It doesn’t always feel like it, but there is too m...
The Gayby Project | Making the Next Generation of Fabulous
by AndiePants
3y ago
It doesn’t always feel like it, but there is too much time elapsed between when I last wrote in April and now to attempt and go through a genuine update of any kind. The great mystery of how time has elapsed in the midst of this global pandemic will keep brains busy for many years to come. But time has, indeed, passed. And there are, of course, the things we are all aware of that have marked this long season – the stupidity of the American people stretching this pandemic out and fanning its flames; a large scale reckoning about anti-black racism in our culture; the ever more shocking and terri ..read more
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Adieu, troisième
The Gayby Project | Making the Next Generation of Fabulous
by AndiePants
4y ago
I have written 2/3 of a very smart, thoughtful, insightful blog on public health and the coronavirus but it’s not done yet so you’ll have to wait. But today, right now, the thing I am bringing to this space is this: The decision is all but 100% confirmed and made: there will not be a gayby #3 in our family. This is not what I want. Unfortunately, there is no compromise on the issue of having a baby, there is no halfway to meet at, there isn’t a way for everyone to win here. I do not want to have a child with someone who is not fully and completely in agreement with that decision, and L is not ..read more
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Life in the Time of Covid-19
The Gayby Project | Making the Next Generation of Fabulous
by AndiePants
4y ago
I’ve been meaning to write for weeks. I even started a post but it soon became out of date and it just wasn’t worth trying to update. And now things have become so radically different that it seemed prudent to just start over. So here I am. I feel like I want to capture how things unfolded because when I look back, it feels like things became so strange so quickly and yet, it feels like another time of life entirely since what I can recall as being the ‘beginning’ of this transition into the strange world in which we all live. So much is so different. On Feb 29th, I went canvassing for E ..read more
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Sometimes the worst part of parenting is the other parents
The Gayby Project | Making the Next Generation of Fabulous
by AndiePants
4y ago
When we moved to Tacoma, a little over 2 ½ years ago, we knew we wanted to try and find some kind of preschool program for Ansel, both to give L a break from full time at home parenting two kids and to give Ansel some outside stimulation. Because we were a one income family, we didn’t have much money to spend, which is how we initially found out about co-op preschools. If you’re not familiar, co-op schools are usually very inexpensive but also ask for a high level of participation of families. They are really built for families where there is an at-home parent. We checked a couple out and deci ..read more
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2019: It never really got any easier
The Gayby Project | Making the Next Generation of Fabulous
by AndiePants
4y ago
I’ve thought about posting here a lot of times in the last few months. I started a few posts. Once, I started writing, deleted it and then went on a fruitless rabbit hole search for a different journaling platform online and then ultimately decided that wasn’t what I wanted either. I no longer know what purpose this serves, by and large. But what I know today is that I want a place to put my reflections about the past year and the past decade and this seems like a good place to do it. Maybe it will be the beginning of a blog renaissance, perhaps I won’t be back for months, or even until ..read more
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Runner’s High
The Gayby Project | Making the Next Generation of Fabulous
by AndiePants
4y ago
Yesterday, I ran. For 5 minutes, going a very leisurely 4.5 mph. But, I ran. I have not run since I finished my last 5k in March of 2014 (I think?) and was riddled with pain in my ankle. Even when I have kind of needed to run . . .like, when my kids are swiftly moving down the hallway at the YMCA and they turn the corner where the door to the outside is and all I can do is pray that my scream of “RED LIGHT!! RED LIGHT!!” has effectively stopped them. Because the stakes weren’t high enough for my brain to cross the threshold into the pain I knew would come, and stay. (When Angus ran into ..read more
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Coming Soon: Bionic Mama?
The Gayby Project | Making the Next Generation of Fabulous
by AndiePants
4y ago
IF you’re a longtime reader, you may remember that I have a long standing problem ankle. You may even remember it if you’re new, since I mentioned it briefly in my last entry. The TL;DR is that I fucked my ankle up really badly when I was 21 and then kept reinjuring it until I could shift my foot an inch over from my foot as a fun trick at parties. My handsome and very kind orthopedic surgeon in Colorado took that from me but, not intentionally, left the arthritis and ongoing pain. My only options are to wait until the pain is so bad that I opt for one of my very subpar surgical choices, or ..read more
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Sometimes you don’t realize how charmed your life ...
The Gayby Project | Making the Next Generation of Fabulous
by AndiePants
4y ago
Sometimes you don’t realize how charmed your life has been – or at least how generously mundane – until you are wallowing in difficulty for so long. I keep waiting for a sunbreak in the downpour, or even a let up. But it’s been a slog for months now. Of course, I’ve had my share of challenges. I grew up with an alcoholic/addict and it’s impossible not to inherit some trauma from that. I also grew up fat in a world built for thinness, and that too gave me a layer of sadness to contend with. Thanks to those things, I was in a manipulative and abusive relationship and had to dig myself out of ..read more
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Oh, brother.
The Gayby Project | Making the Next Generation of Fabulous
by AndiePants
5y ago
My brother is not quite three years older than me. We are very different people. We have never been particularly close, outside of the ways in which surviving an alcoholic/addict parent forces you to be. We spent much of our respective childhoods fighting one another about petty bullshit while we were left home alone after school. As we grew up, he mostly just ignored me. My family moved when I was in 5th grade and my brother kept attending school in the old attendance area while I moved to the new one, so we hardly even shared a context outside of our limited interactions at home. Oh, ther ..read more
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#2 turns 2
The Gayby Project | Making the Next Generation of Fabulous
by AndiePants
5y ago
On Friday, ANGUS TURNED TWO!! It feels impossible, but somehow we have two walking, talking, big emotion having children and 0 babies in our home. That cliched adage about long days and short years is so, so true. At two, Angus . . . Is still very little (exact details forthcoming, after his well child check) – regularly still wearing some 12 month sized clothes, though he’s definitely moving more into 18 month and the occasional 2T as well. Height wise he’s more average, but the dude continues to be skinny. This despite his seemingly boundless appetite. Talks all.the.time. It’s wild ..read more
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