Many women unknowingly carry a subtle undercurrent of anxiety. It often lingers beneath the surface, undetected, until it spills into the fabric of everyday life, making it impossible to ignore. Married women in midlife dealing with relationship challenges may experience heightened anxiety. This is particularly true when compounded by the complexities of menopause, the demands of motherhood, navigating relationships with adolescent or adult children, managing careers, and grappling with a pervasive sense of lost identity. The latter often occurs after being in a long-term relationship. The roo ..read more

Joy and pain are perhaps the opposite sides of the same emotional coin. I am reminded of the song by Frankie Beverly & Maze, equating these emotions to the weather, much like it has been over the past few days: glorious sunshine in the crisp winter air followed by unexpected thunderous rain. I resonate with the words of this song. Somehow, it normalises experiences that we all have. Conflict, difficulties and arguments happen in relationships. They do, just like the ups and downs of the weather. Our partners are different from us, and our differences will challenge us occasionally. Learnin ..read more

This post explores the differences between counselling and coaching and how to choose which to support your relationship. Gaining Insight From Books, Podcasts & Friends When tackling specific problems, my go-to is a quick Google search, leading me to book recommendations, podcasts, websites, and YouTube videos for insights. Occasionally, I dive into online courses to deepen my understanding and spark the process of figuring things out. While these resources can provide valuable perspectives, there are moments when we need support beyond books or social media, especially in navigating relat ..read more

I have met many women terrified of being labelled as needy in their relationships. The problem is that the more they resist the unhelpful judgement that goes with labels, the more they deny they have any actual needs. The truth is we all have needs. There is a big difference between having needs and neediness. In this blog, I will outline the difference between the two. Differentiating necessary needs The Oxford English Dictionary defines need as: Require (something) because it is essential or very important rather than just desirable. Human beings have particular essential needs. If these n ..read more

I wonder if we ever really get to know ourselves fully. When I consider the intricacy of all it means to be a human being, I am not sure we do. But we can for sure become more self-aware. And doing that is now a daily practice for me—a practice of curiosity and fascination with myself. I got into the practice of doing that because, in my marriage, I realised I wasn’t as self-aware as I thought! As many people do, I made the mistake of focusing on my spouse and not myself. Like anyone else, I don’t always see aspects of myself. I certainly didn’t know how self-awareness strengthens a marriage ..read more

Healthy responsibility is fundamental in building a strong and thriving relationship, but what does responsibility in a marriage mean? The Oxford Dictionary describes responsibility as:  Having to deal with something or having control over someone. The state or fact of being accountable or to blame for something. Responsibility, therefore, involves being accountable for your actions, choices and commitments within the relationship.   In this blog, we’ll explore the significance of responsibility in marriage and why it is the gateway to moving from conflict to a harmonious and ..read more

Effective communication is the key to any healthy relationship, but it’s not always easy, and couples understandably want to know how to communicate better with each other. Couples get stuck in patterns of miscommunication that lead to frustration and conflict. Conversations feel dissatisfying, sometimes because we are unclear with our words and often because no one is really saying what’s on their mind. In marriage and intimate relationships, it’s vital to have meaningful conversations. To share your needs, wants, and desires with your partner, for those to be heard and for your partner to fe ..read more

Being in a committed long-term relationship is one of the most significant and rewarding things you can do. It’s also one of the hardest. For couples looking to communicate better or for tools to improve their marriage, reading a good marriage book together can help open you to different possibilities. Because no one gave you the manual to deal with what to do when you feel your partner doesn’t listen to you. Or if you’re confused about why you can’t converse respectfully and calmly.  For that reason, it’s ideal for all couples to take the time to read books to improve their marriage  ..read more

We take for granted many things we do in our adult lives, so many things that we learnt or experienced growing up, good or bad. As a therapist, people can get wary when asked to talk about their childhoods. But understanding your partners and your childhood experiences can strengthen your relationship. Our emotional memories stay with us just as much as the practical things like learning to read or riding a bike. My favourite picture is of me, my first school photo, aged five. As far as I can recall, my parents didn’t own a camera, so this was a big day. I must have been really excited. V ..read more

We are well and truly in autumn: a new season but a familiar pattern. Every year the seasons come and go. It’s nature’s predictable and yet often unpredictable cycle. Relationships are the same. They, too, have their seasons. For many couples, the pattern feels unpredictable. A period of what feels like the depth of winter never entirely shifts to make way for spring with all its possibilities. The truth is relationships rarely bask in the continuous summer sunshine. Most are characterised by three main ‘seasons’ or phases. So what are they? Phase 1 – Romance At the beginning of a relationship ..read more