Inside It Smells Like Baking
Makes Mommy Go Something Something
by Kimberly
3y ago
The house smells of its third variation of baked bread. My husband says that this is now our sign of lockdown. I chuckled. When the first wave hit, our son decided that he wanted to learn to bake. With the help of his special education teacher, we incorporated baking into his remote school day. Lemon loaf was the first one he baked because it was the only ingredients we had. It was delicious. My husband has joked that it was I who had a bad habit of collecting bananas in their various stages of life – green to bright yellow to speckled brown and some conveniently sliced and vaccuum packed in t ..read more
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I Sway
Makes Mommy Go Something Something
by Kimberly
3y ago
The moon was just a sliver, like a rip of a nervous thumbnail spat out on a kid’s bedroom floor. We stood in the middle of the yard, him and I swaying. Him to the rhythm of the side effects from the fentanyl patch that was barbarically stapled to his rump and I, a mother, a caregiver, sending calming waves from my heart through the gentle body motions. Hush. I’m here. It’s OK. Swaying is what we all instinctively do as soon as a babe is in our arms, when we see a babe crying in another adult’s arms, when someone isn’t OK, sometimes when we aren’t — We sway to put out those soothing currents. H ..read more
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New Friends
Makes Mommy Go Something Something
by Kimberly
3y ago
Salted? Is today Christmas? You are my favourite patio. This is Chips. He was named for the small missing piece of skin on the top of his right ear. He showed up one day in the fall and was brave enough to peek in our patio window when Moose was sleeping. We fed him ONE time and he adopted us or we adopted him. Look, I don’t really know relationships like this work. He’s adorable. He loves eating and company. So we eat lunch together and talk smack about current world affairs and sometimes about that gangly yappy ankle biting dog four doors down. What a prick. We don’t know where Chips live ..read more
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This Weekend
Makes Mommy Go Something Something
by Kimberly
3y ago
Her purpled gloved hands gently slid up my arm in search of a vein. It was an odd feeling. Not that I was scared of medical professionals. I’ve lived a decade in the profession and almost another as a pin cushion and worse on the other side of scrubs. It was the touch of a stranger and I hated that a year in this world has made me this way. She had no idea that she was the first person outside of my home to touch me in months. I wondered if she knew that she was the first person for so many. It didn’t take her long to spot the freckle, the bullseye right over the juicy antecubital vein. Her ey ..read more
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Rouge
Makes Mommy Go Something Something
by Kimberly
3y ago
I rotated through the same dresses that hung in my pink painted closet. My favourite dress was a saucy yellow number with bold white stripes and tiny polka dots. I’d spin myself sick as it fanned out around me. I was the stem. The hem was the petals. And together we bloomed. Back in those days I never wore anything but dresses. Even when riding a bike, playing in mud, running away from those stupid boys Kevin and Jeremy after making my Barbie kiss their G. I Joe. Cooties were for life! At my grandma’s house, she let me put on her jewelry and high heels. Man, did I ever feel something so elegan ..read more
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Missing The Old Days
Makes Mommy Go Something Something
by Kimberly
3y ago
I used to hang out with two older girls that lived on my street. I never truly fit in with them. They kind of made me feel like I was their little annoying sister, but they let me tag along anyways. One summer afternoon I got invited over to Sammy’s house. She told me to “Sit. Right. There!” and handed me a box of graham crackers and a flashlight. I was instructed to flash the light on the girls when they came out from the other room when the music kicked on. I was a human spotlight who would be rewarded with graham crackers for a job well done. The music kicked on, Sammy flew out of the room ..read more
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About Her
Makes Mommy Go Something Something
by Kimberly
3y ago
On our way home from the specialist, my son asked me to tell him stories about working in the ER. He has always been fascinated with my past life. I grieve her. My body was strong, capable, and I was unaware of its existence at any given time. It moved with fluidity. I was happy, sad, content, disappointed, angry, stressed, at appropriate times. My mind I bet, was not a kitchen drawer of thoughts, fears, and etcetera. I stood confident in thunderously loud trauma bays surrounded by doctors shouting orders at me that I could challenge without breaking a sweat. I nursed your babies, your childre ..read more
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Everything Is Gonna Be Alright
Makes Mommy Go Something Something
by Kimberly
3y ago
Quiet Whisper in the dead of night Tells me everything will be alright If I keep my head to the sky Everything is gonna be alright No snow drifts, black ice, no nothing menacing on the roads, the traffic flowed as it should, the sky even produced a brilliant show of warm colours as we entered into the next city with the radio turned on high and tuned in to the worst songs from our past. And no, we were not embarrassed about the free concert we provided to the passer-by drivers. For a few seconds along their journeys they witnessed a “quality sister act” of unsynchronized arms waving and pump ..read more
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It’s Actually A Good Time
Makes Mommy Go Something Something
by Kimberly
3y ago
She said that if your thoughts get lost in the fog that you can simply come back to the breath and at six in the morning, sitting in the dark living room, I lurched forward in the chair and laughed out loud. As if you can just untangle yourself from all the things on your to-do list you keep putting off and the anxieties that run through every wrinkle of your brain like the dodgy scribblings your kid drew in kindergarten that still hang on your fridge. And what about that grade seven history, French, and math you have to teach your kid because there are thirty other kids in the class but in di ..read more
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Seven
Makes Mommy Go Something Something
by Kimberly
3y ago
He set up “school” in the middle of our living room where the lockdown action is outside of the large picture window – the few cars that travel to work or are coming to deliver food or the unmarked packages we sometimes guess what’s in them. There’s the struggling runners shooting out plumes of smoke as they braved the chill, the happy dogs we always pause for and never not once do we notice who walks them. In the living room it’s where you’ll hear soft music being played, Moose snuggled next to you, and warm vanilla and chocolate swirled in the air as cookies baked in the oven, and mom is jus ..read more
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