The Beginning of Separation
The Unprepared Caregiver
by Dr. Zachary White
1y ago
When was the last time you felt deeply connected to a group of people? A deep and genuine sense of connection is becoming ever more rare in contemporary life. Everyone needs to feel connected, but a sense of connection is most vital when you are in the midst of a life-altering role that is transforming you and your relationships. If connection is so important, then why is it so hard for caregivers to feel as if they are a part of something larger then themselves? There is no common beginning to our most important informal life roles. Let’s face it, what experience do we set forth on ..read more
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Frozen Networks
The Unprepared Caregiver
by Dr. Zachary White
4y ago
You may not remember the exact time or even day when it happened. But it did—for all of us.  The possibility of meeting various and new people in distinct contexts is now a memory and a dream.  Prior to the pandemic, each day provided the possibility of sharing space with people in a variety of contexts and situations—work, gym, neighbor’s houses, school, church, volunteering, clubs.  And then they were gone. Not just the situations, but what the situations made possible in ways that few of us previously considered. Are you feeling trapped? Stuck?  Hopefully, you are surrou ..read more
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The Challenges (and Benefits) of Sharing Good News
The Unprepared Caregiver
by Dr. Zachary White
4y ago
In the midst of your daily routine with your loved one, something different happened.  A moment that surprised you and spoke to you without a word uttered. You and your love one exchanged a shared smile.  That shared smile mattered because you felt its impact well beyond that moment.  That one fleeting moment made your day. It made you feel closer to your loved one. And it reminded you why you do what you do. You reach for your phone to call your spouse or friend to share your good news. You want them to know that what you felt in that moment with your loved was special. As you attempt to sha ..read more
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We Are What We Share–With Ourselves
The Unprepared Caregiver
by Dr. Zachary White
5y ago
In the visual-laden world of social media, it’s no real surprise that our attention is focused almost exclusively on sharing spectacles that can easily be appreciated by others. Spectacles that have clear beginnings and endings. A sunset. An incredible meal with family and friends.  A moment of triumph. Yet, feeling connected, remaining connected, and finding value in our everyday is as much about the social media moments we share with others as it is about our capacity and willingness to share (and reshare) the seemingly insignificant, minor, and ephemeral moments of joy with ourselves. Becau ..read more
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Creating Reality (for Family and Friends)
The Unprepared Caregiver
by Dr. Zachary White
5y ago
One of the most important but under-appreciated duties of caregiving is communicating with family, friends, and co-workers.  Without you, what happens to, and with, your loved one is beyond comprehension and notice. Simply put, caregivers are reality creators whom serve as the ultimate gatekeepers of understanding. Unfortunately, this communicative responsibility is rarely appreciated because “it’s just talk.”  Yet, the communicative burden and opportunity of caregiving is immense and ongoing.  Communicating your care experiences is so challenging because what you are trying to help others und ..read more
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Making an Impact
The Unprepared Caregiver
by Dr. Zachary White
5y ago
With spring comes new hope. This is the season when young people listen to speakers—movers and shakers of industry and politics and entertainment—share their nuggets of wisdom about what it means to be great and what it takes to be greater than the person sitting next to you. One of the most watched graduation speeches is that of Steve Jobs, co-founder and visionary of Apple. Though he doesn’t actually say this in his graduation speech at Stanford in 2005, young people still widely respect and admire Steve Jobs because of a quote he is believed to have said: “We’re here to make a dent in the u ..read more
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A Connection Mindset
The Unprepared Caregiver
by Dr. Zachary White
5y ago
Only 3 letters—YET—but these letters can change so much.  3 simple letters that may be present in our minds but are rarely stated out loud. There is incredible value in a growth mindset, rather than a fixed mindset. In a growth mindset, you believe your capacities are changeable as the presence of YET reminds you of ongoing possibility through effort, practice, and feedback. You haven’t learned something yet.  You haven’t been able to master an activity yet.  You haven’t achieved a goal yet. Here, the presence of yet is vital to growth and resilience. Most people can openly embrace this aspect ..read more
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