I’ve discussed at length turning 40, in writing and in various conversations with friends. I’ve talked about what it means from a physical and mental standpoint, where I am now versus where I thought I would be, and the reality of how this age has been so far compared to what I thought it would be when I was much younger. Nearly two years in, it’s been great. I feel good — aside from the occasional aches, pains and concerns that come in this season of life. OK, overall it hasn’t been that bad. For those of us in our 40s, we have spent the better part of two decades or so getting acclimated to ..read more

People often ask me about the big age gap between my second and third child. The five-and-a-half-year difference makes people wonder why we began our journey through babyhood once again. When asked, I usually smile and say simply, “The timing was right.” The truth is there wasn’t supposed to be such a big gap. Several miscarriages lead to the huge age difference. How it started One morning, the rain poured outside as I walked down the stairs into the basement. A good foot of water welcomed me. As I stepped into it, I realized it wasn’t just water. Our sewer line had backed up into the basemen ..read more

Tax Day has now come and gone. Once again, NONE of my working teens filed their taxes because I told them not to bother. With the standard deduction for single dependents nearing $1,300, I told my kids to save the time and sit this filing year out.   Since each has started working, I have given this same advice. And, honestly, I’ve never been 100% sure that I/they are doing the right thing. From my point of view, if my kids ultimately have $0 of tax viability (we live in Florida, so no state income tax, either) then filing to get the $20 lost does not make much sense.  ..read more

I believe most men have a drive to be a productive part of the economy and the world. But what happens if he becomes a stay-at-home dad? Would his ego be helped with a part-time job? What if that part-time job became bigger and bigger? How would his priorities and identity as an at-home dad change if he were to have the opportunity to enjoy business and economic success that can be parlayed into a fulfilling career? I’ve had to answer all these questions in the past few years. That last question, though, I’m still working through. In fact, until a few weeks ago, I thought I had worked out all ..read more

Our daughter was born two weeks late. I remember going into the hospital nursery and thinking she looked more developed than most of the babies. That’s when I concluded that this meant she would hit all her infant milestones and first-year benchmarks quicker than the rest. I often think back on a story my dad told me from his childhood. My grandmother insisted that he was potty trained at 3 months old. When asked why, my grandmother said she would look in his crib, and, if his eyes were watery, she knew he had to go to the bathroom. A silly story, of course, but it only reveals to m ..read more

When our family’s child care situation proved unworkable last year, we knew we had to make a major lifestyle change. For us, it was bringing an au pair into our home to help care for our two children. Au pair comes from the French, meaning “on par” or “equal to.” Agencies we talked to repeatedly stressed this concept. Unlike a live-in nanny, an au pair is expected to be treated more like a family member than a salaried employee. What is an au pair? Au pairs in the United States come from a foreign nation to live in your house for one year. They have J-1 student visas which require them to tak ..read more

It has been said that when children are born, instructions are not included with them. I, however, have evidence to the contrary. In the months since the birth of our daughter, we have accumulated enough manuals and instruction booklets to keep a small team from Ikea busy assembling and running safety checks until she starts kindergarten. We have three strollers, each with a set of instructions save one. That stroller came with four separate manuals. Our car seat, which came essentially fully assembled, still included a 66-page instruction book. This car seat is so durable that you can strap ..read more

I have a theory. It’s so revolutionary, so mind-altering, I’m terrified to unleash it on the world. I’m sure a savvy behavioral scientist will steal my idea and claim it as his own. Perhaps some pseudo-scientist will develop an outlandish experiment to test my hypothesis while giving me zero credit. Despite these obvious dangers, I’ve decided to bravely share my idea with the world. I believe children appear to have endless energy because they actively and greedily consume the life force and willpower of their parents and caregivers. That’s it. That’s the theory. It’s the only way to explain ..read more

Stay-at-home dads and work-at-home fathers are scheduled to gather in St. Louis this October for HomeDadCon 2024, the annual conference for these dads to add to their parenting skills, support each other and socialize. Speakers and topics have yet to be announced for the event, which runs Oct. 17 to 19. Breakout topics at past conventions ranged from dealing with picky eaters to teaching children about sexual consent. Outreach or social activities, such as attending a sporting event, are often part of the program. The National At-Home Dad Network (NAHDN) event is for stay- and work-at-ho ..read more

I’d be lost without Google Calendar. In many ways, it’s my own little digital personal assistant. Every meeting, trip, doctor’s appointment, party invitation, important birthday, sports practice and game, and more fill the days, weeks, and months on my computer screen and phone.  Yay, technology! As I’ve aged, having a detailed calendar has become a necessity. If it isn’t on there, forget about it. I’m not going to be on time. Hell, I might not even show up at all. I could get away without writing down appointments and such when I was younger. Dentist appointment next Thursday at 9? No p ..read more