Lola is my grandmother. She means a lot to me. I am most loved and cared for because she helps our family so much. When I lived in Miami as a little boy I was first diagnosed with autism. My Lola retired from her job in Buffalo to help us. She lived with us so mom could balance the needs of my three siblings and me as my dad was very busy training to be an ENT doctor.  Lola supports me in my interests. She has come to my autism conferences and loves to share my blog. She makes books interesting by reading to me with lots of expression. She talks to me about news and anything. I like how ..read more

G writes: Dear Philip, I have a 14 year old grandson with autism who has gotten more aggressive. He gets upset easily and throws things. He wasn’t like this before. He can’t tell us why he is upset. Do you have any insight on what might be going on with him? Dear G, I don’t know what your grandson is feeling but here is how I felt at age 14. For me puberty came with many strong feelings.  When I was 14 I wanted to be like the neurotypical kids at my school. They could do things with their friends and be more independent. I felt like there was no hope for me to be free of being dependen ..read more

Spring is God’s resurrection of nature.  New flowers make their way toward the sun. Grass grows after removing its winter blanket of snow and ice.  Music fills the air as birds sing in rounds and harmony.  Trees make new hats and clothes for their bare bodies. Floral designs and bright pastels for fashionable fruit trees.  Glorious sun brings the resurrection of all things new.  ..read more

Love is joining hearts. Most of my life is spent apart. It’s hard for me to be a friend. Have autism that never ends. It keeps me chained inside my mind. Without a way out for others to find.  Fragmented pieces of myself I try to show. Please put them together so you may know I love.  I love to be loved.     ..read more

2020 was a rough year. I hope 2021 will be much better.  2020 had many challenges. I felt very stressed and anxious. I went on medication that has helped. I still need to learn how to cope so I can learn to be more resilient to changes.  Making my body more compliant to do what I am supposed to do is my number one goal this year.  Freaking out body has been my biggest problem this year. For the first half of the year I was aggressive towards others when I got stressed. I would grab and scratch people. I did not want to do it but this is how my body acted automatically when st ..read more

Walls you build Between maskers and unmaskers Trumpers and Bideners. Between students and teachers Grandparents and grandchildren. You infect us with your poison   It destroys cells and society You show no mercy. The weak are vanquished.  The rest are bereaved  Their lives are coming apart.    A virus not seen How are you so powerful?  ..read more

The coronavirus pandemic really tested my nerves. Lately, I am getting better with not letting my anxieties get the best of me. The lockdown from March to June was scary for me. I was not able to feel calm. I was too worried that someone I loved would get sick. I got worried I might get sick. I wanted to try to have a more positive outlook but seeing the news everyday got to be very distressing. Many people were getting sick and dying. I stayed at home every day. I got really messed up. My aggression got more difficult to control. I was grabbing anyone who came too near me just because I ..read more

I am sad about what is happening in our country with how black people are being treated. They are not seen as equally valued as whites by our society. The murder of George Floyd by a police officer was the latest publicly seen injustice by our society’s institution of the police.  The police are supposed to be used for our protection. The police should be the good guys and help others be safe. Instead there are some bad cops that make many black people fearful and bring trauma and even death unnecessarily. George Floyd is a human being who had feelings, family, and should have had many m ..read more

I want to learn to handwrite. For most people this seems like it is so easy. Learning to write is very hard to do because my body is so apraxic. I mean to move one way but my nerves are all miswired. I mean to make my hand go right but instead it makes a movement to grab. I try to lift my hand but it just keeps going. Learning to get my body to learn new skills takes so much of my energy to accomplish. I get afraid I will never succeed. I get discouraged that all my energy will be wasted. I am worried other people won’t be patient enough to help me when my body gets crazy from the stress of ma ..read more

This Easter is going to be very different from other Easters. It is the first time we won’t go to church or eat with family other than my immediate family. I won’t see Lolo and Lola, my Uncle and Aunt, or my cousins.  I am going to be a lot more focused on Jesus’s resurrection and victory over death. Peace is ours because nothing can defeat Jesus or those who put their faith in Him. I am going to be more careful to be thankful. I have taken so much for granted like school, seeing friends, going out to see a movie or my sister’s meets. We have had a virus take it all away. In a really short t ..read more