An Unexpected Contact...
4 Relative Strangers
by
3y ago
So the letters arrived from birth mother. I wasn't sure how I felt as I opened the letter within a letter. But what I found and my own reactions surprised me immensely. Birth mum had written a very basic letter - but it wasn't emotional, very matter of fact and, amazingly, a simple thank you letter to Papa and I for taking care of 'her' boys. She talked about her favourite things, her family, her pets - it was as if I was reading a letter from a child. Then I had to remember that she wasn't much older than KC when she became pregnant. Then I opened the other letters - they were thank you ca ..read more
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Urinetown...
4 Relative Strangers
by
3y ago
Sometimes adoption throws up the strangest of challenges designed to push all of those 'parenting' buttons. We've had a busy couple of weeks. TJ's 'emergency' CAMHS (Children and Adolescent Mental Health Services) finally came through - it was originally referred by the GP last June when TJ's anxiety became so heightened that he threatened suicide and refused to go to school (see School Refusal post) and the GP signed him off school whilst we awaited his EHC plan to be completed, thus allowing him to attend a specialist school. During that wait TJ gained his plan and obtained a place at an AS ..read more
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New Year - Different Issues....
4 Relative Strangers
by
3y ago
We've had a strange couple of months - filled with life's ups and downs. KC's birthday came and went - he didn't want to invite any friends, no fuss, just a family dinner and a trip to the movies. At first I thought that was sweet but now I realise there is an ulterior motive. Essentially KC doesn't want any of his new mates at school to know he has two Dads and an autistic brother. I'm not quite sure how to deal with that yet - but I think the first step will be to sit him down and talk to him about it. My fears were confirmed at his first parent's evening at school, which I attended a coup ..read more
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A New Direction
4 Relative Strangers
by
3y ago
I remember when I first started writing this blog - back in 2012 - how time flies, that my initial idea was to write a positive blog about adoption - something that showed others that adoption can have as many ups as it does downs. It was a response to, what I felt, was the plethora of negative adoption stories that were in the press at the time and with gay adopters still being viewed with suspicion I wanted to help alleviate those fears as well. Looking back over the past couple of years, I've realised that my blog has, unintentionally, become as dark as some of the others I was originally ..read more
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Another Positive Post - 2 in a row!!!!!!
4 Relative Strangers
by
3y ago
So today I want to focus on KC and the positive turn his life has taken. Again I don't want to jinx things and I apologise if it appears as though I'm gloating - I'm not. As you know it has been a struggle and I'm hoping that you will see that there can be light at the end of what appears to be a very long and endless tunnel. When we decided that school really wasn't working for KC we made a huge decision to home school for a while - whilst we sorted out a suitable placement for him. KC has an Education and Health Care Plan (which used to the the Statement of Special Educational Needs) and ..read more
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Positive Labelling...
4 Relative Strangers
by
3y ago
Yet again, I begin a post by apologising for taking so long to write anything. It's so easy to blame everyone else - but the truth is that things have been going so well recently that my fear is that I may appear to be gloating and, even worse, I may jinx myself and upset the equilibrium. But here goes! I'm going to focus today's post on our youngest son. TJ has had such a difficult few months. Firstly he had his diagnosis for Foetal Alcohol Syndrome, which hit him really hard and this was followed by a full post adoption assessment (something which is available to all adopted children, bu ..read more
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Gay Family Friendly Holidays
4 Relative Strangers
by
3y ago
We decided to book a last minute summer holiday. Papa had some air miles to use and by the fourth week of the school summer holidays I was already running out of stuff to do with the boys. Plus, Papa was given a promotion at work, so I felt it was time for him to celebrate his hard work and also to spend some quality time with his family... seeing as how we rarely see him during the working week. So I keyed in the air miles details and asked them to find me flights for our usual holiday destinations in Europe, Sitges, Barcelona, Malta Majorca, etc... the traditional holiday resorts where we h ..read more
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A good week!
4 Relative Strangers
by
3y ago
Sometimes it feels like the only things I ever record on my blog are the negative moments - the issues etc. And... of course, there are many but there are also many joys to adoption and to parenting in general, although they don't get as many readers oddly enough. :> Sometimes  have to remind myself that I'm not writing a misery memoir! But this has been a good week. I've been filling out school forms for both boys - they both have been accepted into specialist schools, albeit different ones and, as both boys have a special needs plan (EHC) they qualify for transport to and from the ..read more
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School Refusal...
4 Relative Strangers
by
3y ago
Well - it's certainly been another interesting week - it's never dull in the world of adoption. Sometimes, I'd just like there to be nothing to write about - just a boring, old, run of the mill, family week. Yeah, right... This week TJ refused to go back to school - ever. I've never experienced school refusal before - that was for other people's children, that was for parents who had no discipline or control over their kids - where their children dictate the rules, where there is a lack of boundaries... But, no. School refusal is very different. I watched as our youngest son, who has alway ..read more
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Struggles - do they ever really end?
4 Relative Strangers
by
3y ago
It's been a funny few weeks since I last posted. As ever in the world of adoption after weeks of stagnation and seemingly endless battles everything seems to happen at once. Firstly, I need to thank all those of you who sent donations to help keep TJ in school - we were overwhelmed, but in light of the following I have requested that everyone be refunded - if you haven't been then just comment of drop me an email and I'll sort it out for you. The fact is that the day before we were to begin the lengthy and difficult appeal process to fight for TJ's EHC Plan (which is a legal agreement betwee ..read more
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