How am I supposed to love a body I’ve only ever viewed as a prison?
A teen with JIA
by
3w ago
How am I supposed to love a body I’ve only ever viewed as a prison ..read more
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Into the void again. The unremitting spiral. You h...
A teen with JIA
by
10M ago
Into the void again. The unremitting spiral. You have failed. You are a failure. You can do something about this. What are you doing? Fix it. Why won’t do something about this? Fix it. You’re better than this. You’re smarter than this. You know better. You’re stupid. You’re useless. What’s wrong with you? Do something ..read more
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Why am I fighting so hard for a future I never eve...
A teen with JIA
by
1y ago
Why am I fighting so hard for a future I never even stood a chance at getting ..read more
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I concede. You win. I’m done fighting. You’ve been...
A teen with JIA
by
1y ago
I concede. You win. I’m done fighting. You’ve been on a path of destruction for nearly a decade now, and in that time I fought. Oh, how I fought. I put out as many fires as I could, I forced my way through, I fought to survive in the storm. And I did it all with a smile. A placid mask of faux happiness. But I’m tired. I don’t want to fight anymore. I don’t want to lock myself away and secretly sob in mourning. I don’t want to have your presence constantly linger. I don’t want to have my identity tied to you. I don’t want to fighting for this idolized version of things in my head. So I give up ..read more
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I don’t drive. I know, I know. It’s a controversia...
A teen with JIA
by
1y ago
I don’t drive. I know, I know. It’s a controversial topic when you’re a handful of years past the age and haven’t even done as much as gotten a permit. If you have something to say, trust me, I’ve heard it all. “You don’t drive?!” “Don’t you want to be independent? Aren’t you tired of relying on someone?” “Why? Are you scared?” “Just go take the test! You don’t really have to do anything.” They simply can’t grasp the idea that I haven don’t such a simple thing. It’s so easy, after all. It took a few years for it to stop bothering me as much— I would be lying if I said it’s not a sore topic eve ..read more
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I think I’ve been in mourning for years and I neve...
A teen with JIA
by
1y ago
I think I’ve been in mourning for years and I never even realized it. Mourning what was my idea of my ideal self. Mourning a future I’ll never have. Mourning the person I’ll never become. This is what they don’t understand— the grief. The heartache of the ‘what if’s’ and ‘could have been’s’— the detrimental spiral. There is no solution. No cure. There is only a feeling of helplessness. Desultory acceptance ..read more
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“ It’s ludicrous! Is this how my life is going to ...
A teen with JIA
by
1y ago
“ It’s ludicrous! Is this how my life is going to be? Are injuries from merely existing going to start appearing out of thin air now more frequently? How am I going to live? How am I going to take care of myself? I can’t be who I want to be because I’m trapped inside this stupid body!! I can’t even be alive let alone be as active as I want! I can’t even give blood ..read more
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I’m tired. I’m tired of fighting— fighting to feel...
A teen with JIA
by
1y ago
I’m tired. I’m tired of fighting— fighting to feel ‘normal’, fighting to live a life doing whatever I want, fighting my body. I just want it all to end. I’m done fighting… I can’t anymore ..read more
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Somehow I’ve managed to hurt the knee on my ‘good’...
A teen with JIA
by
1y ago
Somehow I’ve managed to hurt the knee on my ‘good’ leg and it’s proving to be a rather frustrating thing to not rely on it how I need to. It’s making everything else hurt and I don’t even know what’s wrong with it yet. I’m so done. I give up. I don’t want to do this anymore… I just want to ‘get better’ but there is no getting better— there’s no cure. After nearly a decade you would think it stings less… but it doesn’t and I just can’t anymore ..read more
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I’d be a happier person if I just let go of the id...
A teen with JIA
by
1y ago
I’d be a happier person if I just let go of the idea that I can be a ‘normal’ 20 something ..read more
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