GomerBlog - OB-GYN
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Obstetrics and Gynecology medical satire articles from GomerBlog.
GomerBlog - OB-GYN
2y ago
NEW YORK, NY—Not wanting to get caught with egg on their faces or poop in their hands, maternity wards throughout New York City have started stockpiling billions of diapers in preparation for the expected onslaught of pandemic babies later this year and into early 2021.
“We don’t want to be in a similar situation that our Intensive Care Units faced when they had a severe shortage of ventilators,” said Dr. Pam Purze, Chair of the Ob/Gyn Department at Manhattan Medical Center. “Just as ventilators are vital to support failing lungs in the ICU, diapers are equally vital to support failing anal s ..read more
GomerBlog - OB-GYN
2y ago
SOUTH BURLINGTON, VT—The line outside the new Ben & Jerry’s Women’s Health Clinic extended for at least 3 miles as people waited for the clinic to open its doors for the first time earlier today. The long line may have been, in part, due to a special promotion—Free Cone Biopsy Day—to mark this special occasion. Indeed, all female customers get a free cone-shaped biopsy of their cervix today.
Normally, a pelvic exam, Pap smear, and, if needed, a colposcopy are performed first in the evaluation of the cervix. “But in honor of opening day,” said an enthusiastic Ben, “we’re skipping right to ..read more
GomerBlog - OB-GYN
2y ago
ATLANTA, GA – The novel coronavirus hasn’t even peaked and emergency room personnel are already overwhelmed. In an act of goodwill, everyone is pitching in, including area OB-GYNs. Unfortunately, they’re doing it all wrong: they’re swabbing vaginas for COVID-19.
According to current guidelines, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention recommends collecting and testing upper respiratory specimens i.e. nasopharyngeal swab.
“It’s hard to break habits I guess, I’m not used to being around the head and neck area,” said OB/GYN Dr. Ella Jarrett of Atlanta Medical Center, who swabbed 9 vagina ..read more
GomerBlog - OB-GYN
2y ago
The Double FOB: who has two women on the floor pregnant at the same time
The Lurker: TOLAC with a four-page birth plan who wants to labor at home
The Mystery: A patient who speaks a language for which there is no interpreter
The Threat: FOB escorted out by security
The Mule: Illicit drugs found in body cavity
The Cheating Bisexual: a patient with sperm in the vagina on microscopic rule-out rupture exam who comes in with her same-sex partner
The Guilty Party: fighting with FOB about who’s responsible for a new STI diagnosis in triage
The Mama Mia: someone in labor with two (or more) potential ..read more
GomerBlog - OB-GYN
2y ago
WASHINGTON, D.C. – How can you tell if your OB/GYN is cool? Well, the coolest OB/GYNs perform pelvic examinations with the use of head mirrors, this according to an official report from the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG).
Other than the stethoscope, the head mirror is the medical instrument most often affiliated with doctors, particularly in cartoons and caricatures, though its use in modern medicine has steadily declined, at least among general practitioners.
“It takes considerable skill to perform an appropriate pelvic exam and it takes considerable skill to mast ..read more
GomerBlog - OB-GYN
2y ago
BOCA RATON, FL—“Push, push, push!” yelled the hospital staff at a patient who was intensely laboring. But surprisingly, this scene was not taking place in the Labor & Delivery ward, and even more shocking, the patient was a man. How can that be, you wonder? It turns out this man was among the first patients who checked into the brand new Paternity Ward at Boca Health Center, and he was currently parked in front of the ward’s gorgeous poker table, “laboring” over whether to follow the staff’s recommendation to “push” his chips all in.
That’s right, the hospital that previously introduced t ..read more
GomerBlog - OB-GYN
2y ago
EVANSTON, IL—In one more push to offer fresh amenities to their patients, Labor and Delivery units are now employing Social Media Doulas to assist in the delivery of real-time birthing posts. Chelsea Malcolm, OB nurse administrator at St. Isidore Hospital, says the skills of the Social Media Doula allow new parents to focus on getting to know their baby while ensuring that their entire social network can, too.
Since they began offering the benefit earlier this year, Social Media Doulas at St. Isidore have created over 300 posts, including four Facebook Live events, for a pilot group of two do ..read more
GomerBlog - OB-GYN
2y ago
PHILADELPHIA, PA: Orthopedic surgery resident Rob Abington was recently recognized by the American Academy of Orthopedic Surgeons for performing the first open reduction with internal fixation of a uterus.
The patient was a 76-year-old woman who had undergone surgical repair of a broken hip earlier in the day. While on call, Abington received a page from the patient’s nurse because the patient was complaining of pelvic discomfort. “Since I’ve always been comfortable with pelvises, if you know what I mean, I thought that all this lady needed was some reassurance,” Abington recounts.
Upon arriv ..read more
GomerBlog - OB-GYN
2y ago
BOCA RATON, FL—The proliferation of new fertility treatments, including in-vitro fertilization, and the decision by many women to delay parenthood in order to pursue professional careers has led to a phenomenon never thought possible in generations past: Women are becoming pregnant at very advanced ages—even 35 and above! Obstetricians, who were trained to treat only young women, have recognized this situation as a global dilemma. However, one particular hospital, Boca Health Center (BHC), has a promising solution: Last week, it opened a brand new geriatric maternity ward geared towards mothe ..read more
GomerBlog - OB-GYN
2y ago
GomerBlog returns to help distinguish between two similar but often confused entities.
The “G” in G-tube refers to “gastric” or “gastrostomy.” A G-tube is a type of feeding tube in which a tube is inserted through the abdominal wall directly into the stomach so that nutrition can be provided. The G-spot should not be reached by going through the abdominal wall.
The “G” in G-spot does not refer to “gastric” or gastrostomy.” Instead, it refers to the last name of Ernst Grafenberg, the German gynecologist who found it. Some argue the “G” also stands for “Germany” and “gynecology,” but this hasn ..read more