*Afternoon chronicles of a chauffeur mom* 2:15 - Leave work 2:30 - Pick up boys at babysitter 3:00 - Pick up kiddos from school one 3:15 - Drop kids home 3:30 - Pick up kiddo from school two 3:45 - Bring kiddo to visit 4:15 - Sit in parking lot for 30 min waiting for worker & mom 4:30 - Pick up kiddo at school three 4:45 - Bring kiddo to doctor 5:30 - Arrive home 6:30 - Pick up kiddo from visit Of course, not listed is the two hours of running around to get us out the door & the hour of drop offs that followed, the full day of work & emails & writing & meetings, and the d ..read more

Pictures are a gift. They’re perpetually happy. They’re peaceful. They don’t hit their siblings. It’s delightful. I can see a picture and stop for a moment and sit in gratitude of the blessing of this life of mine—without the arguing or pooping or spilling cereal across the floor or kicking holes in the wall or getting calls from the principal or stealing candy or eye rolling or “but momming” or streaking or coloring on the walls or crying or... But all of that isn’t the unfortunate byproduct of family. It is family. The teaching and the forgiving and the healing and the redemption in it al ..read more

Real talk: Sometimes, I regret jumping into this life of foster care & adoption. I crave normal. I resent the hard. I grieve the loss. I long for ease. It will all hit at once, and l’ll spend a day in tears and pity, wishing & weeping & wanting. But then I remember. The God who’s brought me here. Who’s carried me before and carries me still. Who despite it all, and in it all, has blessed me deeply. And I get up & stand again on the promises I own in Him. I re-place my trust, refocus on the mission, rejoice in all I have. And I rediscover, again, the great joy of this life I ..read more

This deserves a spot on my feed because: A) Bella in glasses is peak Bella. She is so stinking cute & it’s just so on brand for her, I can’t even stand in. B) I’m trying to keep it real. I had *no idea* that she had a vision problem until she failed her screening at the pediatrician recently. I was absolutely shocked. The doctor: “She can’t see.” Bella: “I told you!” Me: “You did?!” Mom fail. ?? When you share your life in this space, people are tricked into thinking you’re some kind of super mom. I try to tell you I’m not, but I know that Instagram is a liar, even if I try not to be. N ..read more

We all know the story. The disciples are on a boat in the middle of the night when they see Jesus walking towards them—literally, actually, real life walking on water. Peter, eager as ever, wants Jesus to know that if He calls him to join him on the water, he’ll follow. Jesus calls and—eyes fixed directly on Him—Peter steps onto the water, ready to walk. But then the reality of it all overwhelms him, he takes his eyes off the Savior, and he sinks. “Drowning” is a word I’ve been using a lot recently. I’m drowning—drowning in children, drowning in tasks, drowning in my emotions and everyone el ..read more

These girls of ours understand what it means to welcome a child through foster care. They remember their own experiences, make connections to their own lives. Continuing to welcome kids in our home has brought up a lot of questions and started many conversations with these two. And usually, what I’ve expected to be triggering, has most often been healing. Triggers aren’t meant to be avoided (forever). They reveal places that are broken, so that healing can take place. When our kids are ready, triggers can be opportunities—to process, to grow, to heal. I think the love my girls have for thei ..read more

To the friends & family of foster & adoptive parents: there’s something we need to say to you… Parenting kids from trauma is hard. It’s messy. It’s confusing. It’s not about getting results, and it’s never a quick fix. Because trauma parenting isn’t (just) about changing behavior. It’s about healing. Our kids come to us with brains & bodies & beliefs that have been changed by the things they’ve been through. So now we partner with them in their healing, meeting them where they are and hopefully leading them to a better place. Our kids’ behavior may confuse you. You should kn ..read more

Parenting a child with an insecure attachment might mean a redefining of what connection & affection look like. One of my kids approached, pencil & pad in hand, and wordlessly handed me this note. I pulled the pad from their hand and wrote back, “I love you most. Forever.” They looked at the note and without lifting their eyes from the paper-no hug, no smile, no picture perfect display of affection-whispered, barely audibly, “...I’m going to go put this under my pillow...” and ran off. If I was too busy mourning the moments that never happen, I would miss the beautiful moments of co ..read more

“Mom? Do you want to hug me?” I was in the kitchen doing dishes when he asked. “Yes! I actually want to hug you very, very much.” I turned off the water, pulled him into my arms, and joined him on the couch. Sometimes we’re so busy doing for our kids that we neglect being with them, seeing them, enjoying them. My kids need so much from me. They need me to serve & work & do. But what they need most from me is just *me*—hugging, playing, listening, looking into their eyes, teaching, laughing, talking, loving. It’s an impossible balancing act, so if I’m going to fall to one side rathe ..read more

The command to show hospitality is all throughout Scripture. “Do not neglect to show hospitality…” (Heb 13:2) “Show hospitality…” (1 Peter 4:9) “Seek to show hospitality…” (Romans 12:13) And countless other passages. But we’ve misdefined “hospitality” to mean something more like “entertainment.” Lavish spreads, fancy meals, friends & family laughing together. The Greek word for hospitality is “Philoxenia.” “Philo” meaning love and “Xenia”meaning strangers. So hospitality is best defined as “loving strangers.” The Biblical understanding of “Philoxenia” would be the law or custom of offe ..read more