Recently, I was talking to a friend who’s had a hard year. As the conversation flowed, I started thinking about the way we talk about ourselves when we’re dealing with difficult things. We say things like, “isn’t it great I could handle that schedule despite all the stress?” and “isn’t it so cool she got that job despite those grades and he made all those friends despite being new?” But when we talk in this way, we feel proud only after we separate our accomplishments from our hardships. We tell ourselves that we are successful despite the challenges we face. The more I’ve thought about this ..read more

I’m sure it comes as no surprise to all of you that I like to read. I mean, if I’m going to ramble on and on here, it’s only fair that I read other peoples’ ramblings from time to time too. Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve loved books. In third grade, I was so obsessed with Little House on the Prairie that I convinced myself that I needed to move to a farm and live like it was 1835. I love talking about books, too. I literally wrote my college essay about reading. Yet, whenever I’m asked what my favorite genre is, I lie and say that I don’t know. But I do know. My favorite books are books a ..read more

When you type the words “chronic illness college” into google, you get 252,000,000 results in 0.58 seconds. The first title to pop up is “Guide For College Students Living with a Chronic Condition,” followed by “28 ‘Hacks’ for Going to College With Chronic Illness,” “12 Things I Wish I’d Known Before Going to College with a Chronic Illness,” and “Surviving college with a chronic illness.” I had planned to make that number 252,000,001 by writing something very similar until I tried reading a few and realized how irritating they are. To start, there’s the dramatic, anxiety-provoking titles and d ..read more

A few days ago, I made myself an appointment with a new doctor over the phone. It took all of 10 minutes and wasn’t even that hard. But if you told me last year that I would have done something like that, I wouldn’t have believed you. I know it sounds ridiculous. A phone call, really? Is that really such a big deal? Yes. Yes really. Because to me, it is. I hate making phone calls. Absolutely despise. They are one of the most nerve racking tasks I could possibly be asked to do. The thought of talking to someone I’ve never met, especially when I can’t see their face terrifies me. And rather than ..read more

When I was 10, I made my mom buy me a shirt that said “ask me about my Crohn’s Disease” because my Camp Oasis counselor had one and I thought it was just the *coolest.* I really only wore it around the house and it sort of became a joke to the rest of my family. Every time I would come downstairs my dad would “ask me” about my Crohn’s to the point where I taped a piece of paper saying “actually don’t ask” to the front of it to make him be quiet. At the time, it was just a funny t-shirt that I wore to make my family laugh. But thinking back, 10 year old me was on to something important. So ofte ..read more

I’m thinking about you. Yes, you. The person reading this right now. I’m thinking about you. I’m thinking about you, and I hope you’re doing well. But I know that might not be the case, especially now. You may be thinking “you don’t even know me” or “you have no idea how I feel,” and you would be right. Maybe I don’t know you. I can’t possibly know how you feel. But I’m still thinking about you. I’m thinking about you, and I care about you. I’m serious. Pinky promise. So why am I telling you this? To make you smile? I hope so. But it’s more than that. So often, I find myself writing about how ..read more

I’m just gonna say it: I hate new years resolutions. I think they’re the worst. And no, I’m not just bitter about my failed attempt to totally transform my life in 2014 (hey, I was only 11, give me a break!). But I don’t hate them for what they are- goals are good things. I hate them for the way they make us think. New years resolutions perpetuate an all-or-nothing mentality that is as ridiculous as it is detrimental to our mental well-being. The idea that we have to do something perfectly or not at all causes us to believe that one mistake signifies instant failure. That if we can’t do it rig ..read more

If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you know how I feel about Pinterest quotes. (And if you don’t, no need to worry! You can find all my thoughts right here ). So you can imagine my surprise when I found one tonight that I actually liked. I guess it’s less of a quote and more of a question, but regardless, it has none of the nauseating elements of a typical “inspirational” quote, so that’s a win for me. It goes like this: “why do people need to understand everything” Okay, okay. So it may have seemed cooler and more interesting in huge black uppercase letters with an artsy backgro ..read more

Right now, we’re all staying pretty comfy. I would be lying if I said I didn’t show up to school in pajamas every day. I mean, what else can you do when you’re stuck at home besides amass a 50-piece loungewear collection? Being physically comfortable is great; it brings a sense of coziness and warmth that we’re definitely missing in the real world right now. And who wouldn’t want to live their life covered in layers of fluff? But there’s another kind of comfortable that can be dangerous if left unchecked. The kind where we cozy up in our own little personal bubble because it’s safe. The kind w ..read more

I talk a lot about living the Crohn’s life. I mean, it is the title of this entire blog. But it’s come to my attention that I’ve never shown you what it’s really like. So I present to you: a day in my (Crohn’s) life. Now, this isn’t to say that my experience is the universal experience because it isn’t. And this isn’t to say that my life revolves around my disease because it doesn’t. This is just a snapshot of what it’s like to be me: a bored 18 year old whose been stuck in her house for 8 months and often eats fruit snacks for breakfast. Oh, and she has Crohn’s. So, here it goes: 7:45 am: 1st ..read more