My first trip back to Connecticut after moving to Florida. Summer of 1989. I’ve never had a problem sharing my truth. In my life, each time I’ve shared my story, it’s made me stronger. To speak the truth frees you in a way that medication, alcohol, and therapy do not. Once you speak your truth out loud, you must deal with it. You can’t bury it in your mind again and ignore it. Well, you could, but that would be foolish. This is a personal story. It has nothing to do with my life as a flight attendant, or does it? If I stretch my truth enough, I’m sure that the love my grandparents showed me, a ..read more

This is a satirical article. It’s okay to laugh, I promise. Ticket Price We understand that your round trip ticket from JFK to LAX was only $8.00, but that doesn’t mean you can occupy an empty seat in the exit row. That, my friend, is a $500 upgrade. Will that be credit or debit? Never mind, I’m not allowed to touch you — back to your original seat. Overhead Bin Space It’s still one bag in the overhead bin and one personal carry on bag under the seat in front of you. Keep that in mind while flying during the COVID 19 pandemic. Once flights are full again, you won’t win the carry on bag argume ..read more

The airport was quiet. Apocalyptic. That awkward silence that leaves you feeling out of place. Airports thrive on chaos. Families pulling way too many kids towards their flight to Orlando. Businessmen traveling with only a small bag on their way to DCA for the day. Airline crew laughing and joking as they stroll to the gate for a long flight to Tokyo. That was not the case. As I walked through the airport, I started snapping photos. I wanted to capture the vibe of the airport. The desolate space that’s usually full of life. Black and white photographs thrill me. Black and white photograp ..read more

My husband, Matt, asked, “Why haven’t they canceled your recurrent? This seems irresponsible on their part.” I replied, “I don’t know. You’d think they’d cancel it, but they haven’t. And please stop asking me because I don’t know why the hell they do half the shit they do.” I was already heading into recurrent with a nasty attitude. Not only had they not canceled the recurrent class, but the week before, I had emailed the recurrent scheduler to ask if I could extend my night stay at the airline hotel. My airline has its own hotel, so I didn’t think it was asking too much. My emai ..read more

If you are looking for a few great books to dive into this new year, this article has you covered. Just grab a bottle of wine, a glass, and enjoy. Side note: the glass is optional.  Whether I’m on the jumpseat flying 5,000 miles or sitting in my comfortable bedroom reading chair, I always have a great book within reach. At the end of 2018, I read an article where a man read 200 books in a year. That’s a lot of words to consume in 365 days. This 200 book reader gave up television, social media, and — I’d imagine — Pornhub. I can’t give up Pornhub (It’s not that I can’t, I won’t). With ..read more

That’s me, a few cousins, and my dear friend, Matt, on November 10, 1979. My seventh birthday. Weeks after this picture, I’d sit at my grandmother’s table and learn how to say, “Nineteen eighty.” It’s such a vivid memory, I cling to it when searching for any childhood happiness.The year 2000 was twenty years ago!  I think I need a glass of wine. On December 17, 1979, I had been seven years old for a little over a month and was ecstatic that a new year was rapidly approaching. In fact, 1979 may be the first year when I understood how a calendar works. And I can thank my grandmother for t ..read more

I often wonder what is going on inside the mind of a gate agent. I will never know, but if I was to make an educated guess, I’d say they are focused on one thing and one thing only, seating passengers on the airplane and getting the flight out on time. And checking their text messages and Facebook app between flights while hiding behind the gate. What? Truth hurts. Listen, Lizzo is not the only one who can use that term. The other day a buddy of mine contacted me about a situation that occurred on one of his flights. A situation that most flight attendants and pilots have dealt ..read more

Bored at work? Need to stare at something OTHER than Instagram or Pornhub? Want a good laugh or chuckle? Check out thirty of the best Flight Attendant Joe memes of 2019. Other Flight Attendant Joe Posts Pairing: He Talks To Jesus and Jenny McCarthy Pairing: The Middle Seat Blues The Dos and Don’ts of Flying on An Airplane You Did Not Buy That Airplane Seat 10 Things That Will Get You Kicked Off Your Flight… And Possibly Arrested! Joe Thomas is a writer ..read more

I’ve been flying standby for almost twelve years. In those years, I’ve aged drastically. Technically I should be thirty-five years young, but after all those years of tension, anxiety, and the occasional stomach cramping from fret that I wouldn’t make it on the flight, I’m hunched over, achy, and forty-seven. That’s a joke. But seriously, you do the math. That’s 144 months of middle seats, getting bumped by revenue passengers, and almost losing my shit not making it on flights. That’s soul-crushing. Listen, you only need to sit in the Helsinki, Finland airport waiting for a boarding ..read more

What’s wrong with these airline employees lately? An American Airlines mechanic was recently arrested for sabotaging an airplane that carried 150 passengers on its way from Miami to the Bahamas. When I first read the CNN article, I had to stop, refill my coffee cup, and then restart reading it from the beginning. That’s the type of mindboggling news this was to me; I had to get more coffee to continue. That’s not saying much, I usually watch the nightly news with a bottle of red wine by my side. The mechanic’s name is, Abdul-Majeed Marouf Ahmed Alani ( I dare you to try and say th ..read more