Just a quick vent. London officially got upgraded into a Tier 2 on the lockdown scale today (to come into effect from midnight tomorrow) which means that we will no longer be able to mix inside with any other households, and that more places will be closing and people should be working from home. This essentially means all plans are cancelled…it is just going to revert back to the three of us home alone with each other as company, except the other two have work and can have things to do in the day and people to talk to and to see…and then there is me. I am going to essentially be sitting at ho ..read more

To be honest, it has been a few of them in a row. I would say day to day I am pretty happy, and doing a good job at amusing myself; but sometimes I take a step back and have some time to think (or as of now have a whole heap of period hormones to keep me company) and the whole situation starts to feel overwhelming. It seems likely we are about to get locked down again more strictly, which means no more seeing family or being able to go home when I want to. It means being much more isolated again, without the opportunity to see friends. At present I am making the effort to see a friend or two e ..read more

So, it has been a little while. My apologies for not posting- life is…weird? It started to feel like a little bit of normality was creeping back in – we were able to see people a little more, and although we were super cautious (have tried to stay outside as much as possible, and not going inside to eat or doing activities like swimming or the cinema etc) we have been seeing more of family and friends which has been lovely. It has mostly been seeing friends in parks, or on a few occasions we have had friends come over for dinner- but only one at a time, and distance is maintained where possibl ..read more

Why am I literally the worst at thinking of catchy titles for my blogs? Eugh. Life is plodding along much the same as usual. Most of the country is opening up again now (apart from specific areas which have had to go into local lockdowns due to virus spikes), so we are being encouraged to use public transport and eat out (the 50% off eat out to help out scheme!) and go back to work to support the economy…whilst in the same breath being told the virus isn’t gone, we should maintain distancing at all times, and should avoid public transport and wear masks when inside anywhere not our own homes ..read more

Sooo, a recap of my week thus far: We had it confirmed we will be furloughed until the end of October. Which means not starting back at work until the 1st of November. If we don’t get recalled before then, it will mean we will have been furloughed for 7 months… that is insane, and something nobody could have seen coming at all. It really is interesting trying to balance my life with my worklife, and not seeing myself as worth less due to the lack of work. It is hard to try and enjoy being off work, without feeling guilty about it, or feeling the need to be productive. I am trying to enjoy the ..read more

Enjoy transcripts of voicenotes over yesterday, which was my last day to go and clear my desk from the job I was made redundant from. I left out some details about specific names and places.  I specifically haven’t blogged much about my redundancy and the details because I don’t want that to be public, but it has been…SHIT. And I feel I have been treated very badly.  A lot of yesterday was processing that, and so I am not including that in these notes because the internet isn’t the place for them, and there is no way to make them any type of anonymous!   11:30am hey, just did my ..read more

Hello, Lockdown life is weird. It is nice to have time at home, to get a break from working, to re-appreciate the things we have in life and the people we have connections with, but it is hard- to  deal with the stress, to stay separate, to fear, the unknown. A lot in my life is unknown right now. And I am trying to be okay with that…most days I succeed at it, some days I fail. I think day to day, life is okay and we are safe and laughing and making the most of the situation, but other days, when I take a step back, it is so fucking scary. When is it safe to see my family again? When can ..read more

During my redundancy process I sent SO MANY voicenotes to my friends, talking it out, venting, crying and more. I was disappointed by the way I was treated, and feel like I have passed my programme over to be torn up and ignored. It is hard to put blood sweat and tears for years into work, and see it torn apart. I went through different days of feeling differently about it – denial, anger, sadness, and somedays a bit of them all. I think it still doesn’t quite feel real, because I am still furloughed from my other role, so it isn’t as obvious right now if that makes sense? Everything is weird ..read more

Two days in a row..shocking! There is nothing specific to say, I just wanted to denote that apart from all the BIG feelings, and the changes, and the thoughts on everything wider, there are also happy times. I have been both very happy, and also very sad, during this period, and I want that to be documented. Last week I went to see two work friends at a National trust park, and we just walked around in the sunshine, dodging pouring rain showers, and it was LOVELY.  It was nothing special, just a walk in the park with a hot chocolate, but it was the first friends I had seen in months, and ..read more

Today is the 9th July 2020, which is exactly 4 months to the day since my little Brothers 9th birthday. On the weekend before we went to a safari zoo, and it was the last day of normality for me really! We were already being overly cautious…washing our hands about 10 times during the day, sanitising the table and cutlery etc- but we were definitely in the minority. 4 months ago today was a Monday, his actual birthday, where I went to see him for Birthday breakfast then got the train into work. We did 4 more days of work before I came home for the weekend, (we actually did do fun things that we ..read more