A comment posted on Divorced Girl Smiling by a newly separated man: I’ve been married to my best friend for over 10 years and we have beautiful kids. I’m not a drunk, I don’t hit anything or anyone and I’ve supported all of her ambitions to include her pursuit of higher education. We’ve had rough patches both made some stupid choices but made it thru, never back stepping. Every move made for the better. But now she wants a divorce. Why? Because she ” lost that feeling.” Can we go to counseling honey? NO!! Can we try and talk about it? NO! It’s over, people change! That’s all I get from the per ..read more

This is an email I received from a 50 something year-old divorced guy who got got divorced because his wife cheated on him. He was very surprised and hurt by the cheating and said he never suspected it. I believe he has been divorced for a couple of years at the most, and is now dating another woman and writes “I will never get married again. Ever.”   I met a girl, “age appropriate,” masters degree, university teacher, very nice, attractive, really easy to talk to. She was married for 34 years, dated only one other guy very brief, then met me. She lives about 180 miles away. We have ..read more

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Still talking to your ex? If you have children together, you probably are and you will probably be talking to him or her until the kids are adults (and even after that.) That’s a good thing! Talking to your ex about the kids is a must. No matter how angry you are at him or … The post Still Talking To Your Ex? Ask Yourself Why appeared first on Divorced Guy Grinning ..read more

I received the message below from Mike, a 53 year old guy who has been both widowed and divorced, and who has some words of wisdom for men over 50. Thought I would share, and in italics below are my comments. Thanks so much, Mike!  Jackie, I wanted you to know that I loved your piece from Sept 3. Happy Birthday! I crossed that personal Rubicon in 2012, and can say with certainty that I’ve learned more in the past 3 years than I did in the previous 50. I’m not sure, though, if that means I’m a life-long learner, or just really slow on the uptake! I was widowed at 38, and divorced at 51. Bo ..read more

If you are dating a woman with kids, you probably aren’t doing it just for fun. You most likely really, really like the woman (or love her) and you are smart enough to realize that with her, comes her children. Same thing applies to a woman dating a guy with kids, by the way. Remember the movie “Jerry Maguire?” when Tom Cruise says to Cuba Gooding Jr., “Can I ask you a question? What do you know about the single mother?” and Cuba replies, “Single mothers don’t date. They’ve been to the circus, know what I mean? You’ve got to have the talk.” I bring that up because that is a classic case where ..read more

One of my most popular articles on Divorced Girl Smiling is , “Honey, I want a Divorce: when a Woman Decides to Leave.” There are currently hundreds of comments posted from men and women who have yelled at each other (in writing), battling this argument out: When a woman leaves you, is it justified? Or did she give up too soon? The following comment (from a man) particularly caught my attention because he brings up many good but arguable points:   Every story is different but what I’ve noticed in my life is this happens too often: People who have affairs often try and cover up the di ..read more

Divorced Girl Smiling received a heartbreaking e-mail from a newly separated man seeking custody advice. His two young children are having difficulty transitioning from one house to another.  Dear Jackie, Earlier this year my wife of 9 years left me. She said she felt we had grown apart and she wanted to be with someone more extroverted. I have always been a quiet person but she said she thought I had become progressively more shy. She also said she had been feeling very sexual, but no longer found me sexually attractive. As you said in one of your recent blog posts, “nothing really bad h ..read more

In response to my article, “Newly separated man seeks custody advice,” I received this comment from a guy offering some divorce advice of his own:   I think the only part of Jackie’s divorce advice I’d disagree with is letting your ex into your house. Be nice, don’t make negative comments, but don’t let her in to Your house. It’s a space that you need to create and define with your kids and make it a home with their help. Get their help to add personal touches to their rooms. Go on excursions and take pictures. Make collages that you can hang in their rooms. Put pictures on the fridge so ..read more

From a reader: Jackie, I can’t get over my ex-wife and wondering how I ever will. My advice: A few years ago, a friend of mine was going through a  divorce and she said to me, “It’s been two years and I’m still not over it. I WANT to be over it—over him, but I just don’t know how to do it.” I felt sorry for her because I get it. No one can help a person get over their ex-husband/ex-wife. The person has to do it on their own, and on their own timetable. Sure, there are things you can do to TRY to get over your ex–like see a therapist, engage in a new hobby, find faith, exercise, start volu ..read more