It's been a while
My World
by
2y ago
 I haven't written a post in forever. While I won't remove the blog, I do think I may stop posting. Thanks to all who followed me and supported me over the years. We are coming up to December which is a tough tough month for me. I lost my mom in Dec. 2015 and my dad just two years ago in December 2019, right before covid. Years ago my sister died in December.  ME/CFS and POTS wise my health has improved over the last 5-10 years in tiny increments. I now work part time on and off during the year teaching online. I still have to be careful not to over-do, I still crash fairly often. So ..read more
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Short Update
My World
by
3y ago
There really isn't much to report on the M.E. or POTS front. I do think that overall I am improved from 10 years ago. Very minor improvement, but I'll take it.  Why am I improved? Can I pinpoint anything? I wonder if it's partly just age and time. In fact, I wonder if I will continue to improve once I hit menopause and my hormone profile changes. While I would never recommend exercise to anyone with M.E. (it can make things work and cause permanent decline), I do think my regime of gentle walking when I can manage it has helped. That said, I still have lots of ups and downs, many crash da ..read more
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Been Away a While
My World
by
3y ago
 Hi Readers (if there are any of you left).  I apologize, I basically ditched this blog.  I was going through some grief stuff having lost my dad, then I worked more than usual in the summer. Then add Covid-19 to the mix and I just had no inspiration or energy. Any energy I have had has been spent outside whenever I can (I worked hard training my younger dog in back yard agility this spring and summer). I'm going to make this short.  I had a big birthday this year but due to Covid-19 both my camping trips were cancelled. I did get out one night with my roommate/friend on my ..read more
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The Restorative Power of Nature
My World
by
4y ago
As you know, I'm having a really rough time at present. My chronic illnesses have been flaring, Covid-19 restrictions have led to increased feelings of loneliness (and worthlessness), and I'm still struggling with the loss of my dad. However, any time I manage to get out for a short walk in nature it helps. Sometimes it helps a little, sometimes a lot, but with every nature outing, I notice a perceptible shift in my mood. Today, I decided to make time to head out for an hour to one of my favourite local trails. It's pretty unknown, it's Monday (so few if any users), and a section of the trail ..read more
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The Loneliness of Chronic Illness Exacerbated by Covid
My World
by
4y ago
It's been over a month since things have been locked down due to Covid. In some ways, my life hasn't changed much at all. I finished up my course (it was hard, like pulling teeth every day). However, since finishing a week and 1/2 a go, I've had trouble slowing down, appreciating my chance to rest and recharge. I've been plagued by bouts of anxiety. If I try to relax, I start to worry about everything I 'should' do before my next course in July. There's also some Dad estate related tasks pending. This week I got together all the tax stuff and reorganized his file box. The last two days have ..read more
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February Blues
My World
by
4y ago
I think I have the February blues. Except it's March. My mom (who struggled with depression) always said this was the toughest time of year for her. For me, it's always been December with the low light and short days. I've also now lost 3 family members in December. So after my last iron infusion in January, as you may know from reading my last blog post, I ended up going to emergency with severe nausea and stomach upset. It took almost 4 weeks to recover. I lost 10lbs. I'm convinced it was a reaction to the iron infusion (and some of my tests did indicate I got too much iron). Right now I ..read more
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Trip to Emergency - history repeating itself
My World
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4y ago
I have now gone to emergency twice in my adult life. Both times since M.E., and both times for gastrointestinal distress. Long story short, after my last iron infusion, I developed what felt like a stomach flu. Seven days later while some of the symptoms were improving (diarrhea) the grumbling intestinal distress, burning like pain, and severe nausea were if anything, worse. I had an appointment in a week, but didn't think I could take another full week of nausea. For a Monday, when I got there, emergency didn't seem too busy but it quickly filled up. (One nurse told me that ours is the busi ..read more
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Grief and Loss
My World
by
4y ago
I've lost people I've loved before. My sister died when I was a teen. When I was in University I lost an aunt I was close to. More recently, I lost my mom and my aunt Laura. Death is part of being mortal, thus loss is something we'll all face and have to move through. In some ways loosing my dad feels like the hardest hit yet. Why has this been so tough for me? He was 89 and quite sick the last few months. I think there are quite a few reasons. For one, I saw him almost every day the last four years. I miss his presence acutely in a way I didn't with some of the other losses I've faced. The ..read more
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December Updates - Sad News
My World
by
4y ago
November and December were terribly difficult months.  My dad's health declined significantly over the last couple months to the point where he ended up in the hospital on December 6th. He was eventually moved to a hospice floor in a different hospital on the 12th where he died two days later on December 14th. I sat by his bed for much of it. He was conscious on and off especially the first 5 or 6 days but stopped eating (couldn't swallow) and stopped talking. Since then I've done a lot of paperwork and caregiver/executor type tasks. Right after he died I was so exhausted I barely moved from ..read more
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Updates
My World
by
4y ago
First, I want to thank people who have been commenting. I still can't figure out how to post a response even as anonymous (very strange), but please know that I read and appreciate them. I am not so well today (crashed). I have been doing a lot. I think that while I am no means better from the M.E., I am overall improved. I seem to be able to push harder and longer than I have the whole time I've been ill. That said, I have had two infections already this fall (which ironically sometimes gives me an energy boost). The most recent one was either a severe cold or influenza (came with a fever) a ..read more
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