3 Questions to Ask Yourself if You’re Experiencing FOMO in your Relationship
Centered Connections - Counseling Towards a Better You
by Theresa Herring, LMFT
4y ago
All relationships go through rough patches. Like the weather here in Chicago, there are ups and there are downs. And sometimes the downs can feel like they go on forever (like how it was still snowing in April!) and the ups can be fleeting (that one perfect day where you can hang out at the beach). And that’s okay for a little while. But at some point you need things to get better. I mean, who would live in Chicago if it was 12 months of winter?! I know I wouldn’t… That being said, a few extra months of winter won’t have us jumping ship (yet). Because we hold onto the hope of spring and drea ..read more
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5 Tips to Better Conflict with your Spouse
Centered Connections - Counseling Towards a Better You
by Theresa Herring, LMFT
4y ago
Fighting with your partner sucks. I hate it. My husband hates it. And I imagine that you and/or your partner hate it too. I mean, who wants to feel disconnected, hurt, resentful, overwhelmed, and frustrated? Not me! And probably not you either. Which is why you’re here. You want/need something to change. I hear ya. You need a good roadmap to handle conflict. And, if you’re like most of the couples I work with, your current roadmap leaves you stranded in a ditch (not riding off into the sunset). Your fighting is more destructive rather than productive at this point. And you want to build your ..read more
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Affair Recovery Guide: Part Two
Centered Connections - Counseling Towards a Better You
by Theresa Herring, LMFT
4y ago
8 Tips to Rebuilding after having an Affair: Couple’s Guide to Overcoming Infidelity Part II You screwed up. Things went too far. You had an affair. And now, you want to make things better. Rebuilding after an affair can feel more daunting than surviving another Snowpocalypse. Cars getting stranded on Lakeshore is no match for how intimidating, isolating, and cold this feels. But, much like a Chicago winter, you’re holding out for the thaw. It is the light at the end of the tunnel—spring flowers, beach days, connection and intimacy—that helps us persevere through the iciness. So, in many ways ..read more
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Affair Recovery Guide: Part One
Centered Connections - Counseling Towards a Better You
by Theresa Herring, LMFT
4y ago
My Spouse Cheated, Now What? Couple’s Guide to Overcoming an Affair Part I Your partner had an affair. You still can’t quite believe it. And you keep asking yourself “How could this have happened? How could s/he have done this to me, to us?” You start combing through your past together looking for clues of personality flaws, duplicity, and signs of the affair. You are angry, hurt, and flabbergasted. One minute you’re crying, the next you’re yelling, and later you find yourself shutdown and closed off. You’ve never been so exhausted. Affairs rock the very foundation of a relationship. They are ..read more
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Is My Spouse Cheating? 3 Signs that your Partner has Kicked Cheating to the Curb
Centered Connections - Counseling Towards a Better You
by Theresa Herring, LMFT
4y ago
Affairs blow through relationships like tornados; your marital house is flattened, prize possessions are strewn the yard, and your sense of safety is shattered. Cheating completely destroys the foundation of a relationship and partners question things they previously took for granted. Where there was once certainty, now there are questions. Couples wonder “can this marriage be saved?” and “how can I be sure this won’t happen again?” The person who ended the affair often wonders when their partner will “get over it.” They wonder “when will I be out of the woods, out of the dog house, and off t ..read more
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Why Do People Cheat?
Centered Connections - Counseling Towards a Better You
by Theresa Herring, LMFT
4y ago
For many couples, affairs are the ultimate betrayal. The person who finds out about the affair wants to know “Why did this happen? How could you have done this to me, to us?” And sometimes the person who had the affair wonders the same thing. When individuals and couples come into my office after an affair “why”s and “how”s fill the room. They want answers that can help them make sense of this seemingly unfathomable occurrence. So you probably want to know: Why Do People Cheat? Most often, people cheat because they are unhappy in their relationship or because they are looking to reconnect wit ..read more
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How to Afford Therapy (With or Without Using Insurance)
Centered Connections - Counseling Towards a Better You
by Theresa Herring, LMFT
4y ago
You’re overwhelmed, stressed, unhappy in your relationship and starting to think maybe a therapist could help. But finding the right therapist is intimidating. And, once you find them, how do you afford them? Don’t worry, I got you covered. But first you might be wondering… Why is Therapy so Expensive? Therapy is a highly skilled profession. It requires a master’s degree and extensive training. Plus we have more work than just be in session with clients. In addition to seeing clients, we prepare for sessions, write notes, and run a business. Because we can’t do 40 sessions a week (or even 30 ..read more
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Ultimate Connection Guide: Spark Love in Your Relationship
Centered Connections - Counseling Towards a Better You
by Theresa Herring, LMFT
4y ago
Marriage is no fairytale. In fact, happily ever-after can sometimes feel like frustrations ever-after. Of course we can appreciate your spouse’s good qualities but, sometimes, they really get under our skin. The dishes that pile up in the sink, the Brita that’s never filled, the socks on the floor… Frustration builds and it’s almost like the universe bellows, “And let the nagging begin!” Because it’s off to the races. With one person feeling like a nag, the other like a chastised child, and resentment festering on both sides. This pattern sucks. You hate it. Your partner hates it. But somehow ..read more
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Roommate Rut: When Two has become the Loneliest Number
Centered Connections - Counseling Towards a Better You
by Theresa Herring, LMFT
4y ago
You’ve gone from not being able to keep your hands off one other to hardly touching each other at all. In fact you might not even remember the last time you had sex. And you never thought you two would come to this. But yet, here you are, reading this blog post and wondering “have we fallen into the roommate syndrome?” and, if so, “how can we get out?” You’re in the right place. About 70% of the couples who see me for counseling have fallen into the roommate trap. I’d go so far to say that we’re suffering from a roommate epidemic in this country. This has become a rampant problem in modern ma ..read more
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Couples Therapist’s Guide to Valentine’s Day
Centered Connections - Counseling Towards a Better You
by Theresa Herring, LMFT
4y ago
To Celebrate or not to Celebrate, that is the Question Do you surprise your partner? Do you go out? Or do you stay in? Should you plan an elaborate experience? Or do you skip it completely because it’s, well, Valentine’s Day? The answer to all of those questions depends on you and your partner. Valentine’s Day is as important as the couple makes it. Some people would rather ignore the overblown Hallmark holiday, while others revel in the opportunity to shower their significant other with love. So have a conversation with your partner about what Valentine’s Day means to them. If Valentine’s Day ..read more
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