As a sex therapist in New York City, I help individual clients and couples who are having problems with premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction and other sexual related problems.  Problems With Premature Ejaculation What is Premature Ejaculation? Premature ejaculation is a common problem. It's estimated that as many as 1 in 3 men suffer from premature ejaculation at any given time.   Premature ejaculation is a treatable condition, so if you have been avoiding getting help, please reconsider this because you don't need to continue to suffer with this condit ..read more

 In my prior articles  Being in the Role of the Affair Partner (the "Other Woman" or the "Other Man"), I discussed some of the common dynamics involved with being the affair partner with information from a podcast called "Reigniting Love" (see my article: How the "Other Woman" or "Other Man" in an Affair Can Keep the Primary Relationship Together). Healing the Pain of Being an Affair Partner In the current article, I'm focusing on how an affair partner can heal from the painful experience of being in an affair, which is also inspired by a "Reimagining Love ..read more

On a recent "Reimagining Love" podcast called "When You're the Affair Partner," podcast host Dr. Alexandra Solomon focused on affair partners, also known as the "other woman" or the "other man" (see my article: How the "Other Woman" or "Other Man" in an Affair Can Keep the Primary Relationship Together). The Role of the Affair Partner In her discussion she distinguished these nonconsensual nonmonogamous relationships from consensual nonmonogamous relationships where all parties involved know about and consent to nonmonogamy. This was a compassionate discussion about bei ..read more

Knowing the difference between privacy and secrecy is essential, especially if you're in a relationship. Privacy vs Secrecy in a Relationship Although sharing the vulnerable parts of yourself is important for having a strong emotional connection in your relationship, everyone is entitled to privacy, so knowing the difference between privacy and secrecy is important. What's the Difference Between Privacy and Secrecy in a Relationship? Here are brief descriptions of privacy vs secrecy so you can compare the two lists to see the difference: Privacy Privacy in a relationship re ..read more

Many women complain that their husband's porn viewing makes them feel angry, anxious and insecure.   They say that discovering their husband's porn use makes them feel self conscious about their own bodies, especially when they see images of beautiful naked women in the porn their husband is watching. Stop Getting Into Power Struggles About Porn Some women also say they think mainstream porn is "disgusting" because it's degrading and exploitive of women and against their own moral values. Now that the Internet provides access to pornography 24/7, more couples are getting ..read more

Pegging has become a much talked about topic in recent years, but not everyone understands what the term means, so pegging is the focus of this article. What is Pegging? Pegging usually refers to a woman wearing a strap on dildo and penetrating a man's anus. Pegging: A Consensual Act Between a Man and a Woman Some people believe that pegging violates traditional gender norms because the woman is penetrating the man instead of the man penetrating the woman. However, as long as pegging occurs between consenting adults, there's nothing wrong with it.   Since pegging ..read more

This article focuses on philophobia (a fear of falling in love) and how you can overcome this debilitating fear (see my article: An Emotional Dilemma: Wanting and Dreading Love).  What is Philophobia? The word philophobia comes from Greek. Philos means loving and phobos is fear. Philophobia: A Fear of Falling in Love Philophobia, which is a type of phobia, is not in the Diagnostic Statistical Manual (DSM), the manual used by psychotherapists to diagnose mental health disorders. However, the term philophobia describes a dynamic that therapists often see in clients who have ex ..read more

If you have ever used dating apps to meet people, you know you can meet many different people before you meet someone you really like. Unfortunately, feelings aren't always mutual.  How to Stop Being His or Her Backup Plan You might be interested in someone who really wants to be with someone else and vice versa.   This isn't unusual. But if you find that your pattern is to see people who make you their "backup plan," you might want to rethink your dating patterns. What is a Backup Plan in Dating and Relationships? A backup plan is considered a second choice.&nbs ..read more

Carl Jung, the Swiss psychoanalyst, popularized the concept of the "shadow self." He believed that everyone has a shadow self that conflicts with an ideal version of how they want to see themselves.  In this article I'm focusing on identifying the shadow self and the benefits of understanding and integrating those parts instead of trying to suppress them (see my article: What You Resist Persists: The More You Resist What You Don't Like About Yourself the More It Persists). What is the Shadow Self? The shadow self consists of the parts of yourself, including thoughts, feelings and b ..read more

In a prior article, What You Resist Persists, I discussed how resisting what you don't like about yourself only makes it stronger. Making Friends With Your Inner Critic In the current article, I'm focusing on how to make friends with your inner critic. What is Your Inner Critic? As I mentioned in Overcoming the Inner Critic, no one is born with an inner critic. It usually develops at a young age. Children internalize the negative messages they receive from their parents and other authority figures in their life.   Most of the time, these messages aren't meant ..read more