Aging: The Good, the Bad, and the Tolerable V is for Vegetation Even though I’ve been retired over 20 years, I still appreciate my lazy mornings. There are two brief time periods between the frost of winter and heat of summer when I can sit outside on the screened porch, my feet up on an ottoman, reading the news on my computer, a cup of black coffee on the side table by my wicker chair. Outside, the vegetation on the patch of earth at the back and side of our townhouse entertains me with pleasant distractions. Earlier in the month, our homeowner’s association took down three large pine tree ..read more

Aging: The Good, the Bad, the Tolerable U is for University Diversity The Harvey A. Friedman Center for Aging at the Washington University in St. Louis has been looking at institutions across the country to see what they are doing to increase age inclusive campuses. It is so exciting to think institutes of higher learning working on diversity, equality, and inclusion (DEI) would add older folks to the mix. I am aware that university DEI programs have been a hot political topic of late. (They are here in North Carolina). Ignoring this problem for the moment, my excitement centers around the f ..read more

Aging: The Good, the Bad, and the Tolerable T is for Three Good Things When I was a volunteer at Duke University Hospital right after I retired, Dr. J Bryan Sexton, director of the Patient Safety Center lectured our group about Three Good Things. Three Good Things, also called Three Blessings, was a tool he used to decrease burnout among hospital staff. The staff documented, at the end of the day, three things that went well. After a two week intervention, the staff reported a 40% drop in depression and 22% decrease in burnout that was sustained one year later. Three Good Things “trains” us ..read more

Aging: The Good, the Bad, and the Tolerable S is for Successful Aging Live Long, Die Short, A Guide to Authentic Health and Successful Aging by Roger Landry, MD, MPH The information in this book is based on the findings of a ten-year study from the MacArthur Foundation’s Research Network on Successful Aging. The study found “how we age is determined more by our everyday lifestyle choices than our genes.” Here are the ten tips to achieve authentic health and successful aging: Tip 1:  Use It or Lose It We must consistently use the physical, emotional, and social skills we wish to keep as ..read more

Aging: The Good, the Bad, and the Tolerable R is for Regret Regret, one of the ghosts of aging, comes upon us one day dressed up like wisdom, looking profound and serious, sensible and responsible. It prods us to begin to look back. It presses us to question everything we’ve ever done: I should have listened to my mother…; I should have stayed in school…; I should have waited to get married..; I should have majored in something else…; I should have changed jobs…; I should have spent more time with the children, with the family, at home…; I should have gone away from this place, this town ..read more

Aging: The Good, the Bad, and the Tolerable Q is for Quality of Life Quality of life (QOL) is the degree to which a person is healthy, comfortable, and able to participate in or enjoy special occasions and life activities. It is critical for health care professionals to take quality of life into account when establishing each patient’s goals of care and to use it as a guide for all care decisions. Merck Manual Quality of life means something different to each person. To Marv Roelofs, it meant not getting treatment for an aggressive lung cancer that would kill him in a matter of weeks. He d ..read more

Aging: The Good, the Bad, and the Tolerable P is for Purple Poem I have long loved this poem that I think of as the Purple Poem. It was written in 1961 by Jenny Joseph, who was just 28 at the time.   The poem snubs its nose on expected behavior as one ages. I suppose it’s the maverick in me that endorses the message. Warning When I am an old woman I shall wear purple With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me. And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter. I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired And gobbl ..read more

Aging: The Good, the Bad, and the Tolerable O is for On Aging On Aging Poem by Maya Angelou When you see me sitting quietly, Like a sack left on the shelf, Don’t think I need your chattering. I’m listening to myself. Hold! Stop! Don’t pity me! Hold! Stop your sympathy! Understanding if you got it, Otherwise I’ll do without it! When my bones are stiff and aching, And my feet won’t climb the stair, I will only ask one favor: Don’t bring me no rocking chair. When you see me walking, stumbling, Don’t study and get it wrong. ‘Cause tired don’t mean lazy And every goodbye ain’t gone. I’m the same ..read more

Aging: The Good, the Bad, and the Tolerable N is for Nostalgia I have lived almost 82 years. A lot has happened in my life. And a lot of memories come flooding back with a deep longing to experience them again. Nostalgia, as defined by the Oxford dictionary, is a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past. Feelings of nostalgia increase with age. Feelings of nostalgia for me are especially acute when I pass by places that I spent with my three grandsons: the playground in the park near Whole Foods, the mechanical rides on the main floor of our only inside mall, the turn-off that ta ..read more

Aging: The Good, the Bad, and the Tolerable M is for Music is Magical I was standing in the middle of an aisle at the Dollar Store. It was the beginning of COVID, and our neighbor told me that the store still had thermometers on the shelves. The song, Silhouettes on the Shade came over the intercom, freezing me in place. My breath quickened. Tears seeped from my eyes. I wasn’t the 78-year-old woman wearing a mask in the midst of a pandemic but a brown-haired teenager in Jersey City swaying to the Doo-Wop tune. I stood transported unaware of other customers until the song ended. It took a whi ..read more