Only Evan has been sending your end of day roundup newsletter at you the past few weeks. I’m tired, yes, always, and also right at end of day I’m busy with the tabs and the kids and occasionally dinner and usually a drink and also I don’t wanna. BUT. Today’s stories were so damn good, every single time I kept wishing I could send each of them at you. So here we are. You and me. In a newsletter thingie. Be ready to read. There were tabs. That’s fine, you gotta know what your day’s gonna look like. Good, bad, up and down? A day as YEESH as all others? Yes. Then I sent you this one, which I figu ..read more

Poor James Comer. We reckon it’s time for the House Oversight Committee chair to fold up his Biden impeachment investigation and go back to Kentucky to sell honey, free from the frustrations of a big city world he is clearly not cut out for. To truly understand where our brain is when we say that, watch this clip of Congressman Pigfuck fighting with Democratic Oversight Committee ranking member Jamie Raskin last week. About 10 seconds in, Comer yells, “I SELL HUNNY!” in the most amazing Kentucky falsetto, his stupid head shaking to and fro as he yelps his impotent frustration at Raskin’s im ..read more

Nikki Haley may have ended her presidential campaign weeks ago after getting shellacked on Super Tuesday, but her ghostly presence on Republican primary ballots still provides an opportunity for protest votes, as we saw yesterday in Pennsylvania’s primary election. Donald Trump may have the GOP nomination all sewn up, but he got a reminder that a lot of Republicans still can’t stand him, with a skosh under 17 percent of the Republican primary vote — from more than 156,000 voters — going to Haley, who may no longer be running but is also not sleep-farting in a chilly Manhattan courtroom whil ..read more

They deserve it. (Mike Johnson does not.) Wonkette is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Share Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.  BlueSky!  @evanjosephhurst on Threads! I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on. If you're shopping on Amazon anyway, this portal gives us a small commission. Want to donate just once ..read more

LSU’s ‘Old Law’ building plus an oil refinery. Images: ‘Kkmurray,’ GNU Free Documentation License 1.2 and ‘Art Prof,’ Creative Commons License 2.0 Big Oil has long considered state governments in oil-producing states like Texas, Oklahoma, and Louisiana to be helpful partners, or wholly owned subsidiaries. The oil companies keep drilling and pumping, and the pols don’t get in the way with burdensome regulation or nosy investigations into the occasional plant explosion, and the campaign donations keep coming. It’s a happy symbiosis between producers of toxic sludge and politicians who love to ..read more

Biden with Zelenskyy in the White House a few months ago. At long last, months too late, President Joe Biden got to sign a Ukraine aid bill today. After House Speaker Mike Johnson made his deal to fuck over the devil (Marjorie Taylor Greene) and pass aid for Ukraine, Israel, Gaza, and Taiwan, the final package went back to the Senate, where the original versions passed months ago. The Senate broke the filibuster yesterday afternoon and voted 79-18 to pass it, and bing bong! Bill becomes law. (Do not congratulate Mike Johnson.) This package comes to a total of $95 billion, including $61 billi ..read more

‘Security of the People,’ WPA mural by Seymour Fogel, 1942. Wilbur J. Cohen Federal Building (Old Social Security Building), Washington, DC Some nice time news for workers this week, with new rules from two different federal agencies. Yes, there goes Joe Biden again, using the government to make changes that make life better for ordinary Americans instead of for corporations and the super rich. Take This Noncompete Agreement And Shove It First up, the Federal Trade Commission voted on Tuesday to ban most noncompete agreements for all US employees at every level. Those are those employment pr ..read more

Pecker from the MSNBC TikToks Poetry that the first witness to sit upwind from The Furter at his criminal trial is David Pecker, and not just because his last name is a euphemism for pork sword. The former CEO of American Media and publisher of the National Enquirer didn’t just save Trump’s greasy bacon on the eve of the election in 2015, we can thank him for first bringing the head of that hog to every market checkout line from coast to coast, forcing us to think about him in the first place. The ELECTION FRAUD FAKE NEWS sausage is back to haunt them both, and boy is it rancid and greasy. A ..read more

Photo by Mathurin NAPOLY / matnapo on Unsplash This is all very stupid. We should not, under any circumstances, be in a position where there is an argument in front of the Supreme Court of the United States over whether or not doctors should have to hem and haw over whether or not to provide emergency abortion care in cases where a patient’s health or life is at risk. Yet, that is exactly where we are. Today, the Supreme Court will hear arguments in Moyle v. United States, which challenges EMTALA (Emergency Medical Treatment and Active Labor Act), a federal law that requires hospitals that r ..read more

He did it again, and it looks like this is going to become a thing: Donald Trump walking out of the courtroom all by himself at the end of a day of court, to stand, alone, and babble at reporters for minutes on end because FINALLY somebody will listen to him and think he’s interesting. (The clips just end up on the internet, whereupon they are brutally mocked.) The words he said this time were much the same. Did he bitch about being cold in the courtroom? He did, it’s “freezing” in there. Did he have a gargantuan stack of papers, articles printed from the internet by the young blonde lady w ..read more