 12. She is thinking about next years and looking forward. This makes my life so much simpler. My son stayed here and went to our college. He is playing Valorant for the e sports team and is ..read more
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An inspiration ✨️
Ainsobriety
by Ainsobriety
2y ago
It’s not lot to me that most folks go looking for sobriety blogs when they’re either feeling like shit or hopeless. When you’re in this frame of mind… an inspiration ..read more
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Milo update
Ainsobriety
by Ainsobriety
2y ago
I’m writing from my hotel room in Saskatoon. Milo and I flew here last week for him to have surgery on his liver shunt. The surgery was on Thursday and he was supposed to come home today, but there were complications. Hopefully he’s released tomorrow. today was very scary. It started with the concern he would need a second surgery! A scan showed he didn’t…but the waiting for the results really freaked me out and all I could think was of the worst case. This has been tiring and stressful. Being alone in the hotel makes me feel lonely. I went out and had a pedicure yesterday and chatted with a g ..read more
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