Wait, haven't we been here before? It's funny, I've been wanting to write here again, just because. Not because anyone is really reading, but because I've been writing elsewhere, and writing is so helpful to my mental health. Also, I've had some serious memory issues lately, and my sense of time is distorted. I really appreciate looking back at the things I wrote Once Upon A Time. I looked at the date today and realized it has been exactly four months since I had my left PAO, so I thought it seemed like a good time to check in here and maybe regain some momentum for blogging. I pulled up blo ..read more

Four months, people! Four months! Seeing as how I've gotten super lazy about writing, the four-month mark seemed like a good time to pop in and say hello. My progress continues to be slow and steady, and I'm okay with that. I'm happy. Really, I am. I've been mostly crutch-free for about two weeks now, and unlike other times in my life when I haven't been able to contain my excitement over ditching the crutches, this transition happened slowly and steadily with little fanfare. I've been weaning off of crutches over the past month or so, and I'm almost done. This recovery is about more than jus ..read more

Alright, I've been slacking. I've been spending a lot of time - probably too much time - with my Facebook PAO group, which fulfills a lot of the same purpose as writing here. I'm sharing all my challenges, frustrations, and [small] victories there. I've also been busy working, coaching, and getting back to my normal life. Wait... did I say getting back to my normal life? Whoa. OMG, is that really true?! It's hard to believe, but it is really true. It is mostly good, and I've slipped back into my normal life with little fanfare or celebration; it just kind of happened. And it's great. Unfortuna ..read more

In case you didn't catch it, the title of this post is a play on the title À la recherche du temps perdu, or In Search of Lost Time, a book that I had the great fortune (not; that's sarcasm) of reading in college. In French. It's not actually the most accurate title for this post, but I just couldn't resist. Anyhoo, one of my friends posted an article on Facebook yesterday that ended up being a game-changer for me. I'm pretty picky about about the articles I read from my Facebook feed, but I'm a sucker for certain types of articles, especially the ones that tell you how you can be happier and ..read more

I've been feeling strangely emotional all day, on the verge of bawling my eyes out. Yesterday I intended to write a happy post about how I was able to walk around my house and even from my office to the copy machine, and how it wouldn't be long before I was walking again. And then this morning, I woke up and both my hips hurt quite a bit, because I've been overdoing it, pushing myself too hard. I went to PT and I was so excited about walking that I ignored the pain and went to my appointment without crutches, just to show Jerry that I could walk. Of course he remarked immediately that I wasn't ..read more

I had a surprisingly great day today, so I just have to document it. I worry that this blog is too much WOE IS ME, so I should make an effort to write about the good days, lest you get the impression I'm all gloom and doom (even though I am, hahaha). I can't begin to describe the level of exhaustion I've felt over the past week. My body is still adjusting to going back to work, and on top of this, it's exam week, so I've been grading, grading, grading, and more grading. Also, yesterday, I had to cover a class for a colleague. The class was one that was originally mine, but that I passed off t ..read more

This roller coaster. Wow. Just earlier tonight, I started composing this entry in my head, about how defeated I am feeling. I am just so damn exhausted all of the time, and completely overwhelmed with work. But I keep pushing through. I'm trying to eat well, rest when I can, do my PT exercises when I can, and I honestly feel like I can't push myself any harder. Yet, my recovery continues to be painfully slow. Today, I spent most of the day on the couch, grading. UGH. I absolutely, positively DESPISE grading. While grading, I was also semi-watching some minimally interesting college football ..read more

Warning: This is going to be one of my philosophical, over-the-top emo posts, without much substance. I haven't been writing as much as I want to, partly because I haven't really been able to understand what I'm feeling enough to put it into words. Even when I do write, I feel like I'm always starting with some sort of disclaimer along the lines of I don't really know how to describe what I'm feeling, but listen to this bullshit anyway. Or something like that. I now fully understand what it is that I'm feeling, and I can describe it in a single word. More than anything else, I am  TIRE ..read more

I don't really have words to describe how I'm feeling right now, but I'm going to write anyway. I'm going through such a ridiculous range of emotions - from positive to negative to just plain old blaaaaah, I can't wait for this life to be over. AM I DEAD YET? Nope, okay, well then, I might as well live while I'm still alive. Get busy living or get busy dying. Part of my major, major stress is that I have to go back to work on Monday, September 11th. What a day, huh? And when it rains, it pours. My husband is leaving for a work trip on Sunday, and not returning for a week. So that's a lot. A L ..read more

When I was younger, I was a fairly hard core thrill-seeker. I loved taking risks, pushing the envelope, and going on scary amusement park rides. I couldn't get enough of them. A lot of my thrill-seeking behavior was satisfied by doing gymnastics and, later, diving. These sports are not for people who don't like at least a little bit of an adrenaline rush on a daily basis. Interestingly, because I'm apparently stoic and unemotional on the outside, many of my teammates assumed I was fearless. But the truth is, I was terrified, pretty much every day. I just did shit anyway, because I was young an ..read more