KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACT A pressure hose is firing in the Betoota Workers Club this afternoon after local kitchen staff decided it was time to clean out the fridge that displays desserts. Having spent the last decade humming quietly next to the ordering counter, the 160L Polar G-Series display fridge was reportedly in need of […] The post Local Bistro Hoses Out Display Fridge After Realising Cheesecakes Have Sat There Since 2014 appeared first on The Betoota Advocate ..read more

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Right across the continent today, the bright blue sky is saturated in the the light golden apricity, beaming down on the eyelids and exposed wrists of a freezing nation. This delightful change in weather comes as hundreds of thousands of Australians face economic ruin, and many more live in constant fear of having […] The post Final Friday Of Dry July Quite The Fucking Punish With The Midwinter Arvo Sun Pumping Like This appeared first on The Betoota Advocate ..read more

KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACT A local bachelor’s mood has become a little brighter this week with the realisation that this year’s bitter winter is almost over, and summer is most definitely coming. Standing at the 312 bus stop in Betoota Heights, waiting for his express bus to take him to his stale office in the […] The post Warm July Day Inspires Local Bachelor To Begin Researching A New Axe For Summer appeared first on The Betoota Advocate ..read more

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A recent report has concluded that the once dominant second hand marketplace of gumtree has been devastated by the rise of facebook marketplace, rendering it to nothing more than a playground for scammers to roll unsuspecting baby boomers. Much like the way a koala munches on the leaves of the tree the site […] The post Rise Of FB Marketplace Leaves Baby Boomers And Scammers As Last Remnants Of Gumtree appeared first on The Betoota Advocate ..read more

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Former New South Wales Premier Gladys Berejiklian has lost her appeal against being found corrupt by the state’s corruption watchdog. Last year, the Independent Commission Against Corruption (ICAC) found that Gladys Berejiklian had engaged in corrupt conduct after helping her secret boyfriend, Wagga MP Darryl Maguire, secure funding for […] The post Corrupt Former Premier To Remain Corrupt After Court Dismisses Appeal appeared first on The Betoota Advocate ..read more

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A jacked up shark has caused a serious scene on one of Brazil’s beaches today, after going for a tourist in Rio Di Janeiro. A foreign citizen enjoying a swim on one of the beaches in the iconic international city has reportedly lost an ear, after having it chewed off by a coked […] The post Coked Up Shark In Brazil Chews Local Swimmer’s Ear Off appeared first on The Betoota Advocate ..read more

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A Sydney woman who fully intends to send it this weekend has found herself marvelling in the differences between lifestyles of her mates back home in Betoota, who appear to be fast tracking their way through life’s milestones, it’s reported. Flicking through an Instagram story of her best mate from year three, whose […] The post City Woman Prepares For Tonight’s Rave While Watching IG Story Of Hometown Friend’s Kid Win Primary School Award appeared first on The Betoota Advocate ..read more

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In terrific news for the property developer billionaires that are facing industrial disputes with their workers on the jobsites of high-rise luxury apartment and major government infrastructure builds, it appears that the allegations are true! It can today be confirmed that the pesky construction arm of the CFMEU are Australia’s modern day equivalent […] The post Underworld Links Confirmed As CFMEU Delegate Unable To Turn Down A Cashie On Day Of His Daughter’s Wedding appeared first on The Betoota Advocate ..read more

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation’s favourite sporting team is currently doing a little bit of soul searching after a tough day on the tools. This comes after the Matildas fell 3-0 to European footballing powerhouses Germany, in their opening game of the 2024 Paris Olympics. That disappointing result comes as a hammer blow for the Tillies […] The post Matildas’ Performance Blamed On Not Playing In A Country That Actually Turns Out For Soccer appeared first on The Betoota Advocate ..read more

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A local online financial coach who spent most of 2021 proselytizing the epic rise of NFT’s is now wondering if you’d be interested in buying his online money-making course. Vincent Fiducia (30), prides himself on being on the cutting edge of money making schemes that take little to no effort, while also being […] The post Man Who Already Burnt These Bridges During His 2021 NFT Era Now Trying To Sell Online Coach Courses  appeared first on The Betoota Advocate ..read more