They say life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans. I say life is what happens when you’re trying desperately not to make medical appointments. Remember how I wanted the month of August off? Well, I have four new appointments now, five total. The one with Dr. Oncologist has been on the books […] The post Life is What Happens appeared first on Emily Suess ..read more

You know me, I can’t not post about Joe Biden withdrawing his nomination and endorsing Kamala Harris for president. This whole election cycle has been a shitshow, but this is the most coordinated I’ve seen the Democrats look in, well, ever. And I am enthusiastic about that. Very much so. I will never fawn over a candidate, because they all have to be human and whatnot. However, I believe a couple of things about Joe Biden: 1.) He acts in good faith, and 2.) He genuinely cares what happens to Americans. I don’t want to be misunderstood. When it comes to his dealings with Netanyahu, for example ..read more

If there’s a way to be in abdominal pain and not also spiral into anxiety, someone out there please tell me what it is. Please. I was up at 4:30 this morning again with intestinal distress. It was a mixed bag for me, emotionally. On one hand, I understand that the reason I still feel terrible is that this is not over. On the other hand, why is this still not over?! When I don’t feel good, which is all the time these days, I watch Bob’s Burgers a lot. I recently saw the episode where Louise has an over-night with her class at the aquarium and gets constipated. Then I saw the Superbowl episode w ..read more

Seeing how I ordered myself a grocery care package from Walmart and I was approved this week for Walmart’s affiliate program, I thought I’d share what IBS relief stuff is being delivered today. If you’re not sure what happened this week, you probably missed yesterday’s post: And So It Was That I Pooped Today. Brief disclaimer since this is the internet: I’m disabled, but not so disabled I don’t delete comments from people who try to shame me about accessible delivery services, packaging, and whatnot. Now on with the show… My IBS Relief Must-Haves Peppermint Probiotic Tea Peppermint tea ..read more

I’ve spent the last three days wondering if emergency surgery would be required to clear a bowel obstruction. Here’s the thing. If me talking about poop troubles you in any way for any reason, you need to find something else to read. I have IBS, zero qualms, and a bag of edibles making me feel pretty bold right now. I promise you I can’t be bothered to care whether this topic makes you squirm. Plus there are people out there who need me to write about this as much as I need to tell the tale. Last night I went to bed near tears, my abdomen hurt so much. I spent most of the late afternoon using ..read more

First off, it’s Prime Day. Jeff Bezos sucks, but some of us still rely on Amazon. I’m asking for help from people that shop there, not asking people to abandon their convictions. Use that link up there, and if you buy anything today, Amazon’s referral program will help me pay some bills. Speaking of (medical) bills. I’m pushing my GoFundMe again in anticipation of my upcoming lung biopsy. Please share a link with someone. https://gofund.me/6cbb2136 My blog subscription emails are only going out a few times a week now. MailChimp won’t send them out without me forking over money because I’m blog ..read more

A forty-four year old woman can be absolutely certain that something is the right thing to do and still pout and whine about it. Ask me how I know. My oncologist called and reminded me there was that matter of the nodule on my lung that showed up in the last CT scan. With all the lupus stuff preoccupying my tumored brain, I’d forgotten about it. He didn’t though. He recommended a biopsy, reasoning that if it is cancer, it’d be so easy to treat right now. A little zap and voila! Early detection and all that jazz. I know he is absolutely right. But I also know my body’s proclivity for racking up ..read more

I’m thinking a lot of things about the shooting at the Trump rally in Pennsylvania, and most of them aren’t fit to be published. When the Supreme Court ruled earlier this month on presidential immunity, I said out loud to two people that someone was probably going to try to shoot him, seeing how willing McConnell, SCOTUS, and Republicans have been to slather him in Country Crock before he wriggles through the cracks. I don’t say that to toot my own horn because I’m so smart, but I say it to illustrate how predictable all of this is. It’s Saturday night that I’m writing this, by the way, and I ..read more

I’ve only taken two 1/2 pills so far, but I feel different inside. Couldn’t say for sure if it’s the hope or the hydroxychloroquine, but damn. I want food. I feel connected to my memories. I don’t feel like I’m as packed-too-painfully tight in my own skin. That’s the thing about chronic pain. Just the slightest bit of relief changes everything while your body struggles to understand what’s going on. Sometimes when the pain inexplicably recedes, panic takes over and the anxiety cranks up. I wonder if I’m truly feeling better or just malfunctioning more.  It’s funny to ponder those things a ..read more

Yesterday’s appointment with the rheumatologist went so much better than I was expecting.  “Did you see your lab results?” the NP asked as a way of determining just how much she needed to explain. “I looked at them,” I said deflated. “From what I understand, they are inconclusive.” “Yes and no.” She explained my results as essentially this: they can’t confirm a diagnosis of lupus, but they also can’t rule it out. The NP says “It’s always lupus” btw. HOWEVER, there is clearly some funky autoimmune stuff happening, and she and the doctor wondered how I felt about trying Plaquenil (hy ..read more