For more than 10 years, I ran trail ultramarathons of 35 to 100 miles. I was decent at it, and I loved running those distances. But I’ll tell it straight: Long runs are hard, even if you’re trained for them. Distance runners anticipate difficulties and know to support themselves in any way possible to get to the finish line. It’s a given – they don’t think twice about it and don’t get hung up on it, either. In our daily lives, especially as folks with ADHD, we fall into the trap of thinking we don’t need help, or that we’re wimpy if we accept help or create supportive structures for ourselves ..read more

Making friends during adolescence is akin to navigating a labyrinth filled with twists, turns — and the potential for profound connections. For individuals with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), the journey toward friendship often presents its own set of unique challenges and opportunities. Individuals with ASD possess intelligence, compassion, and a propensity to be misunderstood, often leading to experiences of bullying and social isolation. It’s no wonder that depression rates in the autistic community are higher compared to those in neurotypical groups. For me, this reality underscores the i ..read more

It was the first time the card table was used for its stated purpose. In our excitement playing cards, we got too noisy and woke up the toddler. There was laughter and arguing. There was winning and losing. I’d like to say my son, Ocean, was a gracious winner. I’d also like to say that I’m never a sore loser. Regardless, I was elated that we were playing – win or lose. I never thought my kid would land on card games as a special interest. And I know it won’t last, so I’m savoring these precious moments with extra gratitude. Special Interests: My Son’s Rotating Fascinations Ocean has autism and ..read more

I have always had a strong connection and pull to music, gaining inspiration from trailblazing female artists like Stevie Nicks and Joni Mitchell. But my relationship with music reached another level when I – during a moral burnout episode – stumbled upon a different kind of sound that changed my understanding of my AuDHD brain. In my field of work, I see injustices often. My hyper-empathy and strong sense of justice drew me to this field, an area that gave me just the right amount of dopamine to help me manage well enough for many years – until things became really difficult and the stress an ..read more

Sometimes, an ADHD diagnosis can bring more confusion than clarity. As a parent, you may think, “Should I share the diagnosis with other adults in the family and in my child’s life? How do I know who to trust?” You may fear possible judgments and others’ assumptions about your child or yourself. You may feel anxious, ashamed, or uncertain of who to tell or where to go for support. You may wonder if sharing the ADHD diagnosis will make your child feel badly about themselves. Or maybe it’s the opposite — you wonder if choosing to keep quiet will make your child feel like something is wrong ..read more

As a psychotherapist, an ADHD coach, and someone who lives with ADHD, I understand fully how the shame, stress, and anxiety of our symptoms and challenges – from procrastination and forgetfulness to time blindness and impulsivity – cause many of us to develop defense mechanisms. We seek to protect ourselves, especially when ADHD causes us to be consistently inconsistent and disappoint the people in our lives, by developing coping strategies that sometimes cause us more harm than good. The following four defense mechanisms commonly develop among individuals with ADHD: Blaming Blaming as a defen ..read more

In 2020, my son was born prematurely, weighing a tiny 600 grams, or a little over a pound. He was what they call a micropreemie. I had never seen a premature baby before, but there he was, so tiny he fit in the palm of my hand. Upon his birth, I was suddenly flung into the world of neonatal intensive care. The trauma of an early birth is incredibly extreme. It’s being thrust onto a high-speed, rickety roller coaster with dangerous ups and downs. My baby was tiny, but he was breathing. Around a sharp turn we went as we were immediately separated after birth. The intensity of the separation was ..read more

Before I was diagnosed with ADHD at age 33, my body felt like a mystery, an experience I assume is nearly universal for women with a late diagnosis. Yes, there was forgetfulness, distractibility, “careless” errors, internal restlessness, and emotional dysregulation. Yes, there were incredibly painful menstrual cycles with mood changes so drastic they should have their own amusement park rides named after them. But there were also migraine headaches so severe that they’d often lead me to hide in the bathroom and vomit while working a retail job at age 20. Despite the unbearable pain and nausea ..read more

How often do you show up late to the events and responsibilities of your life? Forty percent of the time? Half? If you can’t say 100% of the time, then I win. I am the Queen of Lateness. Or I was. I used to be late for practically everything. And take it from the Queen: Being late stinks. It’s a self-sabotaging act that gave me decades of anguish, hurt, and frustration. I knew the heartache of lateness like I knew the jewels on my crown. I’d have given anything not to wear that crown, to be a commoner who — gasp — gets to appointments a few minutes early. Following is the story of how I change ..read more

Most neurotypical people don’t fully understand or recognize ADHD struggles — and why would they? It’s hard for people with ADHD to describe their experiences because they are so complex and all-encompassing. There’s also a false familiarity (“Everyone’s a bit ADHD!”), so neurotypical people often assume that they know what we’re describing when they have only a vague or watered-down idea. The truth is that ADHD is genuinely debilitating at times. For example, I’ve spent all day writing this, but it was originally meant to be a 10-minute edit. There are days when I struggle with ADHD impulsivi ..read more