Here's a 16 minute video your students in Psychology, Sociology, and related fields might like. The speaker is Dr. Joanne Davila, Professor of Psychology and the Director of Clinical Training in the Department of Psychology at Stony Brook University (my alma mater).  I showed this in my Sexuality & Gender course and it led to a good discussion. Dr. Davila mentions features of a healthy relationship (security, respect, good communication, feeling of being valued) and explains three skills that form the basis of what she calls "romantic competence": (1) Insight, (2) Mutuality and (3) Em ..read more

I'm a lifelong Yankees fan. I grew up watching Yankee games on WPIX, loving the banter between Phil Rizzuto and Bill White. I didn't listen to radio broadcasts until adulthood. I found radio broadcasts very comforting during my grad school years at Stony Brook University. There I was, an hour from Yankee Stadium, usually relegated to the library or my apartment studying and writing papers as a grad student in the Sociology Ph.D. program. It was then that I became familiar with the voice of John Sterling, who at that time was paired with Michael Kay. I loved their chemistry and was bummed when ..read more

Tom DeVito understands the NFL marketing machine. I wonder if "My son gaining sudden fame and our Italian heritage being a phenomenon" was on his 2023 bingo card. His son, Tommy DeVito, has been thrust into the starting quarterback position for the NY Giants, and is having quite a moment. His popularity shot up as soon as it became known he still lives at home with his parents. He got tagged with the amazing nickname "Danny Cutlets." It's fun to see Tommy having a moment, and he was even named NFC Offensive Player of the Week. But getting back to Dad. Mr. DeVito is totally in on the marke ..read more

A few answers from the always interesting David Byrne in an interview with The New York Times. On the self: "Lots of other people, scientists and philosophers, think about this more than I have: Where is the difference between yourself here and here and here? Is there any continuous self? You could say you’ve retained memories from various parts of your life, but memories are very malleable. We reshape them every time we remember them. They’re not fixed. Every self you go through, you dredge something up and make it apply to whoever you are at that moment. It’s a hard thing for us to intuitive ..read more

I'll be teaching about Goffman's presentation of self to students soon. I love the material, and enjoy talking with students about different examples of front stage and back stage behaviors. My go to example of impressions is a hundred years ago I went to a job interview not wearing a tie. I could see the interviewer's notes on the table. He wrote "NO TIE!!" We are always making impressions, regardless of whether we mean to. First impressions, of course. But second impressions too. Impressions always.  Anyway...sometimes I get lost in talking about impression management and performances ..read more

Just a quick appreciation post for contemporary indie rock love songs. What are some of your favorite love songs in various genres? Here are three of my favorite indie rock love songs.  The song "Lilacs" by Waxahatchee received a lot of play on Sirius XMU a few years ago. I love hearing it whenever it shows up in their rotation. It was on the station yesterday when I caught it. I then listened to it a few more times on YouTube. I'm a sucker for a good lyric, and this line knocks me out: "I won't end up anywhere good without you." Another song I hear often on XMU is "True Love" by Hovvdy ..read more

Took this picture yesterday at a stoplight in Orchard Park, NY ..read more

"The practice of mindfulness will help you to love properly, in such a way that harmony, freedom, and joy are possible. The true declaration of love is, "Dear one, I am here for you," because the most precious gift you can give to your loved one is your true presence, with body and mind united in solidity and freedom... In order to love, we must be here, and then our presence will embrace the presence of the other person. Only then will they have the feeling of being loved. So you must recognize the presence of the other person with the energy of mindfulness, with the genuine presence of your ..read more

"The practice of deep listening consists of keeping compassion alive in your heart the whole time that you are listening. You do not listen in order to judge, criticize, or evaluate. You listen for one reason alone: to offer the other person a chance to express him- or herself. That person is going to say things that irritate you. He or she might express disapproval of you, heap blame on you, say things that are false. You have to be ready to listen to anything. You have to say to yourself, "I'm listening to this person not to criticize or judge him. I'm listening to give him a chance to expre ..read more

"Albert Camus wrote a novel, The Stranger, in which his character, Meursault, is condemned to death. Three days before his execution, he is able for the first time in his life to touch the blue sky. He is in his cell, he is looking at the ceiling. He discovers a square of blue sky appearing through the skylight. Strangely enough, a man forty years of age is able to see the blue sky for the first time. Of course, he had looked at the stars and the blue sky more than once before, but this time it was for real. We might not know how to touch the blue sky in such a profound way. The moment of awar ..read more