When we start paying attention to our feelings and reactions, almost as if by magic, patterns begin to come into view. With patterns comes power. Because of two things. First, noticing patterns puts you back in the driver’s seat. You are less and less captive to unconscious reactions or behaviors. Even if you can’t kick it just then, recognizing that this isn’t “you” but some looping script from the past, enables you to start to change it. Patterns want you to believe that they are you – that this crazy reaction or habit or decision or go-to maneuver is you, you at your best, you doing what ..read more

So far, we’ve talked about the significance of stress, the manifestations of stress, to pay attention to how stress feels in our bodies, and so on. But what are we listening for? “It’s all well and good to pay attention to by body, but what am I supposed to do with that information?” I got you. Listen for what your stress is telling you. I know that sounds simple, but all too often we get stuck in the feeling or the reaction and we stew and simmer there, justifying ourselves or stoking the coals of our resentment or frustration. We hardly ever go deeper. Once you’ve identified that you ..read more

Stress is fascinating. The way we understand stress has changed over the years. For years, psychologists and thinkers approached stress pretty one-dimensionally: something stressful happens that affects someone, and that someone feels stress. Aaaand… done. (*slap hands clean*cue satisfied look*) In recent decades, however, we noticed that it isn’t so simple. Different people respond to the same stimuli differently – so it can’t be a simple one-to-one causal relationship. A person might respond to the same stimulus differently at different times (of day, of life, of circumstances). The pict ..read more

Something we are rarely aware of is how much of our stress is rising not from present circumstances but from earlier experiences, memories and baggage that we are not even conscious of. Recent neuropsychological research has revealed that our memory isn’t quite everything that it seems, and that when we are most affected by it we might not realize we are remembering something at all. Basically, there are two kinds of memory. The first is probably what you are thinking of when you think of “memories.” Those we know, can remember, or, even when we can’t remember exactly where we experienced t ..read more

One of the most interesting scientific confirmations of common sense to take place in the 20th century was the discovery of a specific sort of neuron in the human brain whose sole purpose is to perceive what other people are feeling - often by attending to micro-movements or facial expressions that go unnoticed by the conscious mind. These neurons seek this information because we are a social species, and our evolutionary survival depended on us understanding and matching the emotional or alert level of those around us: are we safe, do we eat now, should we run or laugh or make love, and so ..read more

An important first step in understanding stress - what it means for us, how to interpret it, how to respond to it - is to ground oneself in an awareness of where in one's body one is feeling the stress. Read that again. Notice that what I said is not about "ideas" or "reasons." The first step in paying transformative attention to stress is to notice what we are feeling in our body, and where we are feeling it. This attending-to-sensation does a number of things. First, it "grounds" us in the present and what we are experiencing at that moment. We are less drawn out of ourselves - physicall ..read more

Stress Awareness Month - Insight #1 (of 12) All our feelings are 'good.' Even the unpleasant ones. They're good because they are information about what our subconscious thinks are our needs, wants, and desires. Stress is a signal from ourselves that something needs attending to, something needs to be changed or done to make things better, there is a need that is not being met. Before the first 'step' toward managing our stress better is recognizing that the stress (our physical or emotional reactions) is not the enemy, not a bad thing, not a threat or something to be denied or conquered or pu ..read more

Last year's book Transformation Trance Formation has undergone revision and a second edition! After a successful soft-release in mid-November, it is now available at bookstores, online, and... for a limited time to celebrate the new release, you can save 25% by ordering directly HERE! (or click on the image below ..read more

The scope of issues that transgender individuals (and their loved ones) encounter is both broad and intense. Because of the nature of transgender identity itself there are a myriad additional considerations and stressors at play within trans people. Layer on top of that the social and political questions, issues, stressors and difficulties, not to mention the usual variety of questions, soul-searching and exploration associated with growing up, and it is clear: being transgender requires an extraordinary wealth of strength of character, perseverance, and unusual insight. And the sad reality i ..read more

Before the official release date of November 15, you can purchase a copy of my newest book for a discounted price at Lulu.com! Transformation Trance Formation is a down-to-earth introduction to hypnosis and how we program ourselves (and are programmed by our experiences). It ends with a sophisticated but simple self-hypnosis technique that can help you start taking control of your life, and start enjoying your own best self right away ..read more