I’ll never forget the day in 2016 when I had the idea of writing for PsychCentral. It’s a vivid memory because I’d just been eternally banned from their message board! Yep, I’d been promoting my personal narcissism blog again. Bad Lenora! Naughty Lenora! But I’ve got this disturbing streak of daring-do so I took my lady balls in both hands and emailed Dr. Grohol my idea: “PsychCentral doesn’t have a dedicated narcissism blog. I can do that!” Bless his heart! Dr. Grohol gave an unknown, untried newbie HuffPost blogger without a psychology degree a trial period. If I made good, he’d keep me on ..read more

You always kinda’ expect it. But until your family publicly erases your existence from the family tree, well, you can’t quite anticipate how that will feel and all the subtle meanings and implications. Last Friday, my grandmother about whom I’ve written so much, passed away. She was ninety-two years old and had enjoyed all the blessings of a good life — love, family, husband, children, four granddaughters, six great-grandsons. (What are the odds!) She never lacked for a warm roof over her head and plenty of food on the table. But she had recently suffered two falls and was in poor health, so ..read more

Do you ever feel like you just can’t? Like you have a mental block preventing you from diving into a particular task. It’s more than procrastination. More than “don’t wanna and you can’t make me.” We feel like Audrey Hepburn playing Eliza Dolittle in My Fair Lady when Professor Higgins has driven her unmercifully for hours and she cries out, “I cawn’t. I just cawn’t.” Whenever I hit a block, there’s something I always say: “Damn my OCD!” Sanity I first developed OCD when I was fifteen. Overnight, my family went from nominally happy to kablooey! Yes, it was that sudden. My family never recove ..read more

Forty is a magical age. Dr. Spock doesn’t list any milestones for this age but I can tell you it’s surprisingly enjoyable and free-ing to crest that hill and begin your leisurely roll down the other side. By far the best part of turning forty, is the perspective it gives you. But you can’t  rush it! You’ve got to wait for it. You have to live all forty years before perspective is in your purview. Perspective What do I mean by perspective? Well, maybe “patterns” is a better word. It takes the blessing of living and observing for forty years to recognize the patterns in the world, in peopl ..read more

“Babies don’t come with manuals,” my parents would sometimes moan, half in jest, half seriously. So, like all first-time parents, they parented from the only resource they had: themselves. It’s natural to assume that your child will be a chip off the old block, with the same weaknesses and temptations, the same interests and skills. But that’s not necessarily true, especially if you have parents who share from their own mistakes to warn their kids what not to do. The kids are actually listening. Part 1: Protection? Projection? You Decide. Engulfing narcissists make two big mistakes in parenti ..read more

Once upon a time, a man was having a pleasant chat with an extraterrestrial. Yeah, yeah, I know. Work with me here, okay!?! If it helps, imagine tea and crumpets being involved. The point is that this man claimed the extraterrestrial, we’ll call him Bob, telepathically asked him, “Why do you have to pay to live on your own planet?”. Why do we have to pay to live on our own planet??? The longer you ponder on that question, the more it gets under your skin. I don’t mean this as a political or economic question, but rather as a recherché philosophical idea to mull over on long Winter evenings. A ..read more

“This opera,” said Wagnerian soprana Debra Voigt, “requires the audience to suspend belief.” I’d never really given much thought to the phrase “suspend belief” before. Ms. Voigt meant that, if you want to enjoy Mozart’s Così Fan Tutte, you must accept what Mozart is telling you, even though the truth and evidence of your own eyes and ears would make any normal person say, “Um, excuse me, how can she not know that he’s her fiancé in a really cheesy disguise.” Suspend Belief. Doesn’t that perfectly describe people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder relate to truth!?! What Am I Bid? I lost m ..read more

“This opera,” said Wagnerian soprana Debra Voigt, “requires the audience to suspend belief.” I’d never really given much thought to the phrase “suspend belief” before. Ms. Voigt meant that, if you want to enjoy Mozart’s Così Fan Tutte, you must accept what Mozart is telling you, even though the truth and evidence of your own eyes and ears would make any normal person say, “Um, excuse me, how can she not know that he’s her fiancé in a really cheesy disguise.” Suspend Belief. Doesn’t that perfectly describe how personality disordered people relate to truth!?! What Am I Bid? I lost my innocence ..read more

I wasn’t going to publish this…but what the heck! A lot of my fellow caregivers loved it when I shared it privately on Facebook so let’s go public. There’s an old adage: If you don’t want to care for your disabled family member, then don’t attack their caregiver. Actually, it’s not old. I just made it up. But to me, it makes an awful lot of sense. I suppose this article was inspired in March/April when Michael was battling for his life against pneumonia. His eldest (adult) child began inquiring about Michael’s possessions but never said the those four beautiful words, “How are you, Dad?” Tha ..read more

Madonna was wrong. Coronavirus is not the Great Equalizer. Rather, it is the Great Revealer. Pandemics…and money…bring out people’s true characters. For some, that meant hoarding. For others, price gouging. For millions of second (or third, etc.) wives and families across America it meant watching in horror as their EIP Stimulus Checks were silently accepted by their husband’s ex-wives. Due to a 11+ year con and SSDI fraud, Michael and my stimulus checks were stolen too. That’s $2,400 not received by a terminally ill man who served his country and me, his wife and caregiver. Like so many ..read more