Wondering what to say in mediation? I have been co-mediating with Brian James for over 16 years and unfortunately, we have heard statements people make to their spouse that are offensive, mean, and that ultimately undermine the mediation process. On a positive note, Brian and I have also heard our clients say wonderful things—things that are kind and thoughtful and productive, and that help make the process smoother and so much more effective. It’s not always easy to be nice during mediation, given the anger and resentment you might have towards your soon-to-be-ex, or the fear you are experien ..read more

What does it mean to be a strong and independent woman? Here is my story, which includes what it means to me. For a long time, I didn’t share or write much about my current marriage. After all, here I am serving women going through divorce, leaving their partner, breaking ties, and trying to show them, “you are a strong and independent woman.”  I’m reminding them of that, even when they are alone, and showing them the path to independence through real estate. I didn’t share much about my relationship because I didn’t want the perception to be that I was saying one thing and doing another ..read more

Being recently separated, I can remember just feeling like I was in such unchartered territory. It was chaotic. So many things were new for me, and I just didn’t know what to expect. Examples of what you don’t know when you are recently separated: the court system, what mediation is, how to keep your home, how your kids are going to react, and more. Not to mention having a broken heart and all the other emotions that go along with being recently separated. Here’s the part of this article where I say, “Here’s my advice for the recently separated…” but I won’t. Instead, I’ll let other women who ..read more

If you are going through a divorce and feeling frustrated by the divorce process–how long it’s taking, some unfair things that seem to be going on, feeling like you just want it to be over, and tired of the expense of divorce, you are not alone. When it comes to the divorce process, it can be long, painful, expensive and seem very very unjust.   Here are some examples of injustice in the divorce process that came from the Divorced Girl Smiling facebook group: 1. A woman’s ex refuses to abide by a clause in their divorce agreement that has specific pick up and drop off times for their chil ..read more

We all have bad habits. Some are so ingrained in our daily routine that we barely notice them. These habits may seem harmless, but they can hurt our lives in the long run. Examples of bad habits are procrastination, nail-biting, overeating, smoking, etc. Going through a divorce might be the right time to take action in stopping a bad habit. The first step in stopping a bad habit is that you need to be willing to unlearn the habit. Unlearning a bad habit may sound difficult, but it is possible.   Here are 7 Steps in Stopping a Bad Habit   Step 1: Identify The Bad Habit   The firs ..read more

Jackie, my husband left me for another woman and I still love him. We dated for 10 years, and we were married for 6 and a half years, we have no children. My now ex husband was behaving very weird  for months, he swore everything was fine but I was suspicious. I even confronted him and asked him if he was seeing someone else, which he denied completely and even got mad at me for asking.   Still after that, he was still very distant, he did a lot of traveling due to business.  One day he told me he wanted to talk. I was happy because I thought he finally wanted to share with ..read more

After your divorce is finalized one more legal step needs to be taken: your will and trust after divorce. Newly divorced women (and men) should have their wills, trusts, and powers of attorney rewritten.  The new documents should reflect your new life.  You will want to provide for your children while ensuring that your ex does not receive any assets.  And, you will want to ensure a trusted friend or family member is in charge of ensuring that your wishes are fulfilled.   There are several reasons to prioritize a new will and trust after divorce. First, it ensures that you ..read more

What is a QDRO? When people with retirement plans get a divorce in Texas, they often assume their retirement plans are separate property, and they get to take their retirement savings with them. This is usually not the case. Because Texas is a community property state, the court can award part of one spouse’s retirement plan to the other spouse. When this occurs, a special order – called a Qualified Domestic Relations Order, or QDRO for short – must be prepared for the judge’s signature. The order tells the retirement plan administrator how to divide the retirement plan between the two sp ..read more

When couples are in distress and on the brink of divorce, their sense of urgency can lead to impulsive decision making, which can then result in both unnecessary and damaging outcomes. Some couples jump to divorce (which should never be treated as an emergency), and others jump prematurely into couples therapy. Either way, the premature decision contributes to unnecessarily bad outcomes. Impulsive Decision Making and The Premature Decision to Divorce There’s good evidence to suggest that couples often choose to divorce prematurely. In the early 2010s, Bill Doherty, the founder of discernment c ..read more

How to heal after being cheated on is complicated, but having been there, I can offer some advice that might be helpful. Though it was several years ago, I still vividly remember when my boyfriend told me he had cheated on me. I was utterly shocked. You know the feeling, the one where your jaw is on the ground and your body feels frozen while your brain tries to process what you just heard. Finding out someone cheated on you is like getting punched in the stomach. Hard. It’s a devastating experience I wouldn’t wish on anyone. The relationship you thought you had is gone, instantly replaced wit ..read more